Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Third trimester!

W00t, I am in the third trimester today!! Three more months and we can finally meet this baby that likes to punch and kick me all the time ;) Can't wait to meet the mini us!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Healthcare begins to feel the econmic crisis

I saw this article on Cnn.com and it is from Time:

US Hospitals Feel Debt, Credit Troubles

Beaumont was even mentioned in this article and I knew they were having issues from friends that work there. In November we were told at U of M that they were starting to have problems and they are cutting non-patient care jobs as needed. As a nurse we think our job is safe but if things get rough enough then even our industry can feel it. The problem is that elective surgeries and elective diagnostic procedures are down but then these people show up later in the ER very sick and unable to pay. We will have to see what happens... Up until Christmas our unit was crazy busy with a full house and more patients needing to come in. Hopefully we will pick up again after the Christmas slow down.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sunday, December 14, 2008

100 days to go

We are getting down to the home strech. Only 100 days to go! Go Sue!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Groundhog of Auto Industry

The US Senate has decided to skip a bailout for the auto industry.

I feel like I'm watching a six and twisted version of the Groundhog Day celebration, with the US Senate as Punxsutawney Phil. Can't you just see Governor Granholm standing on a throne of ice shouting:

"In a few days, the US Senate shall emerge from its burrow in Washington. If it sees its shadow and returns to its burrow without giving the auto makers a loan, I decree we shall have 6 more years of recession in Michigan!"

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Rule one: Always check you have key

Detroit News: Dearborn police needed to free handcuffed wife after 'adult time'

Thoughts:

1) Make sure you know where the key is BEFORE letting your significant other handcuff you to anything.

2) The cops were summoned at 7:15am. That means that either the couple oped for some early morning bondage (kinky) or she was handcuffed all night and they finally gave up at 7:15 in the morning. Which do you think is more likely?

3) Way to ruin a good thing dude. How long do you think it will be before this woman will EVER agree to handcuffing again?

Monday, December 08, 2008

MSU in Capital One Bowl

So its offical: MSU is going to the Capital One Bowl (a.k.a., the Citrus Bowl). I can see some pros and cons with that:

Pros:

- New Years Day Bowl? Those are when REAL bowls are played!

- MSU gets $4.25 million just for showing up. That's not a bad deal.

- This is the same bowl UofM played in last year when they beat Florida.

Cons:

- We play Georgia, a team that is nearly as good as Ohio State or Penn State.

- Unlike Big Ten teams, SEC teams typically don't mind running up the score. You think losing to Penn State 49-18 is bad? It could be 60+ with Georgia.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Wednesday Bar Night

We had a really good bar night on Wednesday.

Highlights:

My junk was cold for most of the night.

Joyce was a really cheap date.

Kien was my early 90s rap partner (House of Pain for the win!)

Wandering Eric showed up for a bit; I think there was a bet about whether I would use every seat at the table at least once (I only used 4).

At no time did I have the urge to sing karaoke.

Kasia and I competed on sexiness. She won.

And finally: I made it home without throwing up.

All in all, a good night:)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Minty Happiness

My favorite time of year is here again!

That's right: It's Mint M&M time again!

I bought my first bag of the season today; it was everything I remembered and dreamed it would be.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Cheesy girl post!














Saturday, Eric (the loving awesome husband that he is), took me to see Twilight. I have wanted to see this movie ever since I heard it was going to be made. I read all of the books by Stephanie Meyers and the books are very well written. I haven't been so into a series of books in such a long time. Eric wasn't too disappointed in seeing it. The first movie is a lot of background story so it is not as exciting or as sexy as some of the later ones. Can't wait for the next 3 movies.

I highly recommend these books. I was recommended them and loved them!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Justin Timberlake rocks SNL.

Justin Timberlake always rocks on SNL and I am so sad he had to cnacel next week. At least we got this a skit after it...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bailout Big 3?

I'm curious what my readers think of bailing out the Big 3. Part of me thinks that one of them needs to fail, so we should just let it happen. Its probably going to happen sooner or later anyways. That's what recessions are for really: replacing companies that cannot compete with more efficient ones.

And part of me thinks that the worst possible thing that could happen in what already looks like a recession is to put a couple hundred thousand more people out of work.

What do you guys think?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Facebook Controls You

You think you control your facebook profile, but really, it controls you!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

One More Reason I like Obama

He thinks the one thing to change in sports is adding a playoff to college football. I couldn't agree more! Skip to about 1:15 in this video to see the quote:

Saturday, November 08, 2008

First Bad Recession in our Adult Lives

It appears we are heading into a bad recession, the first one I have ever encountered in my adult life. While I tend to think I'm in a pretty safe job, I also thought that the last time I was laid off way back in during the start of the 2001 recession. Is anyone else worried?

One of the things that always interests me is the response companies have to a recession. Almost uniformly, they will cut jobs. But that actually just makes the recession worst because it lowers demand (if you're out of work, you stop buying stuff). That in turn forces more people out of work, which forms this sort of vicious cycle of layoffs and drops in demand.

I don't know what the right answer is, but I hope our new government has some interesting tricks up their sleeves.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Customers don't like Reality

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers"

As an engineer, I should not be allowed to be unsupervised on the phone with customers. Engineers have no ability to sugar coat things for a customer. Take this wonderful conversation I had with about 8 people from our biggest customer.

Them: We have two PCs in the remote lab. On one of them, the application starts in 40 seconds. On the other, it starts in 90 seconds. Why do you think that is?

Me: <short pause> well, it could be a lot of reasons. Off the top of my head...

Them: I think its your application.

Me: Well, lets look at it rationally: What is different between the two PC? Are they running the same software? Are they using the same configuration?

Them: Yes

Me: Well, then I don't think its the application. Maybe its your network...

Them: No its your application.

Me: <speaking as if talking to a 3 year old>I don't know what to tell you. If the app is the same and the configuration is the same, it can't be the application. They are running the same stuff! The results should be the same.

<Long Pause...>

Them: Well, there is one difference. On the fast one we load the software from the hard drive. On the other, we load it across the network.

Me: (thinking to myself: are you people retarded? You don't think that MIGHT be the issue?) Well, I think that explains it. The long pause is the time it takes to load the software.

Them: It can't be. Our network is great.

....

It devolves from there into me repeating that whatever is different between the PCs is the problem and them repeating it must be something in the software. I'll spare you the details.

...

Me: look, we can't both be right. Either it really is running the same software and really is using the same config or sometime about your PC/network is the issue. You go and figure it out and let us know. (Thinking in my head: In the mean time, I'll be sitting in my office not worrying about this because I already know your network is to blame).

Stretching: The Truth

Interesting article for those you who actually work out on occasion:

NYT: Everything you know about stretching is wrong

From the article:

If you’re like most of us, you were taught the importance of warm-up exercises back in grade school, and you’ve likely continued with pretty much the same routine ever since. Science, however, has moved on. Researchers now believe that some of the more entrenched elements of many athletes’ warm-up regimens are not only a waste of time but actually bad for you. The old presumption that holding a stretch for 20 to 30 seconds — known as static stretching — primes muscles for a workout is dead wrong. It actually weakens them. In a recent study conducted at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, athletes generated less force from their leg muscles after static stretching than they did after not stretching at all. Other studies have found that this stretching decreases muscle strength by as much as 30 percent. Also, stretching one leg’s muscles can reduce strength in the other leg as well, probably because the central nervous system rebels against the movements.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Whorecraft

So I was just surfing around the internet this evening, minding my own business. Totally not looking for porn. I swear! Anyway, I came across the following site that I knew all the male nerds who read this blog would like:

Whorelore: Swords, Sorcery, and Sex

Do I even have to tell you that this is not safe for work?

