Monday, January 31, 2005

TurboTax Sex Line

According to this article from, apparently one of the 1-800 numbers listed as a phone number to purchase additional tax products in the latest version of TurboTax contains a typo. Instead, it directs you to a number that lets you talk to interesting young ladies for only 99 cents a minute. I can just imagine what those sorts of calls are like.

Caller: Hi, I'm looking to purchase some additional services.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Wouldn't you like to know what I am wearing first?

Caller: That's all right. Lets just talk about the additional services I need to purchase.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Well well...Right to the point. I like that in a caller... what did you have in mind big boy?

Caller: How did you know I had a weight problem? I mean....never mind that...look, I just want to get some additional software.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Would you like to get access to my soft breasts or my soft <bleeped for the kids out there>?

Caller: What the hell is this? Listen, I need some SOFTWARE. Not soft breasts or soft <bleeped because it is funny to bleep>. SOFTWARE!

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: OK, ok. Authoritative! I like that... Ok, we have a large selection of titles to choose from. Would you prefer something like Cum guzzling Republicans? Or something more like euro anal...

Caller: <click>

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Step 1 for my New Year's resolution

I bought John Digweed tix for eleven50 in Atlanta, GA for April 2nd from!! I am so freakin excited I have to jump up and down whenever I think about it! It is Digweed! So which of you mofo's are going to join us, come on, you know you want to! If you don't know who Digweed is then you can go to and preview some of his tracks from Bedrock or Stark Raving Mad, my two fave discs from him. "Heaven Scent" is my favorite song from Bedrock!

If you want to have tons of fun, go to John Digweed's website at the above link, click on "studio", and then click on "mix a track" and you can mix your own techno track.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Strange Sight

Today I was driving to work behind a dude in a truck. The truck had a US Marines bumper sticker, a "God Bless America" bumper sticker, and a large American flag sticker. All well and good, except he was driving in a Toyota Pathfinder. For whatever reason I found that funny.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

NBC, Teens, and Sex

Yesterday Sue was watching that NBC special with Katie Couric about teens and sex in the current generation. Am I the only one who thinks this huge scare about teens having so much sex is a big joke? I just have trouble believing that kids today are having THAT much more oral sex than kids of the previous generation (or the one before that, or the one before that, etc.). Every time one of these shows is on it is always second and third hand accounts of acts (READ: RUMOR). And it's always something like, "I heard these kids went to a party where a whole goat was shoved into a girl's ass while she was blowing the entire male population of Rhode Island" or some crap like that. Its basically just playing on the fears of parents when you tell them stories like that, because you are using hersey to drive your point home.

News Flash 1: Teens had sex in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 1825, 1492, and any other year you can think of.

News Flash 2: Oral sex was not invented in the 80s and 90s, and folks have probably been doing it since the day they figured out how to say the word "oral".

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

More Civilizations

Joy of Joys! Firaxis annouced today that they are creating a new Civilization IV game to be released in late 2005. Civilization I, II, and III are probably my favorite games of all time!

Monday, January 24, 2005

Weekend Recap

Lessons from this weekend:

1) Apparently I am very sexy when I am fixing computer equipment.

2) I SUCK at answering questions of the form, "If so and so were a <Insert noun here>, what sort of <Insert same noun here> would they be?". Even if they are multiple choice.

3) I am awesome at matching nouns to adjectives however.

4) Canadian beer is GOOOOOOOD.

5) As a corollary to (4), apparently my skill at DDR is proportional to how much alcohol I have consumed (to a limit I have not determined yet; More research is needed...Quickly Sue, to the beer-mobile!).

6) The theory that there are only two degrees of separation between most people in the US is in fact true. Finding that person in between is REALLY hard, but apparently leaving wedding invites out is a good way to improve your odds.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Bunch of Reviews


The new Papa Rouch CD "Getting Away With Murder" kicks serious ass. Go out and get a copy right now.

The new Ferry Corsten CD "Global Trancemissions 2" kicks ass. Go out and get a copy if you like trance.

