Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Lets see...What's in the news today?

Six dead after Calif. postal center shooting spree

What is it about sorting small envelopes for eight hours a day that makes people want to go on a rampage and kill all their co-workers? Seriously? Is it the federal holidays? Why the fuck DO I get Columbus day off anyways?

I think it must be the stamps. That weird saliva activated paste they use must cause you go completely ape shit if you sniff too much. Or perhaps it is just the shame of being fired from the USPS. I mean lets be serious for a moment: In order to be fired from this sort of job, you would have do something like shove a live badger into the sorting machine...in front of the boss...while making ethnic slurs...then rape the sadly mutilated, dead badger....everyday...for at least a year...probably two because you get the union to defend you for the first year.

Bush to Say 'America Is Addicted to Oil' in Talk

Thank you Captain Obvious! Why is this even news? I'm expecting the next headline on CNN to be "Bush to say 'Americans like candy' in Talk"

Hilton profit up 62 percent on room rate hikes

I'll let you insert your own joke here. Think of something clever, then show off by putting it in the comments. If it can somehow involve her little rat/dog, 50 bonus points!

Friday, January 27, 2006


Funny WoW Comic.


Actually, I just discovered this gamers comic today. It is GREAT!

3AM Ramblings

Warning: I read this all after I was finished and I cannot believe how much just flowed out of my fingers at 3:30. I had written the first paragraph below and I was wondering what I was going to type when it just started pouring out. And once it started, it could not be stopped. Sorry it jumps around a lot and is a bit heavy. If you want coherent and light, you should read something else:)

I'm in Iowa again this week validating some software we are writing. Because we are working second shift, my schedule has been completely f-ed up this entire week. I feel like I've been living like a vampire or something.

Like I said, it is about 3 in the morning here, so naturally rather than go to sleep like a rational person would, I feel the need to decompress by taking another deep look into my mind and the way that my brain works again.

<annoying game show announcer voice>Thaaaaaat's right folks. Its time to play.... WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? /clap Today's topic: regrets.
</annoying game show announcer voice>

Despite what I like to consider my very care-free outward appearance, I have a deep running hidden streak of regret of all sorts of previous actions in my life. Without revealing specifics:

1) Stupid/Mean things I have said to friends.
2) Stupid/mean things I have said to friends while drunk
3) Cheating on a girlfriend
4) Telling someone I loved them just to get a kiss
5) Kissing and telling
6) Fucking and telling
7) Putting friends into uncomfortable situations because of my actions
8) Using and discarding a very nice younger girl to go back to a girl who was completely wrong.
8) Leading on girls for attention
10) Being mean to someone just to get attention
11) Didn't believe someone who told me about a forced sexual experience.

And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head.

The worst thing about it is that most of the time I'm talking about things that happened 10 years ago. Why the fuck do I keep this guilt around for so long? When I finally do apologize for some of these things, the answer is usually, "Oh yeah, I had completely forgotten about that." So I'm carrying around this guilt and regret for nothing?! THANKS ASS!

But of course, for every rule like the above you need an exception. Mine is #8 & #11. I may never forgive myself for either one of those. sigh... I chatted with #8 semi-recently, and at least in her case I can positively say that my guilt is 100% deserved. I would say I am sorry again, but what's the use? It doesn't change that fact that I almost single-handily destroyed a young woman's trust of men. As for #11, she mentioned recently that I was the only person she ever confided that secret in before that moment. I'm sure that my reaction directly contributed to many of her later issues with trust, betrayal, and commitment.

You know that whole thing about love making you blind? Well, I can tell you that it always does for me. That's what lead to #8 in the first place. Sue may be angry at me for saying this, but I have been in love with at least 3 different women in my life so far. Real, blinding, I cannot explain the way I feel, I would step in front a bus for them, Princess Bride "wuv, truuu wuv" sort of love. The sort where I was planning a life together. Looking back on the first two, I can say with 100% confidence that it could never work (duh moron: The fact you are not with them pretty much means it did not work). Both were 100% the opposite of what I really want my partner in life to be. But at the time, no argument could change my outlook, no amount of motherly nagging could make me see the truth, and the fact that some truly wonderful women were right in front of my face made no difference what so ever.