Event more nerdy: apparently this site used to be called "Whorecraft". Awesome.

Sue and I did get a good laugh at the name of the most current episode: The Rage of Bonan.

Bonan...hehe...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Paris for President?

Warning up front: you can practically feel brain cells dying in anguish as you watch this.

YouTube: Paris For President (Sort of safe for work)

Worst part: I first saw this on CNN! What the Fuck CNN? I know 24 hours is a lot of time to fill, but THIS?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Getting Closer

My FF team is starting to come together. I cracked 100 points this week!

That brings me one step closer to my only real goal when playing FF: not losing to a girl. Kasia's loss this week puts us in a tie. Sure, we both suck at 3-5 and she has 50 more points then me, but the point is:

SHE IS GOING DOWN!

hmmm...maybe that wasn't the best phrase to use...OK, how about this:

SHE WILL GIVE ME A BLOW JOB!

no no no...that's worse. Lets try one more time:

SHE WILL BE FORCED TO ADMIT THAT I AM BETTER AT CREATING AN IMAGINARY TEAMS OF FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

See, that just doesn't have the punch I'm looking for.

Readers, help me out with better trash talk :)

Friday, October 24, 2008

From R's down south blog ( now with harder to read colors; Sorry R, I liked it better the way it was before)

Weapon of Choice: How I've always said election should be

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Facebook Frenzy

So yea, I've got what I'm calling "Facebook Frenzy (tm)".

I like facebook way more than myspace so far. For one thing, facebook doesn't let people make those god awful sites that even their Mom thinks suck.

The People You May Know feature however is just this side of useless, at least for me. I get entries like this pretty much whenever I log in:

Bob Boberson
You and Bob both went to Michigan State University.


Yea. So did 40,000 other people. Each year I was there. Not really likely that I ever met them...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's a Boy!!!

That is right, our baby is a boy! We just had the ultrasound and it was very exciting!! He kept holding his junk so it took forever for the lady to see what was down there! It is Eric's son ;) He also likes to move and shake a lot ;) Here are the first pics!!



















Happy 3oth Birthday to Eric!!!!


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Wedding weekend

Sue and I had a good weekend attending one of her high school friend's wedding. I took full advantage of my 9 month designated driver:) I made her drive me to two separate bars, plus drive me all the way home from Corunna (not to be confused with Corona, which I did several times).

Plus, it meant that I missed watching most of the ass whooping that MSU took on Saturday, which was also nice.

In other news: tomorrow is the big day! No not my birthday (I get to turn 30???? Oh goodie....). Tomorrow is our first sonogram picture. Cross your fingers and send our baby good thoughts about having the correct number of arms, legs, fingers, and toes.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My High School is Famous!

Detroit News: Pinckney Girl's nude cell photo roils school

Not exactly what you want your high school's town to be known for...

Also, just how stupid do you have to be to believe that won't be passed around faster than herpes at Woodstock? These are 14 year old boys she was sending the picture to! For the love of God! That's like giving a two year old who you have been keeping awake for 2 days with pixie sticks a giant ice cream cone on a hot summer day, putting them in the back seat of your brand new car, and thinking everything will end up squeaky clean at the end of the day.

Stupid...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Fantasy Football update

My fantasy team has won the last two week and is slowly turning things around. Thank God too, because if I lose to Kasia I may never hear the end of it:) I just need her to lose a few more now...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Black Thursday

Yesterday was the day I have been dreading all quarter: the day my 401(k) statement came.

DUN DUN DUN!

<queue ominous music and lightening crashes>

And I was right to be afraid. I lost 12% of my retirement in one quarter! 12%! Eight years to save up that 12%. One quarter to lose it all! FR@#K! Stupid subprime idiots!

I guess I have to look at this as a good time to be buying cheap stocks, but that's small comfort. A little better comfort is that I won't be retiring for almost 40 years anyways (who am I kidding? I'll work until they pry my keyboard and mouse from my old crooked fingers...)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Eric's Law Of Extension Cords

I'm hereby laying claim to what shall hereafter be known as "Eric's Law".

Eric's Law: no matter how you wrap up or lay down an extension cord longer than 25', you will be able to pull it no more than half the length of the cord before it will form into some sort of knot that will not be able to get out simply by pulling harder.

1st Corollary to Eric's Law: this knot will happen such that the cord will reach just 5' less than you need.

2nd Corollary to Eric's Law: You will pull harder anyways, thereby making the knot worse.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

MSU is ranked!

MSU is ranked in the top 25 (19 or 23, depending on which poll you read)! Like every year where this event marks the peak of our team's performance before we badly screw up our season, I'm going to be getting my drinks in this week.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Random Stuff

It's been a while since I posted anything, so I thought I would throw together some random stuff:

- As of last Tuesday, we are officially in second trimester territory. Only two more trimesters to go!

- Why must my fantasy football team suck SOOOOO hard this year? I'm in dead last in our league with a 0-4 record and the lowest point total of any team. At the beginning of the season it was all injuries, but now its just horrible performances by my top picks. F#$king A!

- MSU's D looked weak against the spread offense again on Saturday. The good news is we won't face that again until the UofM game. The bad news is that we will face it during the UofM game. One good thing was that Hoyer looked better this week. Almost all of the missed passes were the receiver's doing bone headed things (this is football, not volleyball you idiots!).

- I can't believe UofM won that game against Wisconsin! 19-0 at the half and they manage to somehow to get 27 unanswered points? And then for Wisconsin to lose because they didn't line up correctly on the line of scrimmage?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Heroically Annoy Me

Heroes is really starting to annoy me. I don't ask much of a sci-fi show, but I expect you at least keep them logically consistent for at least the duration of an episode.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD If you haven't seen the latest episode of Heroes, stop reading!

Did anyone but me notice the huge gaping plot hole in the first episode of the season? The plot (as drilled into us by the constant references to the butterfly effect), was supposed to be as follows:

1) Future Peter comes back in time and shoots his brother Nathan.
2) Future Peter talks Claire out of coming to help her Dad.
3) Since Claire now doesn't go and help her Dad, she is at home when Sylar shows up and gets her powers when he is not supposed to.

OK, except for the fact that if Peter never came back, wouldn't the exact same thing have happened?

1) Claire is at home. Sylar shows up and gets her powers.

How would that NOT be the future?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rivalry E-Cards

http://www.bergwood.net/#/e-cards

(Warning: Allstate advertisments are part of the deal).

My favorites are:

"I'd like to tell you things will get better, but they won't"

"Maybe you should find something else to do with your Saturdays, like macrame"

"Sorry you had no reason to high-five on Saturday"

"Remember Saturday? When you lost? It still makes me laugh"

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Election Projections Done Right

If you've ever wanted up to the minute electoral college results, this is the site for you:

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/

Friday, September 19, 2008

Tub vs. Can

Although my answer has lost in the "Tub vs. Can" poll, I simply think most everyone is wrong:) To prove my point, I turn to the Oracle of All Things: Google.

Searching for "tub of frosting" on Google returns about ~1,700 web pages.

In contrast, searching for "can of frosting" on Google returns more than 6,800 web pages.

Google is always right:)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'm Almost a Winner

Yesterday I played in my first Texas Hold'em tournament in a while and managed to come in 2nd place. Sure it was only 9 people and I only won $20 bucks, but its still nice to know that I am more of a winner than 7 other people at least:)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Pray We Stop Something

Sorry, I'm having a cynical day today. Please excuse this post in advance.

