Random stuff, we are still alive

Not that anyone ever reads this, since facebook...

This is day 131 of the baby attack. Food is scarce, water is dry. All is dim... lol. Too much wine this evening.

I am not depressed anymore!! W00t!

Yeah, what, my baby is different! Bitch!! Bitch, please!!! I will punch you in the face if you mention the term "toe head" again!! I am glad our baby is huge, then he can punch people that talk about them. No I am not condoning violence...

Wine is good.

Sleeping babies are good.

Konrad stop being depressed. We love you! Love sucks but that is part of it. Eric was a dick to me once upon a time and now we are very happy...


Web soup is funny...

Paul and Sue we miss you... Where are you???

Prop 8 musical

Did not see this until now but it is hilarious. Plus NPH is in it with a ton of comedy stars!!

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Fox News != Sexy

Is it me, or is there something just wrong with Fox news hosting this article?

FOXSexpert: Navigating Newly Single Sex

Also, isn't it a little weird/hypocritical to that Fox News even has Sexpert?

P.S. Yea, its been forever since we've posted. You try keeping up a blog with a infant.

Justin Timberlake on SNL again = hilarious!

The sequel to "Dick in a box".

Update from the Wilsons

Its been way too long since our last post. Keeping a baby alive and happy IS HARD WORK! And you just know that since I have started writing this post, the baby is going to wake up in the next 3 minutes, so this is going to have to be brief.

1) Riley is already 5 weeks old and somewhere between 12 and 13 lbs (my bathroom scale is not that accurate). The 0-3 month clothes are already tight. He is healthy and pretty happy as a rule (as long as he isn't hungry).

2) There is NOTHING on TV at 3:00am.

3) Note to anyone else who wants to have a baby: You will never have enough burb cloths. Trust me on this. I think we go through 8 a day.

4) I STILL don't have this whole diaper thing down. Sue has not had a leak in 2 weeks. Meanwhile, I have at least one a day spring a leak.

Looks can be Deceiving

This 47 year old woman on England's version of American Idol/Americas Got Talent is unbelievable to see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnmbJzH93NU

Pregnant No More

So as most of you know, Sue gave birth to Riley Eric Wilson at 7:49pm on March 27th. Some fun things to know about the little man:

1) He was 22" long at birth. That's off the chart in terms of his height percentile, but at least greater than the 97% percentile. No wonder he had to come out via C-section:)

2) I swear this is true: at 3 days old, he rolled over while we were at the doctor's office. That has to be some sort of record!

3) He snorts when he is excited. Its the cutest thing ever.

Still pregnant...

Yeah, here I am a day after my due date and I am still very much pregnant with no signs of labor at all. Saw the Dr. yesterday and she checked me and I am the same as last week. If the baby is not here by Tuesday, March 31st then I will be induced. If my Blood pressure stays high I may get induced earlier. Last Tuesday was the first day it was ever above 112 so they were a little concerned. I get to get checked again thursday so if it is still high this baby may come out sooner...

Prez Bracket

Did anyone else see our President's bracket picks on ESPN? He thinks Michigan State will make the Final Four! Good call Mr. President.

http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/entry?entryID=2813746

Ways to get the Baby Out Quicker

Sue and I have been brainstorming ideas about how to get the baby out quicker. So far, here is what we have:

• Squeeze Sue like a tube of toothpaste
• Smoke him out
• Large cash bribes
• Send in Bella: She's breed to get badgers out of a small hole. A kid should be easy.
• Set a mousetrap with cheese on a string.
• One word: Trampoline

Anyone else have a plan? At this point we're ready to try pretty much anything:)

Bob is Losing His Sight

Our poor dog Bob is losing his sight:( He's not blind or anything, but his vision of things close up seems to be pretty bad.

Things we've noticed so far:

He bumps into things around the house. Yesterday he walked right in a door frame with so much as slowing down.

When we play chase now, he will run right by me. Yesterday we were chasing around the house. I ran into the living room. He turned into the kitchen and stared at empty space thinking he had me cornered

If I throw him a treat, he doesn't even see it go by his head! This was how I first noticed it actually. He can smell treats, but he doesn't seem to be able to see them at all!

Poor guy...He's only 7! This is bull shit!