I've noticed that I have trouble finding really good CDs of hard house and hard trance. I have plenty of regular trance, which I like. But that stuff is not upbeat enough to keep me awake at work lately. The only CDs I have that have enough hard house and trance are by Bad Boy Joe (Best of NYC Afterhours: Feel the Drums) and Louie Devito (NYC Underground Party, Vol. 3). I need more. Anyone know of any good ones?


Garden State is one of the better movies I have seen in years. I already knew Zach Braff was a brillant comedic actor due to his work on Scrubs (best show on T.V. hands down), but this movie shows he is also a brillant writer and director all in one shot. There are so many shots of random stuff that makes you realize just how ridiculous our lives are these days. Also, the soundtrack (thanks Dana!) kicks ass, although it is slow and meloncoly. Not something I would recommend listening to when you are feeling suicidal or driving:)

Thursday, January 20, 2005

We can only hope for the best...

As you know, today Bush is being reinstated as president for four more years. I will not watch one second of it. I disagree with everything that man stands for and all of the actions he has taken. What appalls me the most is that he has no remorse for any of the mistakes he or his adminstration has done. He said just recently in an interview that since he was re-elected that the American people agreed with every action he took and that now he has the right to run with any policy he has in the works. He did not win the election by much. The strongest men in life are not afraid to admit their mistakes and they fight with words, not guns. War is brought on by the weak minded. My anti-inauguration is this blog with peace quotes. I got these quotes from a website of peace quotes. Please take the time to read at least one.

"In all of his suffering, as in all of his life and ministry, Jesus refused to defend himself with force or with violence. He endured violence and cruelty so that God's love might be fully manifest and the world might be reconciled to the One from whom it had become estranged. Even at his death, Jesus cried for forgiveness for those who were executioners: "Father, forgive them" "
--The Challenge of Peace

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." --Matthew 5:3

"Do you want long life and happiness? Strive for peace with all your heart." --Psalm 34:12,14

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." --Bertrand Russell

"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising." --Maya Angelou

"We should take care, in inculcating patriotism into our boys and girls, that is a patriotism above the narrow sentiment which usually stops at one's country, and thus inspires jealousy and enmity in dealing with others... Our patriotism should be of the wider, nobler kind which recognises justice and reasonableness in the claims of others and which lead our country into comradeship with...the other nations of the world. The first step to this end is to develop peace and goodwill within our borders, by training our youth of both sexes to its practice as their habit of life, so that the jealousies of town against town, class against class and sect against sect no longer exist; and then to extend this good feeling beyond our frontiers towards our neighbours."
--Lord Baden-Powell

"There have been periods of history in which episodes of terrible violence occurred but for which the word violence was never used...Violence is shrouded in justifying myths that lend it moral legitimacy, and these myths for the most part kept people from recognizing the violence for what it was. The people who burned witches at the stake never for one moment thought of their act as violence; rather they though of it as an act of divinely mandated righteousness. The same can be said of most of the violence we humans have ever committed." --Gil Bailie

"Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace.It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him." --King Baudouin I, King of Belgium

"When you're finally up on the moon, looking back at the earth, all these differences and nationalistic traits are pretty well going to blend and you're going to get a concept that maybe this is really one world and why the hell can't we learn to live together like decent people? "
--Frank Borman

"Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity." --Buddha

"Non-violence is a very powerful weapon. Most people don't understand the power of non-violence and tend to be amazed by the whole idea. Those who have been involved in bringing about change and see the difference between violence and non-violence are firmly committed to a lifetime of non-violence, not because it is easy or because it is cowardly, but because it is an effective and very powerful way." --Cesar Chavez

"We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace." --William Ellery Channing

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." --Winston Churchill

"Very few people chose war. They chose selfishness and the result was war. Each of us, individually and nationally, must choose: total love or total war." --Dave Dellinger

"Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." --Albert Einstein

Sunday, January 16, 2005

I Got Nothing

I've been having writers block the last week or so. Its weird because Sue has had the last five posts in a row; an previously unheard of string of posts for her. So I'm just going to throw out a bunch of little things and hope that, like us, the whole is more than sum of its parts (did I just blow your mind?).