Detroit News: Crowd prays to heal Detroit's economy

I'll never understand stuff like this. What exactly are these people hoping God will do? Magically create money out of nowhere? Remove voter free will and cause a majority to elect non-corrupt officals? Or remove free will from investors so that they pour money into Detroit related projects even if that isn't the best use for the money?

If you're going to pray, at least pray for things where God isn't removing our abilty to make decisions, OK?

Friday, September 12, 2008

NFL Teams invest where it makes sense

NY Times: N.F.L. Salaries: Believe in the Blind Side

Interesting bunch of factoids about NFL salaries.

Did you know that the left tackle on most teams makes more money on average than any other player on the field other than the QB?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

New favorite song

Heard this on 89x this afternoon. Its officially my new favorite song of the week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_WwsA_Ky-k

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Heartbeat

Today Sue went in for the first checkup with her doctor.

First off: just so no one is concerned, everything is going perfectly well.

The big news was that we heard the heartbeat for the first time today.

I don't quite know how to describe it. To say it was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard would have been an understatement (yea, I know that sounds sappy; Bite me).

My thoughts went something like this:

"That's my baby!"

"Holy crap that heart is beating fast. Thank God Sue told me that was normal or I would seriously be freaking out"

"I love you Sue for doing this with me"

"I think it would be hard for me to be more proud or happy than I am right now"

"Wait! I was listening to that. Don't turn that off!"

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Look up price of your home

A co-worker pointed me to this site that lets you look up the current value of your home, as well as rough values for all of the houses around you.

http://www.zillow.com/homes/map

According to this site, our house is down 11.5% since I bought it!!!!!! FUUUUCKKK!!! That makes me almost as angry as MSU's performance last Saturday.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Give McCain Credit

You have to give John McCain and his team credit: they know how to pick a VP.

NYT: John McCain selects Sarah Palin, the Republican Governor of Alaska

Sarah Palin has a lot of good things going for her as far as the Republicans are concerned:

1) She's a woman: What better way to try and drive those woman who are angry that Hilary Clinton did not get the nomination to the Republicans?

2) She is young: She's only 44 and will probably help to balance the criticism that McCain is as old as the dirt itself.

3) She's not in Washington: Alaska is about as far from Washington as you can get.

4) She is a staunch anti-corruption and anti-pet project crusader: You remember that Bridge to Nowhere in Alaska that everyone constantly made fun of? She was the one who cancelled the project. She has also been helping with the investigation into Ted Stevens (he's being investigated for letting oil companies pay for some construction on a house he owns).

Thursday, August 28, 2008

1984

I just finished 1984, THE classic book about what society would be if we gave up all our personal freedom.

First thought: It's fucking depressing.

I mean, I knew it was going to be. You can't write a book about "big brother" watching literally everything without it being depressing. But still...

Its the sort of book that makes you want to immediately go out and yell "FUCK THE GOVERNMENT" at the top of your lungs just because you can.

1984 is worth the price of admission solely for it's take on how government works (even government today), why we need a giant military complex in the US, and why privacy is important even if you don't have anything to hide.

Monday, August 25, 2008

College Football this Saturday

College football officially starts this Saturday. I was curious what the readers think about MSU and UofM's chances this year.

My predictions:

MSU - 7-5 would be a good season. I just can't see us beating Cal, OSU, Wisconsin, or UofM. Beating any of those would be a huge coup for us. Penn State is the big question. Last year's game was fantastic. I hope for the same this year.

UofM - 9-3. UofM will probably lose to OSU and perhaps Wisconsin. UofM is harder to figure out, since they have a new QB, RB, and totally new offensive system. Their game with Wisconsin in week 4 will be the big test. If they really do have a working spread offense, they could beat every team they see. UofM still has the defense to beat any team.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Bob injuried

Poor Bob is injured. The vet is not 100% sure what is wrong with him, but he seems to have hurt something around his left shoulder. He can't seem to jump or climb stairs. Even laying down seems to really hurt the poor guy. Yesterday I watched him try to lay down three times before he finally found a way to do it without hurting himself:(

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Countdown to Babies

Yesterday I wrote the little countdown application you see to the right. I'm pretty proud of it, even if it is only 30 or so lines of code (of course, just as I was going to post this I noticed the count was off by a day).

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

McCain + Wedding Crashers

Last weekend Sue and I were catching up on some Netflix movies when I had a truly horrible thought:

Is it possible that we as a nation could REALLY elect a guy who was, even for the briefest moment, in The Wedding Crashers?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Olympic Fever

I have Olympic fever in a bad way.

And not just for the big name events like gymnastics or swimming. I love watching all these different events that I've never heard of otherwise. Yesterday I was enthralled by rowing. The day before it was volleyball. The day before that I was watching water polo (did you know they can't touch the bottom for 8 minutes straight?) I didn't even know there was a event called steeplechase, but it sure is cool to watch! Even ping pong and badminton can hold my attention for a while.

Anyone else like to watch the less hyped events?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

Cinderella Under Arrest

CNN: Cinderella, others arrested in Disneyland labor protest



Wow. Seeing that would be a really good way to screw up a kid for life.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

No post in a while

I've been lazy about posting the last week.

Sue and I went to Chicago Sunday through Tuesday with Sue's family to see the sights and big city. It was fun, although a little more walking then I like:) Pictures will be coming soon.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

America Today

This is exactly how I feel our foreign policy has been the run the last 8 years:

http://overcompensating.com/posts/20080714.html

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

3OH!3

Heard this song on 89x last night.



We have to all agree to hate this band right now for two very good reasons:

1) "3OH!3" IS NOT A FUCKING NAME! That looks like you had a seizure while typing your band name in.

2) Just on principal, I have to hate any band that comes up with, and then has the balls to release a song with, the following lyrics: "Do the Helen Keller & talk with your hips" (at about 2 minutes in).

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

89x online radio is odd

I've taken to listening to 89x online lately. One of the joys of working at home is that no one cares how I waste my bandwidth;)

One of the odd things about the online feed is that they don't play commercials in the streaming feed with one exception: a single Esurance commercial over and over again. Note to advertisers: hearing one commercial over and over and over again tends to make me HATE your product, not run out and buy it. Other than that anomaly, all they play during that time is loops of some of their theme music. So now I hate both their theme music and that commercial.

Also, you never realize how many commercials they play on the radio until you are listening to nothing but theme music for the entire time. It's sad that I would actually PREFER commercials.

Does anyone know why they don't just play their regular commercials during that otherwise dead Internet air time? I can't even figure out how they pay for keeping the stream running at this point.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Alcohol Makes Me a Bad Friend

On Sunday I introduced everyone to "Wandering Eric".

Wandering Eric is what I call the guy I become when I drink in social settings where I don't know everyone. The guys at Mike's bachelor party had already met Wandering Eric. I think it was a first for the ladies though.

Wandering Eric looks and sounds just like me, except that he has the attention span of a 2 year old and even less fear of other people than me. He wanders from conversation to conversation and injects questions or statements with no mind about whether he knows any of the people talking; in fact, he tends to favor people he's never met.

As a side note: Wandering Eric tends to throw up on the ride home from the 2+ beers he had to finish while playing that last game of Beer Pong (of which he is the greatest player ever!).

Sunday, August 03, 2008

The Deep V


I came across this ad the other day. Apparently American Apparel is now selling Douchebag neck t-shirts. And they got the perfect model for it too. Doesn't that guy look exactly like what you think of when you think "douchebag"? Except for the purple shirt one. That one screams, "I just came out".