We are taking him to a dog specialist for his eyes next week. Hopefully they will be able to do something to help him out.

Less than 20 days!!

I am sooo happy that we hit the under 20 day mark!! Come on baby, mama is ready to get you out and meet the kid who has been kicking me all this time ;) Also, it is very uncomfortable in the last month of pregnancy...

Spring Awakening: A new musical

So last night, Eric and I went to see Spring Awakening: A new musical at Wharton Center on MSU. We bought the tix back in August after seeing an advertisement while being at Wharton to see Wicked. The ad said rock and roll and exploring sexuality which are both cool for theatre. We thought that it would be like Rent and we love Rent.

Going into it we did not know much about it. There were quite a few suprises. Just before I bought the tix I had gone online to find examples of the songs to see if it was any good. The titles got me. Some of the songs are "The bitch of living" and "Totally fucked". The musical is actually based on a very controversial play written in 1891 by Frank Wedekind. It was not performed for 100 years because it was so controversial and modern at the time. It is about teens exploring sexuality and dealing with puberty. Very interesting.

The first suprise was during one part of the play one of the characters starts jacking off. Fun. Then he sings while doing it. Next when two characters go to have sex the guy opens her shirt and there is a boob out for all to see. Then he actually kisses and touches it (I turned red). Then they proceed to have pretend sex with his butt showing, at least I think it was pretend sex. That was the end of act 1 so the audience had to look at each other and try not to be embarrassed. :) The beginning of Act2 involved that same scene in repeat, so more boobie. LOL. Then later on there is a make out scene with two boys.

Also one of the main characters Moritz was played by Blake Bashoff who was Karl, Alex's boyfriend in "Lost". Pretty cool. He was an amazing singer.

Overall, it was a very good musical. It deals with a lot of big issues besides sexuality like suicide, child abuse and a little s&m even. We had fun.

RNC Taking It to the Street!

I can't be alone in thinking the new Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele sounds like a complete tool when he says things like the following:

“We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings.”

Yea, cause the first thing I think of when I think of hip-hop artists is people who are interested in "family values" and "respecting the law".

He added, jokingly, that “we need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.”

And after a comment like that, I say "Good Luck with the one-armed midgets".

Steele described the new multi-platform PR offensive as “avant-garde, technically. It will come to [the] table with things that will surprise everyone — off the hook.”

"Off the hook" hasn't been the hip slang for at least 5 years. Please don't say that again.

Asked whether that meant cutting-edge tactics, Steele demurred. “I don't do 'cutting-edge,’” he said. “That's what Democrats are doing. We're going beyond cutting-edge.”

Oh great. You're a tool AND a marketing weinie. I bet you ask people to give "110%" as well. Actually, you probably ask them to give 120%, because 110% is what "the Democrats are doing".

My new favorite song!

Maybe a good lullabye... ;) I love this song, in rock form anyway. I like when rap is made into rock. SO much better that way.

More Motivational Posters

Yet more proof I should move to Denmark

The Economist: How people in various countries view the theory of evolution

The image from this article depresses me (Click to see a larger version)



Even worse is this stat from the article:

In 2008 14% of people polled by Gallup agreed that “man evolved over millions of years”, up from 9% in 1982.

I have a long, angry post about how completely insane this is and some comments about people thinking that fossils were put there by the devil, but I'm too tired to type it all out. Fill in your own angry thoughts here.

Comcast's not the Only Company Offering a Rebate

MSNBC: Pink Visual Offers Compensation for 'Superbowl Porn' Mishap

You've got to love a porn company that can make a joke:

Adult entertainment studio Pink Visual announced today that it is offering its Tucson, Arizona-area customers $10 off subscriptions to its flagship mobile and "mega pass" adult sites to compensate Comcast customers who might have wanted to see the rest of the porn movie that interrupted Sunday's Superbowl broadcast.

"We feel really bad for the customers that were just getting into it when Comcast rudely switched back to the football game before the clip could really get going," joked Kim Kysar, brand and product manager for Pink Visual...

"Having seen the clip which interrupted the Superbowl uncensored and uncut, I can imagine that many fans were left wanting to see a lot more of Evan Stone," Kysar said. "Perhaps they even wished they had access to a private, mobile adult site where they could get a bit of 'alone time' to get fired up after the game, and to release the frustration they felt after watching Arizona lose in the game's final seconds."