Is it a rule that everyone has to date one person in high school who will do significant damage to their ability to commit to someone later in life ? Is that like something that the school counselors set up? I swear that everyone I know had this experience. Hell, I'm disturbed by the number of women I personally know who had a really bad sexual-related experience growing up (its easily north of 50%). What the FUCK is wrong with so many people?????

Friday, January 20, 2006

Great bumper stickers for the New Year!

You can buy these and other great stickers at http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/stickers.html

They have some great stickers and other fun things. This site makes me happy... I need the Flying Spaghetti Moster one.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Fun Links for your almost Weekend

History of C History of VB

Very funny explanations of how these languages got to where they are now.


Hilarious blog by a Seattle girl who claims to be a "Professional Drunk Blogger". Her post for today is an excellent example of why you should read this one:

I think I drank about four THOUSAND espresso shots today... Now I have restless leg syndrome. And restless arm syndrome. And ADHD.

And I don't think I can write anything else now because I have to go walk over there. And tremble. And talk about 4 different subjects* all at the same time to some confused people.
* Puppies, plywood blocking, travel itineraries, and Chaka Khan.

Steve, Don't Eat It!

Steve eats things you seen in the store that you have always wondered why the fuck anyone would eat them, then writes absolutely hilarious reviews.

Here is a preview for Beggin' Strips:

Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dog's don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat his own vomit, and wag his tail while he did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not.

I know these snacks aren't made for human consumption, but while I was in the store the ingredients list looked pretty tame so I wasn't too concerned. Somehow I had missed one extremely dubious word sitting there all by itself. "MEAT". That's all it says... meat.

Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat. Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat. Even Rosie O'Donnell's ball sack is meat. Okay, maybe I've gone too far. I have no idea what that is they are serving at Arby's, but you get my point.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Recommended Pants

Usually I am a big fan of Amazon.com's recommendations. They help me find music and books that I will enjoy based on other things I have rated and purchased. However, the system is not 100% perfect. Case in point, the image below. I swear to you that I have not doctored this image in any way except the highlight in red (you might have to click on the image to be able to read it):

star wars & pants

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Stupid Munchkin

Sue bought me Munchkin 4: The Need for Steed for Christmas, but had to give me a picture of the game only due to a delay in shipping. I found out today that the game has been delayed until February. Damn Steve Jackson for making such an addicting game! I need the precious new cards. NOW!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Thank you for dating the Movie Phone Guy

My life is rated NC-17!

What is your life rated? (MPAA Scale)

Hilarious WoW movie

You have to have played World of Warcraft for this one to be funny:)


Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Wilson's are back...ALRIGHT!

We are back in Alabama after a great trip back home to Michigan to see family and friends for the holidays. We were up there from Dec. 29th until Jan 8th. We saw all of the family to have a late Christmas with them all and drank Slurpees everday! Damn Alabama and the surrounding states that do not have 7-11's!! There was not much snow. It was in the 40's most of when we were up there which is warm for Michigan. We had snow two days but it always melted the next day since it was so warm. It was weird driving around Michgan without snow on the ground. It was good for the driving part. We had no problems driving up or back to Alabama. We also went back to MSU to relive the college experience.

We had a rockin New Year. We went to Detroit again to the club we went to last year, The Bleu room experience, to see DJ Richard Vission spin. He was pretty cool! The music rocked all night. Vission has a remix of "The Killer's, Mr. Brightside" that was fun to dance to. We had a great time.

While we were there we took my little sister's to see The Chronicle's of Narnia. If you ignore all of the religious conotations it is a great movie. I enjoyed it. I have still not read the books but it is a fun story.

On the way back from the movies, a deer ran into the right side of our Jeep while I was driving. I was looking straight ahead like a good driver when Eric saw the deer coming right for us and then there was nothing I could do. Unfortuneatly the deer died, but MI police have a program where they donate the dead deer to charity so that poor people can have deer meat. It was a great idea I thought. Luckily our Jeep is a tank so it just caused some minor body damage. The headlight broke and the right panels were pushed and our right door was unable to open due to the right panel being pushed into the door. It is all fixable. I am just glad that no one was hurt since my sister's were in our car with us. Insurance is good since we only need to pay $500 of the cost! That was my first deer/car accident, so I had the ultimate Michigan activity. Michigan usually has tons of deer and this year there are more than usual and the car/deer accidents are high. That was the only negative part of our trip.

Now it is back to the grindstone. I have to go to work for 3 days in a row tomorrow, damn it!