Actually, most of those pictures scream that...

Saturday, August 02, 2008

McCain reaching now

Watch this ad from John McCain (particularly the first 5 seconds):

McCain: Celebrity Ad

Are you kidding me with this shit? Celebrity? That's an attack point now?

Worse, it then cuts to pictures of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to get the implication: "Obama is just like these celebrities. Any day now pictures of him in a skirt with no underwear, drinking Red Bull at a party, and then crashing into a paparazzi's car will appear in the tabloids."

What worse, they don't even deny that was the point. When asked whether the campaign intended to imply that Obama is as "frivolous and irresponsible" as Spears or Hilton, McCain spokesman Brian Rogers replied, "I think that's exactly what we've been saying."

In the old days, you would have at least had the good sense to pretend you had no idea that it was bad to link him with those two. To come right out and say it like that? That's impressively evil.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Who doesn't know what a safe word is?

2 people in my poll voted that they didn't know what a "safe word" was, so as a public service I give you the definition below. If you're ever in a situation where you need a safe word, now you'll know. And if GI Joe taught us anything, it's that knowing is half the battle (the other half involves violence):

A safeword is a codeword or series of codewords that are sometimes used in BDSM for a submissive (or 'bottom') to unambiguously communicate their physical or emotional state to a dominant (or 'top'), typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some safewords are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a reduced level of intensity.

Safewords are agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants. Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.

In BDSM, the safeword is generally used so that the 'bottom' can scream "no, stop", etc. as much as he/she wants without really meaning it, and still have a way of indicating a serious desire that the scene stops. Accordingly, in theory a safeword is usually a word that the person would not ordinarily say during sex, such as red light, big tree, Rumba, scrambled eggs, Alabama, aardvark, or rhubarb.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Good article on the economics of farming

If you're an econ geek like I am, you'll find this one really interesting.

The Illogic of Farm Subsidies, and Other Agricultural Truths

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Baby FTW!

So for those few who don't know already:

Sue and I are having a baby!!!!!!

That's right; Soon there will be a little Eric or Susanne running around our house. Imagine a kid as smart as me and with as much common sense as Sue:) He/she could rule the world!

This comic pretty much sums up my thought about the miracle of the birthing process:

http://xkcd.com/387/

Here is our current baby FAQ:

Are you excited?

Are you crazy? Of course we're excited! We're having a F#@KING BABY!!!!!

How far along are you?

Six weeks as of today.

And that would make you due?

We are currently expecting our bundle of joy on or about March 24th.

Do you know what you are having?

Its a little early for that sort of thing. Ask again at the end of September and we may have a better answer.

Do you have names picked up?

Negotiations are at a delicate crossroads and are ongoing at this time.

Was this an "accident"?

No. Sue and I have been trying for a few months now.

Are you going to get a minivan?

Sue has made me swear that we will NEVER get a minivan. Luckily, our Mustang actually includes the extra latches for the baby seat so we should be OK on that front for a while.

Are you going to change/disappear once you have the baby?

We will do our best not to. In fact, you will probably get sick of seeing us and the baby:) You'll want a nice quiet day where my kid isn't following us around asking "Why is the sky blue?" or "Can we get ice cream?".

Monday, July 28, 2008

Sue's Birthday!

It's Sue's Birthday today!

Everyone call her and tell her how awesome she is as she crosses into her 30s.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe E3 Game Trailer

Saw today that they are making a Mortal Kombat game where you take on the characters from the DC universe. Which is all well and good I guess, expect that Superman is in the game.

Ummmm...ok, stupid question time, but how in the hell does Sub Zero (or anyone else from MK) hurt Superman? He's all impervisous to harm and stuff!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Nuke the Fridge

Remember a few month ago when we were making fun of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Especially that scene with the A-bomb and the fridge?

Well, it turns out we weren't the only ones: Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary both have entries for the phrase "Nuking the Fridge", used to describe the movie equivalent of "Jumping the Shark" in TV.

I especially like the definition from Urban Dictionary:

A colloquialism used to delineate the precise moment at which a cinematic franchise has crossed over from remote plausibility to self parodying absurdity, usually indicating a low point in the series from which it is unlikely to recover. A reference to one of the opening scenes of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which the titular hero manages to avoid death by nuclear explosion by hiding inside a kitchen refrigerator. The film is widely recognised by fans as a major departure from the rest of the series both in terms of content and quality.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Weekend soon!

I'm excited for this weekend. Luau on Saturday at Mike's (why does "luau" NEVER look right to me no matter how much I type it?), followed by Wicked on Sunday at MSU's Wharton Center (yea, yea, yea...I like musicals. SUCK IT BITCHES!)

Fuck it's taking forever to get here...

Stupid work. Why does work have to be all stressful and hard and stuff?!?!?!?!?!? Although since lunch all I have done is get a good buzz on, win 3 games of Wii bowling and called into a conference call. Luckily I was sober by then ;-)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Oil Prices

I've said before, everyone in the US should have to take a macroeconomics class. But lately I think that's not enough. People always seem to want a simple answer to every problem. Even if they understand that stuff is complex, they don't seem to want to think about it. They want to blame it on the first scapegoat they can so they can focus their anger and get their government to DO something.

Oil is the latest example of this; Everyone is on the "speculators are to blame" bandwagon. McCain, Obama, the media, everyone. Except for... oh...the government themselves!

NYT: Speculators Aren’t Driving Up Oil Prices, Report Says

And then there is the ever present drive to drill along the US coast. Now don't get me wrong, I'm actually in favor of it. But politicians would have you believe that if just started drilling today everything would go back to the way it was by the end of the week. But wait! Once again a government report would beg to differ:

http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/ae/otheranalysis/ongr.html

“The projections in the OCS access case indicate that access to the Pacific, Atlantic, and eastern Gulf regions would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas production or prices before 2030....Because oil prices are determined on the international market, however, any impact on average wellhead prices is expected to be insignificant."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Batman was Awesome

The Dark Knight was awesome. Heath Ledger's Joker stole the show. Dark and evil and a perfect psychopath. Scary stuff all the way around.



SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the movie, you want to stop reading now!



Paul and I were discussing the scene where the two ships are rigged to explode based on what the other ship did. Call me cynical, but I have trouble believing that both would do nothing. I just can't imagine that among 400+ passengers not one would stand up and turn that key in order to protect their....whatever (spouse, children, etc.). If it was just me on the boat, I like to think I couldn't pull that trigger. But to protect Sue, you can bet that I would have turned that key...

But I wonder what everyone else thinks they would have done. Obviously its impossible to say for sure, but what is your gut reaction?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Going to see Batman tonight

Eric and I are going tonight since I had to work all weekend. I am very excited. Christian Bale is hot and awesome and I have loved him since this:







The Best movie ever!! With a lot of hot boys! Christian Bale is a triple threat! Mmm!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

30 days to Here

And this makes 30 (days anyways). If you took the "miss 2 posts" square in your office pool, congrats!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Once More, My Nerdiness is your Entertainment

Astrodome Hit With Code Violations

When I read this headline my first thought was "I wonder what sort of computer code they use to run the Astrodome?"

Sigh...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Dr. Horrible



Neil Patrick Harris? Awesome.

Combined with Joss Whedon writing and directing? Awesome

In a musical? Trifecta baby!


Apparently Whedon was REALLY bored during the writers strike and came up with this idea for a supervillian musical.

Important Note (from their FAQ):

ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!

"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:

ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Ann Arbor Art Fair

We went out to the Ann Arbor Art Fair today. Just like every year since we have been back, we go, walk around for four hours and don't buy a thing.