- NASA launched their "Deep Impact" probe on Wednesday (he he...probe). Does anyone but me see that name and think "porn movie title"?

- Sue and I are now officially addicted to Dance Dance Revolution (DDR). It is quite the aerobic workout (or I am really in horrible shape...its hard to differentiate between those two states). I have no idea what happened, but yesterday my feet and brain finally hooked it all up and I am now able to at least get through the light level on all the songs (although I will get a D on most of the hard songs). Still, that makes it a lot more enjoyable! Its easy to do that for an hour or two without even thinking about. My buddy Paul told me to remember that, "pain is just weakness leaving the body". That's a very good motivator, especially after the first day when I could not straighten my legs without a lot of pain. Sue and I are already looking for a deal on another pad so that we can both play together.

- Work has been better this last week. For about two weeks there I was in this sort of fog where I could not make heads or tails of the new system I was working with. Then just like DDR, it all just sort of clicked in my head. Its weird. One minute I cannot tell you anything about how it works, and the next it all just sort of makes perfect sense. Its weird. It's hard to imagine that the neural connections in my brain just went from a random set of connections to something that can sort out the stream of events out of the system I am working on. What is weirder is that somehow the neurons connect correctly without an outside teacher telling them when they have correctly fired. I don't understand it.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Needed: More rain in Venice

I saw this story on the news and it is so sad. Venice, Italy is at it's lowest water levels ever due to weather issues. Gondolas are stuck and the whole town is very bare due to no visitors because of the lack of water. Eric and I were there just 4 years ago and it was definitely a place worth visiting once in your life. It is pretty, ecspecially at night and romantic.

Monday, January 10, 2005


Eric and I bought the best game ever this weekend with some of our Best Buy Bucks from Christmas: Dance, Dance, Revolution. We borrowed an Xbox from Eric's brother who can't use if now and so we bought the game and dance pad for it! It is so addicting and hard, but that is how I like it! :) Eric and I tried it out this weekend and we were challenging each other. The best part is that you get a work out too! The other great part is that most of the music on it is techno, Chinese techno, but pretty good techno none the less. :) The background graphics are very cool and psychadelic.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

New Years pictures

Some dude was going around taking pictures at club Bleu on New years and here they are. Now is that a cool club or what? Above is one of Me, Eric, Paul, and some cute girl I was chatting with. Enjoy!

Friday, January 07, 2005

My New Year's Resolution...


I am super psyched about all of the awesome DJ's that are coming to eleven50 in Atlanta:
Saturday February 19th Liquified: DEEP DISH featuring DUBFIRE and Dean Coleman.
They also say that John Digweed is coming some time this year! SWEET!! I love him! Also, Sasha is expected to come there as well. You can go to groovetickets for more info. I am psyched for the New Year!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Susie's back....alright!

Well, I realized that we did not post a summary of our adventure to the north and it was an adventure.

First of all, we left the 22nd which it just so happens there was a giant storm that same day going through our driving route. We were doing fine until we hit Kentucky when the rain turned into freezing rain. Once we hit Louisville it was snow and we were going 25 mph down the freeway. Well, we realized that we could not drive safely any further, so we decided to drive north of Louisville to the next city with several hotels in it. What a nightmare. The town that we decided to stop in in Indiana just happened to be the area with the most snow accumulation, 34 inches! We had to dig our car out with our hands and feet. Eric helped push out about 6-7 cars before the driveway was clear for our car to be pushed out. That was a time I wished our Jeep had 4 wheel drive or at least all wheel drive. It took 5 guys to push us with our packed to the brim Jeep out. We made it! Then for about 60 or so miles on the freeway we could only go 25-30 mph because the freeway still sucked and on some parts of the freeway there were semi's that were just left in the right lane of I-65. We eventually made it home, but what a trip!

