Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ninja Cheerleaders

I can't believe this is a real movie coming out this summer: Ninja Cheerleaders

And yet, there it is on IMDB: IMDB: Ninja Cheerleaders

This is the synopsis from the web site:

April, Courtney and Monica are three beautiful, intelligent and tough college freshmen. They are finishing their first semester at Los Lomas Malas community college, the armpit of community college's. They must do well on finals to gain entrance to an Ivy League University, cheer at the big game and rescue their Sensei, who has been kidnapped by the mob, all by midnight so they can compete in the all-city strip off with the hopes of winning college money. All the while, dodging nosy cops, keeping their parents at bay, dealing with a perverted coach and smiling, talking or fighting their way through a slew of odd characters.

Seriously? That's the plot of the movie I would have written in sixth grade. Who the hell is green-lighting films in Hollywood these days?

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Drunk Blog 2008!

Sue is awesome! She came up with the name of this blog!!!!!!

We watched Live Free or Die Hard today on.....DUN DUN DUN.... our new 50" Plasma TV! And up-converter DVD player! OH YEA!!! I had a hard on through the entire movie!!!!!! FUCK YA!!!! I WANT TO HUG THE TV!

I'm drunk on Merlot!!!! Yuppie drunk fest!! Stupid french for having the last letter always be silent.

Now we are watching Groove. People are high in a much higher resolution.

Sue: "I DON'T NEED Internet Explorer HELP!!! YOU NEED HELP!!!!!!"

Sue: "Don't quote me all the time! Come up with your own funny stuff..."

Considering how drunk I am, I'm really impressed by how well I can type right now.



I used caps lock too much in this blog

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Presidental Ballot Thoughts

My favorite quotes from my Sue yesterday:

'Who the fuck names their kid "Mitt" anyways?'

'Damn you Democratic party for making me vote Republican so that my vote would count!'

'I felt dirty when they put an 'R' next to my name.'

Monday, January 14, 2008

Select a Candidate

Still not sure who to vote for and want to base your decision on more than 5 second sound bites and who has the best hair? Try out NPR's Select a Candidate tool.

According to this I should vote for Edwards or Obama.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

You don't want to get sand in there.

From Ars Technica: Circumcision doesn't affect sexual satisfaction, performance

Thank God, cause I imagine putting that back on is a BITCH!

Besides, I never believed it could really get that much better than it already feels during the "happy moment". Hell, much more and I would probably be passing out during it:) Which no one wants. That last thing your girl wants when you hit the big O is for you to head butt her (picture scene from Superbad where Seth passes out into Jules head) ;)

Although that would get me out of cuddling...

Friday, January 11, 2008

Second Bar Olympics

My co-workers and I held our second bar-Olympics yesterday. It was testament to both our need to be men sometimes and our desperate need to get the f#$k out of the house.


11:00am - Gather for events in Novi. We settle on 5 events: Darts, pool, bowling, hoops, and skee-ball.

11:30am - Lunch at On the Border. This is a decision that will haunt us the rest of the day.

12:00am - Before we get too inebriated, we decide that we should start with the event that will require the most coordination: darts. Surprisingly, due to a combination of luck and me being a complete point whore who can hit 20s pretty easily, I manage to get 2nd place in this event. 2 beers and more than a few questions of "why oh why did we choose Mexican food for lunch?", and we are off.

1:00pm - Stop at Mongolian BQ for cheap beer. We eat here enough that we all bought 28oz mugs that we can refill for $2.50 with whatever is on tap whenever eat. Drain them and the lizard (twice; I have the bladder of an 85 year old man) and it's time for more events at Lucky's.

1:30pm - Round robin tournament of pool. My alcohol tolerance is clearly not what it used to be. Last year by this point I was just drunk enough that my pool skill was at its height. This year, I'm WAYYYYY past that point. I can't hit anything that covers more than 1/2 the table, and even then its sad how many I miss. I lose to every one of my co-workers and end up in last in this event.