Part of the issue is that at the Ann Arbor fair, the typical painting (the only art I'm usually looking for) starts in the $800-$1200+ range. That's just tough for me to justify, no matter how much I may like an artist's work. To make up for that, whenever I find something that really speaks to me for some reason, I do try to actually tell the artist. I like to think they find that almost as nice as getting paid for their work.

I'm always curious why paintings are so expensive. I can imagine its something like the market for jewelry: I don't sell very often, so I need to make a fair amount on each sale to justify all of my fixed costs. Combine that with the fact that there is a very limited supply of each artist's work and I guess I can understand it. Still, I always question if asking for half as much would help you sell more than twice as many.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

South park vs reality

Compare these videos:





For me, the South Park one is really funny; the second (original) is just plain creepy.

Its not just me right?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Fun at Showboat!

















Eric and I went to Chesaning Showboat again this year in my hometown yesterday. We went with my sisters and my friend Mo, her hubby Tim, and Tim's brother Phil. It was tons of fun! Chesaning actually gets good bands now.

The opening band was the Sick puppies who were awesome!! I think they put on the best show of the night. I really enjoyed their music. Plus they had a hot woman bassist that all the boys wanted a piece of. She was dressed in black and red goth garb, yeah for ladies in rock!!

Next was Finger 11, who were pretty good. I really do like their music, but the show they put on was really mellow. The lead singer was clearly drunk which was funny. The drummer was very entertaining too, he did little tricks and poses.

The last group was Seether, which Eric and I love. They put on a pretty good show as well, but again the show was very mellow compared to their albums. It would be upbeat for a few songs but then back to extreme mellowness. All in all it was a good show. The funny thing was that Seether who is a goth, alternative rock band and they decorations were icicle Christmas lights, seemed a bit pansy.

We had a lot of fun and got to see our great friend's Mo and Tim and as an added bonus Phil! We wish they lived closer. Wisconsin is just far enough away. Afterwards of course we went to the Family Tavern (bar) in Oakley, the even smaller town next to Chesaning, for $4 pitchers of Amberbock! Oh yeah! Cheap beer rocks!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Miss USA Falls Again

Didn't I just get done making fun of this last year?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

3 year to be less useful

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-07-12/

There was a time when I thought about getting a MBA degree; I minored in business after all. I'm actually really glad I minored in it. Micro and macro economics were probably the single best classes I took in college in terms of broadening my outlook a lot on how the world actually works (as anyone who's heard my long ramblings about the role of government in regulating pollution or how cutting taxes to increase growth is a good idea in the short term but a horrible long term idea). Hey, don't roll your eyes! I like this stuff!

Still, I think I'm firmly on the tech side of the equation now. Management is for other people. I make a horrible manager. For one thing, organization is not my strong point. Two, like most true engineers/geeks I tend to flip that bit in my head that records "You are an idiot" pretty easily. That makes it tough to manage other people without sounding like a dick:)

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Get Smart

Sue and I saw Get Smart last night. Funny movie. Steve Carell is hilarious.

And when did Anne Hathaway become hot?! Lots of leg for the guys who like that, although when Steve Carrell kissed her it did feel a little weird (and not the good weird in my happy place).

Then there is this shot which is so quick you can't even really see it in the movie. But leave it to the internet to get a still shot of it up a day after the movie is out. Apparently the devil wears sexy underpants!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Wilhelm Scream

I was reading on the Freakonomics blog the other day about the "Wilhelm Scream", one of the the most repeated stock sound effect in movies. Watch this video for a bunch of examples:

Thursday, July 10, 2008

One missle too many

NYT: In an Iranian Image, A Missile Too Many

Scroll to the bottom of this article for an amusing look at why you can't always trust pictures, even when they appear in the LA Times.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

401(k) blues

God damn it... I got my 401(k) quarterly statement today and man did it suck. It looked something like this (numbers made up):

Totval value: X
Total deposits: $1000
Change in share values: -$1050
New total value: X - $50

SON OF A BITCH!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Bisexual Music

I know its been out for forever, but I can't believe I haven't commented on Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs

I love this song!

Any music that encourages bisexual curiosity in women is automatically "awesome" in my book. Its a shame more music doesn't take this tack.

Note the important thing about this song is the curiosity. I don't like lesbians. They're useless to me. I like ladies who are into dudes but are OK with occasionally making out with a girl if they are drunk enough or its their man's birthday:)

Monday, July 07, 2008

Yet another missed post

Dang it this whole posting every day thing is HARD!

I've got nothing to post today. Nothing at all. Maybe tomorrow.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Off to Ohio

Had a lot of fun at Mike and Joyce's yesterday. And lets just forget that I cried out like a girl when I was zapped by Jay's machine (did that sound dirty to anyone else?)

Sue and I are off to Ohio today for my nephew's birthday. Should be fun, except for the whole "I have to get up at 5:00am to drive down" crap.

On the plus side, I'm up early enough for McDonald's breakfast! mmmmm......McGriddles.....so bad for me and soooo delicious...drool.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Darwin Still Hard at Work

AP: Teen Decapitated at Six Flags amusement park

I would feel sorry for the kid, but really its just natural selection hard at work. Any retard stupid enough to have "hopped two fences and wandered into a restricted area where he was decapitated by the Batman roller coaster" really shouldn't be reproducing.

I like this part especially:

"All authorities know is that the teen hopped the fences to take the shortest route to the Batman ride from where he was..."

Fucking genius.

By the way: how the hell do you not notice the roller coaster car barreling at you at 50 miles an hour? Wouldn't you at least think, "hey, I wonder what all these big metal tubes are for? Maybe I should look around BEFORE I walk under them."

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Real Evolution in a Lab

Biology was always my worst science subject (physics for the win!). But this was just too interesting not to post:

arstechnica.com : Tracking adaptation as bacteria evolve

A scientist with way more patience then I could ever muster has been tracking the evolution of 12 strains of E. Coli in his lab since 1988. He has now had over 44,000 generations play out.

The most fascinating thing was a change in one of the cell lines at around 33,000 generations:

The bacteria are growth-constrained by low levels of glucose, and most lines have evolved so that they burn through the glucose as quickly as possible, then wait for the next daily infusion. About 33,000 generations in, however, one line of bacteria did something else entirely: it began to digest the large amounts of citrate present in the media. This is more startling than it sounds, as E. coli is sometimes defined by its inability to metabolize citrate.


So now we have real scientific proof that a trait can evolve in a organism that wasn't present before through only mutation. That's a HUGE deal for the evolution camp.

Makes me want to run out and buy this shirt from xkcd.com:

Science.  It works, bitches.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Californication

(Can you tell its summer and we are trying out different shows to fill the NetFlix void?)

Another show we just finished watching is Californication.

Another show that I just love. Its witty, dry, angry, and sexy; full of characters that hate themselves, ruin their own lives, but always have something interesting to say. Watch it. You'll love it.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Diary of a call girl

New show to watch on Showtime: Secret Diary of a Call Girl

One word to describe it: SEXY!



First off, we all know about my fetish for British girls, especially when they say "knickers". That's just plain hot.

Second, its about a call girl who actually likes sex and is just happy to be paid to do it! DOUBLE HOT!!!

And finally, there is all the dressing up sexy, dirty talk, and generally hot interactions with the clients.

Oh how I love this show.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Missing Post

Yea, I missed posting yesterday. Sue and I atteneded one of my cousin's weddings yesterday and I just plain forgot in the hurry to get there on time.