Christmas was great! We got to see all of our family and Santa was very good to us! I got Eric the Munchkin game and the two expansions which is our new obsession! What a fun game! We played a lot while in Michigan!

While visiting with my mom and sisters, we went to see Lemony Snicket's: A series of unfortunate events. What a great movie! I was unsure about it, but my little sisters really wanted to see it. I really enjoyed it too! It is very funny for a depressing movie! Jim Carey was hilarious and the baby in it really stole the movie. She was funny and the subtitles for her gibberish was great! I highly recommend it for any age!

We saw many good friends while in MI. We were not able to get to everyone (sorry!) but the ones we saw was really great!

Finally, New Years!! We had a an absolute blast! I am still recovering :) I also caught a cold between MI and Alabama, but that is the price you pay for that much fun! Our friends Paul and Sue came in from New York to party down at the Bleu room in downtown Detroit. The kick-ass, awesome techno DJ John Acquaviva spun for four hours from midnight until 4 am. It was hands down the best damn New Years ever! Eric and I danced the night away with our friends Paul, Sue, and Kien. It was a great club! There were a lot of hot almost naked lady employees there for the boys and some cute male bartenders for the girls. The lady employees were pretty much strippers that did some bartending and danced on the bars too. We stayed in a ghetto hotel that we found on expedia that was about 1 mile from the club. The location was great for our purposes, but for a Ramada inn, it sucked. There was no heat and the service sucked. It is something we will remember though:) I couldn't complain, it was a bed to sleep in. The other fun part about the hotel was that there was a Goth club on the first floor. The people that came in had some awesome outfits. I was jealous! Crazy! Basically it was us and all the goth people staying at this hotel for New Years parties.

All in all, we had a great vacation. Now I wish I had more time off before school begins again Monday. At least it is my last semester so I need to just plough through and get it done. You may not here from me for the next five months because it is going to be hella busy, but I will try. I just can't wait until May!!


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Munchkin Blanks Need Your Help

One of the best gifts I got for Christmas this year was the game Munchkin. Its hilarious and fun, and I recommend that everyone get a copy. One of the cool things is that the expansion pack comes with several blank cards that you create any sort of card you want. I've decided that rather than create my own cards, I would request the advice of my fellow gamers for the text of my blank cards. Here is what I have so far just to get the ball rolling:

Anti-Magic Field

Play on any character. That character may not become a Wizard. If the character is already a Wizard, that class is discarded.

Yard Rake of Destruction

Fear the Rake! Bonus +2 (+3 if it is officially Fall) 2 hands. 500 gold.

Stick It To The Man

Playable only if you have a pole, wand, staff or other stick like object in play OR if any player is in combat with Stickman. Subtract 2 levels from the player with the highest level (if two or more players are tied for the highest level, all lose 2 levels).

Anyone else got ideas?

Monday, January 03, 2005

Catholic School Does Right Thing. Parents Complain.

I've got a TON of stuff to write about my great vacation back to Michigan, but I'm still paying for the fun of new years. Therefore, I thought I would just comment on this story that I saw on CNN this morning:

Catholic school angers some by admitting gay couple's sons

Apparently, a Catholic school in California admitted two students to its kindergarten class who's parents are gay. The parents of the some of the students at this school then went off on some sort of wild holier than thou thing where they demanded that children not be admitted if the parents of those children did not follow Catholic teaching.

I really need to give some credit to the Superintendent of this school system. His point that, "if Catholic beliefs were strictly adhered to, then children whose parents divorced, used birth control or married outside the church would also have to be banned.." is spot on. "Hello...kettle...This is the pot calling...You're BLACK!...<click>".

I also am shocked at the serious fear that folks have of gay couples. These are KINDERGARTEN students. THEY ARE 5 YEARS OLD! They don't have a sexual agenda. They don't even understand what a penis is yet. Sheesh. Switch to decaf people... Just because their ADOPTED fathers are gay, that automatically means these kids should be denied a Catholic education? Why punish these children for the choices their adopted father's made? Seems unfair to me, but hey, I'm just a Protestant... ;)