Lamaze Class #2

2 down, 2 to go.

This week was all about the few weeks before labor, and the first stage of labor where you're cervix opens to 6cm. Things we learned:

- Pregnancy is just plain gross. There are plugs that have to fall out. Sacs to be punctured. Fluid to spill everywhere. At one point the teacher suggested that you may WANT an enema (something I could never imagine anyone requesting). Like Sue said after we left, "People talk about how beautiful birth is. Those people are stupid. Before birth is gross. The baby is gross when it comes out. And after the baby comes out is gross."

- Apparently nipple stimulation is a good way to get labor moving along. Just to be safe, I thought we should stimulate both our nipples. You know... to cover all our bases.

- We learned two breathing patterns to help get you through the early contractions. I'm coming around to the idea that these at least might help to dull the pain a little bit; Take the edge off of it as our teacher says. Time will tell I guess.

- A big part of class was working on learning to relax parts of your body. That way when you are stressed (read: having a baby), you will be able to relax your muscles and release tension. At one point she walked us through an exercise where she sounded like a stage magician trying to hypnotize us all. Is it weird that I want to cluck like a chicken every time I hear the word "baby" now?

How NOT to Talk Dirty

WARNING: The audio is not safe for work.

Less than two months left!!

This is a little late but look, less than two months left to go!! Hopefully the baby won't come too late, he probably will be at least 8 pounds as it is!!!

Lamaze Class #1

Sue and I had our first Lamaze/birthing class yesterday. I don't really believe for a second that some relaxing breaths will make this any less painful, but the other information we get in these classes is helpful. Sue and I have repeating that line from Gone with the Wind over and over lately: "I don't know nothing about birthing no babies!" These classes help suppress that feeling a little bit.

I truly believe in the "it's a small world" theory now for 2 reasons: 1) Scott Weeks, a guy I went to high school with, was in our class and 2) I was in Boy Scouts with our instructor's son.

Next week we start the lying on the floor and breathing and all that jazz. This week was just walking through all the stages of the birth. BTW: I didn't really need to see how much my wife's cervix will have to stretch to get that kid out (10cm for those playing at home).

Did you know the average labor is 18 hours long??? Crap. And apparently they don't want you even coming to the hospital until you're most of the way through it. They say its because you can be more comfortable at home. NEWS FLASH DOC: I would be more comfortable with $100 million dollars of monitors and machines hooked to my wife during that!

New Plan

As a follow up to my last post, maybe we could try this. You know... just in case my kid turns out to be a dinosaur of some sort:)



From http://xkcd.com/531

Babies R Us

So its getting closer to baby time and I'm finally starting to freak out about it a little bit. I mean, its a freaking BABY! A little person. And more importantly its OUR little person. How the fuck does this work? I mean, the baby is going to come out; we get like a day in hospital to figure everything out, and then its "so long, good luck with that!".

Before our baby class this week, I was really kind of mellow about the whole thing. Since that class, its like a switch has been flipped in my head. All I've been thinking about is all the ways I could really screw this up. Nothing specific. Just a general dread that this is all going to end very badly.

Someone tell me this is normal.

New Years Car Repair

I had another chance to show off my man powers again today by changing the spark plugs on our Pontiac. As usual, my man powers were mostly thwarted by the engineers at GM.

I want to punch each and every one of the guys that designed the engine of my car in the balls. Everything is working now, but I knew I was in trouble when my father (who is a mechanic) first looked under the hood and said "where the heck are the spark plugs?" (questions similar to "what/where the heck is that?" seem to occur a lot with this car). After we found the spark plugs under a metal plate on top of the engine, my father heads off leaving me to swap out the spark plugs.

Everything was going fine until I tried to put that plate back. It took me 40 minutes to get the f$#@ing cover back on the spark plugs because between the plate and each spark plug was a rubber gasket. Because of all the other hoses and pipes around the top of the engine, getting that plate in was a bitch. Every time I would try to get it into position, I would knock one of the rubber gaskets off that connect the spark plug to the ignition system and have to start over! The neighbor actually came over to have a look at why I was swearing in my driveway :)