It was a a great wedding. And we learned about a new and interesting group call The Vitiaim String Quartet. They are a string quartet (duh) that perform covers of various pop songs. For example, the parents walked down the aisle to the sound of Guns and Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" by a string quartet. At dinner we listened to several DMB songs covered by them as well.
Their music is available on iTunes if you are interested in checking it out.

UPDATE: They also have their own web site: http://www.vitaminrecords.com/web/page.asp?pgs=products&catid=20

Friday, June 27, 2008

Parents and God

It finally happened today. I was talking to my Mom and for whatever reason, the subject came up of whether I believe in God.

Ah crap...

I told that I'm just not sure. Even that (which is probably widely optimistic in describing my outlook) caused my Mom to pause for several seconds before laying down the "you know you won't be going to heaven if you don't believe" speech.

Ah crap...

I don't know where I am. But I do know that people who are SO DAMN SURE make me uncomfortable. Maybe because I'm jealous. Maybe because I question how anyone can be so sure of something like that. Maybe because I used to be that person.

BAH...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Economic Stimulus Check

We FINALLY got our economic stimulus check this week. Apparently the fact that I mailed in a check for what I owed as opposed to using direct deposit combined with the fact I always send my tax return in around April 12th ("but...but...It's my money!") means we were last on the list of people to get a check.

Since we owed a bunch, we got $1200 bucks. I'm trying to come up with something cool to buy with this. Any suggestions?

Things I already thought of and rejected:

1) Bribe Mike to steal me a penguin from the zoo - Penguins are dead to me thanks to their association with a certain team from Pittsburg.

2) Stuff for you - I'm WAYYYYY too selfish for that:)

3) Knight Rider GPS - Cool, but automatically disqualified for its association with "the Hoff".

4) Some sort of canon I can use to scare childern off the lawn - and maybe get them to turn their damn radio's down.

Come on readers! Think!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

One of my Crazies

Sue and I have always joked that the way to stay together is to expose the other person to your crazy a little bit at a time. Below is an example of one of my crazies that I managed to hide from Sue for a few years.

That's right. At least in the comfort of my own home, I nearly always sort them out into equal sized piles before eating them. If they don't add up to even numbers, I'll eat them one at a time until they are equal numbers. Then, I will eat one from each color until they are all gone; repeat from the bag as long as I can.

Sue finds it hilarious that even if she messes the piles all up, I will inevitably resort them before eating again even though it makes no sense why I do this:)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Corrupting Youth

Fun story: Last weekend Sue's mom and step dad flew out to Vegas, so we volunteered to keep Sue's two sisters with us for the weekend.

Of course, I also got roped into PC repair duty (it happens. I'm sure whenever anyone has a sick penguin, they bring it to Mike). We ran to Best Buy to buy a few things for the PC and while we were there, Sue and I picked up the latest Seether disc. Being the inpatient folk that we are, we popped it into the CD player on the way home to listen to it.

The first three songs play on the drive home. All are pretty tame and I'm not really thinking too much about the lyrics when the fourth song starts.

And now the funny part:

We've just gotten off the freeway. The first verse is pretty quiet and we've come to stop waiting to turn. Suddenly the chorus of the fourth song starts up. The lyrics are something like this:

"FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME! Dig it up and whore me out. FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME!"

Even better: We didn't think about the fact that the chorus would repeat again in about 1 minute later:)

Even even better: Our car stereo has had an issue for years where sometimes the volume knob does the OPPOSITE of what you want it do. When the second verse started, this was one of those times;)

Monday, June 23, 2008

iPhone Geek

Konrad needs one of these for all his lady friends...


http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/ladies/a581/

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Girls LIKE to be treated that way

NewScientist: Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls

First off: You just know the guys who set up this study were just dumped for some guy on a motorcycle or some asshole in a band.

Second off: Apparently I'm 1/3 evil.

From the article:

The [evil] traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism...People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.



Narcissism? Check:)

But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."



Note to self: Try being slightly more evil and see what happens. I'll need do some charting of course to see if it works. And a control of some sort. Where did I put my evil copy of Excel and that good twin again...

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Work Work Work

It's been a while since I last bitched about work. I'm a little afraid you all think that I have this perfect job where I am stress free, working in my underwear at home, making a bunch of money, and then shut it all off whenever I want.

Sadly, that about as far away from the truth as you can get without approaching from the other side.

Like any job, I have good days and bad days. Lately it seems like I have WAY more bad days then good though. And it all boils down to one reason:

I fucking hate Matt.

Matt is the sort of developer that makes every other developer want to cock punch him...repeatedly...with a 2x4....that's on fire. Matt is one of the only people on Earth that given to chance to kill him without anyone finding out, I would really do it.

Its not that Matt isn't smart; oh how I wish it was that simple. Instead, Matt is a really smart guy who has the managerial skills of a rabid bear and the social skills of 3rd grader.

Good example: Yesterday I had a conversation with Matt that went something like this:

Matt: I think we should rename everything in the project to use this format < some technical garbage >

Me: We could I guess. I think this other format is simpler though, and we already have a bunch of code that uses it.

Matt: Really? Are you sure you we shouldn't just use my naming convention.

Me: Yes really. The current names are fine.

Matt: <long pause> OK. I'll ask some other people and we can talk about it later.

Translation: I don't like your answer, so I'm going to change the spec anyways and force you to change everything later.

And this is how it is with every decision on the project. Matt is one of those guys that can't let stand any decision that wasn't the one he would have made, even if the decision is really fine in the grand scheme of things. Things like naming internal tools, internal code layout, table formats: everything has to be "Matt's way" or it is wrong.

I fucking hate Matt.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Blogging

My lack of blogging lately has made me angry. Angry and bitter that I can't be more funny/clever on a regular basis. So once again, here I am pledging to write one blog every day for 30 days. We all know its a lie. But play along for a while. Maybe start a pool about how long I can really write a blog a day. Maybe encourage me. Whatever turns you on.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Creepy with a capital C

Custom Creature Taxidermy - Fantasy



WTF! Taxidermy isn't creepy enough already? We had to creepy it up some more?

<shivers uncontrollably>

That is just plain f$%ked up. Who on this earth would want to create those sorts of things as a job?

And this from the website:

"This artist deals with death, in what is considered by most, an unconventional manner. She does not view a dead animal as disgusting or offensive. She feels that all creatures exhibit beauty in death, as well as in life, and pays homage to them by reincarnating them in her works of art."

I see. So the way you express the beauty of their death is to rearrange and mix all their parts with the parts of several other animals into something straight out of a Stephen King novel?

Fucking weird.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Lack of blogging

There has been a severe lack of blogging lately, and I have only me to blame. We've had a whole bunch of interesting things going on to. We've just been too lazy to write anything.

Quick run down:

* Worked a ton of hours
* Had Paul here for several days of Wii playing and general guy time.
* Went to the Detroit Electronic Music Festival.
* Baked to 350 degrees at a Tiger's game
* Started watching Big Love
* Realized I NEVER want 3 wives
* Offered Sue and her two sisters to Jay in return for Jenn and a pair of mules at Joyce's birthday

And that's just what I can remember off the top of my head.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Cool game (not pitiful attempt to cover Penguins shame)

Want to see if you can balance the budget better than the fat-cats and slim-cats in Warshington? Here's your flash-based chance:

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/features/budget_hero/

Thursday, June 05, 2008

GO the WINGS!!!


Woot! They did it and won the Stanley Cup! I love hockey, ecspecially when Detroit or MSU wins!!!