2:00pm - Three games of Skee-ball. I've sobered up a bit for this event. I win two out of the three games, but end up in second only because the winner got some ridiculous high score on the first game (stupid random doubling of your throws).

2:30pm - Hoops: yea.....We all know I suck at hoops. Lets just move on.

3:00pm - Last event is Bowling. I can tell from my final score that I do way too much bowling on the Wii. And drinking; WAY too many Jack and Cokes by this point. All I can say is that the game is lot different when the ball doesn't weight 6ozs.

So my final score: 2 second place finishes and 3 last place finishes:( boooo!

Per tradition, we took of the tickets we had won during skeeball and hoops and bought a suitable trophy. Last year it was a Dashboard Hula Girl. This year: A stuffed GoBo Fraggle.

We should get the Detroit crew together to try this out. Although we may have to make it guys only. I don't think I could stand the shame of losing to a girl in Hoops or darts:)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

New tv show

Eric and I got Showtime after The Tudors started so we just got the first few discs from Netflix this week. What a good show. And the lead actor who plays King Henry VIII is a hotty!! Oh my God!! His name is Jonathon Rhys Meyers and I like his darkness and the roughness of his character. He looked good with a beard even on the show.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Three things I have learned never to discuss with people...

With all the buzz going on lately for the presidential primaries, I'm a little bitter that my vote in the Democrat primary next Tuesday won't even count! Bah. Ah well. I can take some comfort in the fact that if Romney loses here on Tuesday, that will pretty much be the end of his campaign.

Now I just have to decide if I should vote for the Republican I dislike the least (McCain) or if I should vote for the guy who would have the most trouble beating the Democrats (got to go with Hunter here. Who the heck is this guy any ways?).

The guy I don't want to see nominated: Huckabee. I've seen him on the Colbert Report a few times and every time I've thought that, "this is a reasonably smart, charismatic guy who can woo with the best of them". Hell, if he wasn't such an die-hard right wing religious guy, I might even be able to vote for him. This is a guy who could beat a Democrat.

I guess it could be worse. Honestly, if I look over every president in my lifetime, I can't help but notice that when it comes to moral issues and social changes, the president really can't do a hell of a lot. Congress is too divided on the real issues for there to be any real changes to things like gun control, abortion, etc. So the fact of the matter is I'm voting for the guy/gal who will best handle foreign affairs and budget issues. Maybe throw Social Security (yea right...) and universal health care on the pile. But moral and social issues? Not a chance.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Now THAT is drinking!

Seattle Times: Blood-alcohol level of Woodinville driver breaks state record

She blew 0.47%! Holy crap that is impressive. Especially since .35 is the point where most people black out and .40 and above is about the level that 50% of the population would just stop breathing.

The record for highest blood alcohol level in Washington is now held by a 135 lbs 54 year old woman. If I was a man in Washington state, I would be flat out embarrassed by that. Men are supposed to be the ones who drink way too much!

I also like the fact that she had posted bail for another DUI charge THE PREVIOUS DAY!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Post New Years Update

There are multiple videos of me drunk and doing stupid things on the internet. It's like I'm a celebrity now!

Reports of me having sex on New Years Eve have been greatly exaggerated.

We got 15" of snow here at my house on New Years. I had to shovel the driveway just to get my car back on to it. Speaking of snow, the drive home REALLY sucked. It took us an hour and a half for what is normally a 40 minute drive. At several points on I-96, there was only one lane actually plowed. And I'm not sure a plow trunk ever made it to US-23.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Drunk blog

I apologize if the spelling in this blog sucks. I'm sooooooo drunk right now. W00t!!!!!! DRINKING!!!!!! For the win!!!!!!!

I'm going to fuck Sue now. Wish me luck!

We are staying at Mike's house now. This could be weird, but I'm going to just go with whatever I feel like doing; which right now is SEX!!!!!