Monday, June 02, 2008

Sex! (and the City)

Sue and I went and saw Sex and the City this weekend. I really owed her for Indiana Jones, plus the 100 other action movies I have taken her too without any girly movies to offset.

First off, I was one of ten men in the whole packed theatre. Seriously. And as a man if you have never been in a room with 150 women vs. ten guys, let me just tell you it can be a little scary. I was worried I would be clawed to death if I laughed at the wrong moment.

All in all it was an enjoyable movie. Lots of girl power moments of course, but I laughed plenty and left thinking it was just like the TV show (which I liked), but an hour longer. Sadly, it did have one naked penis shot that I could have lived without. And what can only be described as the fakest tits I have ever seen ("um, aren't those supposed to, you know, move and stuff?").

Also: Sue thought my poll from this weekend was sexiest, so I've added one for the ladies as well.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Fellatio to Hilter

I found this fun game the other day while trolling around slashdot.org (which by the way has the geekiest site name ever). Basically, it finds the click path between any two articles in Wikipedia as of March 3rd, 2008. According to the guy you wrote this application, it takes an average of 4.573 clicks to reach any article in Wikipedia from anywhere else.

For example, the link path between "fellatio" and "Hilter" is

Fellatio-> Condom->2003->Human shield->Hilter

Amusing to say the least;)

Saturday, May 31, 2008

How to break a condom

http://arstechnica.com/journals/science.ars/2008/05/21/robo-gigolo-discloses-the-nature-of-condom-failure

Durex scientists built a sex robot to try to figure out why condoms break. The article actually has a picture of it too!

Take note! This is the important part: Their conclusion was the only way to really break a condom is to use one without enough lube. Yet another great reason to use plenty of lube.

The weirdest thing about this article is that it mentioned that they figured out the issue based on condoms that people had returned. What sort of sick, sick person saves a used broken condom and then returns it to the manufacturer? Who the hell are these people?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Sucky Movie

Paul, Sue, and I all went and say Indiana Jone and the Temple of the Crystal Skull last Friday. As you can guess from the title of this blog, our experience was less than stellar.

It sucked. It sucked for a whole host of reasons. More than I can even count.

1) Physics. Seriously. I don't ask much from my action movies. All I ask is that you be consistent. You know; if something is so magentic that when I throw it in the air it shoots across the room, it should be that way when it is in my pocket as well.

2) Monkeys: Yes, that's right. Monkeys attack Nazis, and only Nazis. Just saying that out loud should be enough to let you know something about this movie.

3) Guns vs. a Whip: How the fuck do a bunch of people with guns not kill a dude with a whip?

4) Generally bad script: Its not even that acting was that bad. The script was horrible. A barrage of one liners followed by huge elaborate scenes built around those one liners.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Up North Photos

FYI: I've uploaded all our pictures from the Up North trip last weekend to my myspace account.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy, happy, happy

Happy anniversary to us!!

Today we celebrate 7 years as man and wife. Go us!! I love you more and more everyday Eric!!!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Quote of the Day

Sue: "You're my sugar daddy!"

Me: "I'm not your sugar daddy. At best, I may be your Splenda daddy."

Monday, May 05, 2008

Summer Tan Lines

Just so everyone is prepared when they see me in shorts this summer:)


Friday, May 02, 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Not the Bradys

This post requires one of those warning labels that Konard posted last month:



Not the Bradys XXX Trailer (NSFW)

What is really scary is that this is not just a funny trailer someone whipped up. Its a honest to God full length porn movie!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Wikipedia Editors Never Been Laid

I was looking at the Wikipedia article for foreplay yesterday because of this xkcd comic, and I laughed out loud when I read the following needed a citation.

Stimulation can be achieved by mouth, hands, sex toys like dildos or vibrators, or common household objects like feathers or ice cubes [citation needed]


I was sorely tempted to add "[5]: Any porn ever made" as the citation:)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tournament of Hotties Winner

You may recall a post last month about a "Tournament of Hotties". Well, they have a winner:

Tournament of Hotties Champion - Hayden Panettiere

What? WHAT????

Don't get me wrong. I like a hot chick who wears a cheerleader outfit in a sci-fi show as much as the next geek. But COME ON!

I'm sorry, but if I had to choose between Hayden Panettiere and, say, Elisha Cutbert or Eva Longoria or even Adriana Lima, Hayden Panettiere would be given the highest number from my "take a number for sex" device (I'd still do her of course. I just wouldn't want to waste my best stuff on her).

Also, what the fuck is that picture of her licking the Stanley Cup? That's not hot (note: picture of her licking a woman's clothed boob near the bottom: HOT!)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Kroger Variety Hour

Variety Pies

I was shopping around Kroger today and I came across this sign.

Somehow I immediately imagined a TV show where pies perform various song, dance, and talent routines.

And then I thought, "that's the dumbest thing you have ever thought of".

And then I thought, "Is it? Or is it the most delicious thing you have ever thought of!"

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

BLOG, part 2

Another blog of our weekend adventures. Sunday night we went to see My Chemical Romance at The Fillmore (formerly The State Theater) in Detroit. It was freakin awesome! They put on a great show! They remind me of Smashing Pumpkins and that is why I love them!! Of course I think the lead singer Gerard Way is a cutie so I didn't mind staring at him all night. He is very animated when he performs too. We had main floor seats but we stood in the section that did not involve moshing. Why do people mosh? It looked very painful and idiotic. Anytime your junk and head are in immediate danger is not a good time!! But I digress...

It was a lot of fun and they played all of my favorite songs. Eric and I dressed in our favorite black clothes so we could blend in ;) And we were not the oldest people there. There were quite a few people are age that went to see the concert plus all of the parents that took there kids. Plus we got to drink too!

We also met one of the coolest and cutest 7 year olds ever! I hope my kids are like him. His mom took him to the concert because he loves MCR. He was dressed in all black with a white and black neck tie. His mom said he is very smart and very artistic and he just started listening to the band on his own. He started listening to the Ramones when he was 5 and he is an up and coming talented artist.

BLOG!!

I couldn't think of a title, sue me!

Eric and I have had an action packed weekend so I am writing 2 blogs to recap! Friday night we were bored and went to dinner and a movie. We saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" with Jason Segel, one of our favorite actors from one of the greatest shows ever, "How I Met Your Mother". It also has Mila Kunis from "That 70's Show"; we are glad she got another job. It also had many other funny actors and actresses in it.

This was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while. It was funnier than Super Bad and I would say a tad funnier than Knocked Up! Go see it! And watch How I Met Your Mother too! You will not be sad!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fanboys

Is it wrong that I both want to see this movie and BE these peoples?



And why must Star Wars and Star Trek fans always fight? Shouldn't our nerdiness bring us together instead of break us apart?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Back home

Nicole Wedding Party


Hello all,

Eric and I just got back from our friend Nicole's wedding in Houston, Texas. That is another state we have visited. The weather was beautiful. Most of the weekend it was sunny and 70's. Mmmm warmth... We had a lot of fun. Mike, Joyce, Kien and Courtney were able to go to the wedding too so that was even better.

Eric and I rented a car and got to drive a Pontiac G6 all weekend. I loved the car; it had a sun roof! Of course, Mike copied us and rented the same car ;) I guess it is popular for rentals.

Houston looked like Michigan. Trees everywhere. They had lots of Mexican restaurants though. They say that everything is bigger in Texas, except for their road signs!!! Argh. I also must say that they end parties too early. The wedding had to end at 10:00pm, what is that??? So of course we continued on at a local bar ;)

Here are our pics. Our camera died just before the reception so we are missing those and some of our pics are fuzzy so we need a new camera. Guess that will be our next purchase. Overall it was good food, lots of drinking, and good friends!!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Clintion Shooting in Church

Does anyone else read the headline for the following article and think it wasn't written very well:

Clinton: 'Not relevant' last time I went to church, fired gun

It sounds like they are questioning her about the last time she performed a drive by at a church:)

(Note: I stole the idea for this blog from Sue. I'm sorry)

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Daily Caffiene Protects the Brain

BBC News: Daily caffeine 'protects brain'

From the article:

Coffee may cut the risk of dementia by blocking the damage cholesterol can inflict on the body, research suggests. The drink has already been linked to a lower risk of Alzheimer's Disease, and a study by a US team for the Journal of Neuroinflammation may explain why.

Given how much caffiene I consume in a given day, it is possible that my brain will NEVER die. I imagine I'm going to end up like one of those talking heads in a jar from Futurama:)


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Things OK as long as they are Addictive and Dangerous

NY Times: Bill to Regulate Tobacco Moves Forward

So I'm perusing this article just to see what sorts of regulations they are planning on when I hit this golden nugget of a quote from John Dingell, a representative from my state:

Representative John D. Dingell, a Michigan Democrat, acknowledged that the bill was not perfect. “In a perfect world, we’d ban all cigarettes,” he said. “But the hard fact of the matter is that there are a lot of jobs depending on this. And more importantly, there are a lot of people out there who are addicted to this and they've got to have their fix.”

Apparently this guy is a complete dipshit.

First, he basically said that he is OK with dangerous products being released to people if jobs are on the line (asbestos isn't so bad, right?). Secondly, isn't that second part just a good reason to make every drug legal? After all, there are plenty of people who "got to have their fix" of crack everyday. Why don't we apply the same logic to that?

Monday, March 31, 2008

Wisconsin People are Obsessed with the Packers

I'm in class today helping my employer's education services group demo some new stuff we are doing to process forms. As an example, they downloaded the Wisconsin Income Tax form (see here).

Look at this screenshot I took of the bottom of the first page and tell me that is not just a little crazy.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Tournament of Hotties

If your like me and you don't care that much about basketball, you may find all this NCAA hype a little much. Luckily, there is another tournament going on that may be a bit more interesting to you ;)

subwaychatter.com: 2008 Tournament of Hotties

(Warning: Its not unsafe safe for work per say, but it does have a lot of pictures of scantly clad girls. Surf at your own risk. Also, the site provider Yahoo will randomly block the site every once in a while for using too much bandwidth.)

Here are my picks:

Movie Bracket:

ELISHA CUTHBERT v JESSICA BIEL - No contest. If I ever get around to building a sexbot, its going to look exactly like Elisha Cuthbert.

JESSICA ALBA v KATE BECKINSALE - Jessica Alba never really did it for me (except that scene with the whip in Sin City). Meanwhile, Kate Beckinsale was in Underworld as a bad ass vampire chick. HOTNESS.

Overall winner: Elisha Cuthbert

TV Bracket:

EVA LONGORIA v HAYDEN PANETTIERE - Tough one for me. Hayden Panettiere has that whole Sci-fi babe thing going for her, which is awesome in my book. On the other side, Eva Longoria is pure Latino hotness. Have to go with Eva on this one.

VANESSA MARCIL v STACEY KEIBLER - Honestly, I didn't have any idea who either of these women were. I had to look them both up. Vanessa Marcil is from Las Vegas, and Stacey Keibler is from the WWE. Neither really does anything for me, but if I have to vote I guess I would give it to Stacey Keibler.

Overall winner: Eva Longoria

Music Bracket:

JESSICA SIMPSON v CANDICE HILLEBRAND - No question here. Although I would demand that Jessica Simpson not ruin the sex by speaking.

SHAKIRA v CARRIE UNDERWOOD - Another tough one. I think Carrie Underwood is prettier overall, but Shakira has the hips and flexibility thing, not to mention the non-country music sound, so I'm giving it to her.

Overall winner: Jessica Simpson

Modeling Bracket:

GISELLE v ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - Just for being so pretentious as to have only one name, I'm giving it to Alessandra Ambrosio. Plus, I don't think that Giselle has the prettiest face.

ADRIANA LIMA v MARISA MILLER - Adriana Lima no question. I've had a huge crush on her ever since I first saw her in a Victoria Secrets ad!

Overall winner: Adriana Lima

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Bal En Blanc

Bal En Blanc kicked my ass this year. I feel like crap and just want to lie down and curse the sun for being so bright....

More to come later.

Friday, March 14, 2008

New Five Dollar bill

Look at all this pink and purple!

Five Dollar Bill

Our money sure is gay...

Monday, March 10, 2008

Cost of Medicine == Perceived Value

The Freakonomics blog has a fascinating blurb about a study on the placebo effect (by the way, this blog is really good most days if you like econ and/or understanding why people make the decisions they do . If you like that sort of thing, check it out).

NYTimes: More Expensive Placebos Bring More Relief

From the article:


The subjects were given an initial series of electric shocks and asked to rate the pain they felt after each shock. The subjects were then allowed to take a placebo pill that they were told was similar to codeine. In fact, the pill had no direct medical benefit at all. While half of the patients were told that their (false) treatment cost $2.50 per pill, the other half were told that their pill had been discounted to $0.10 per pill. They were then given a second series of electric shocks, and once again, asked about how much it hurt.

While 85 percent of the patients taking the $2.50 pill reported that the second set of shocks were less painful, only 61 percent of those taking the (identical!) $0.10 pill reported the shocks to be less painful. So the more expensive the pill, it seems, the larger its perceived effect — even when the pill actually has no medical effect!


Just goes to show how much the "you get what you pay for" mentality is ingrained in us.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

How do I contribute to America?

Like most states, Michigan allows drivers to select a custom license plate in order to benefit specific charities. Some of them make a lot of sense, like dontating to a children's fund, veteran's fund, or a fund to protect wildlife hbitat.

All well and good until I came across this one:

According to the Michigan Secretary of State, this plate raises funds for "Proud To Be American". Is anyone else confused?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Scarlett Johansson For Sale

Buy A Date With Scarlett Johansson

Every guy is thinking the same thing:

1) Scarlett Johansson is offically a whore.

2) I can think of all sorts of ways that she could...entice...a lot of money for this charity.

3) When she says you will be her "escort", is she talking about the sorts of "escort" services that advertise on CraigsList and the back of the Metro Times? (oh I do hope so)

4) How much do I have in my bank account again?

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Bad Idea

From The New York Times:

Fla. and Mich. Governors: Give Us Our Delegates

Florida and Michigan are demanding that either the DNC accept the results of their elections or pay to have them run a new election.

Now I know I am betraying my own state by saying this, but there is no way the DNC should give in to this pressure. Michigan and Florida both knew what the party rules said about moving the date of your primary. Hell, members from the state party helped draft and approve the rules!

The bottom line is they knew the consequences and they ignored them.

Change the rules for them now, and you can bet that in the next election both parties would have a full on revolt on their hands where every state would move their primaries forward knowing that the rules aren't going to be enforced anyways. That way leads to chaos.

Worse, you are really punishing Obama for following the rules the party set forth (no campaigning in these states, take your name off the ballot, etc). That just doesn't seem fair. It would be like changing the number of delegates that Rhode Island gets from 21 to 121 now that the election is over there.

Bottom line: It sucks my voice was not heard in the Democrat primary, but I don't blame the DNC. I blame my state legislature. You should too.