Paul, Sue, and I all went and say Indiana Jone and the Temple of the Crystal Skull last Friday. As you can guess from the title of this blog, our experience was less than stellar.
It sucked. It sucked for a whole host of reasons. More than I can even count.
1) Physics. Seriously. I don't ask much from my action movies. All I ask is that you be consistent. You know; if something is so magentic that when I throw it in the air it shoots across the room, it should be that way when it is in my pocket as well.
2) Monkeys: Yes, that's right. Monkeys attack Nazis, and only Nazis. Just saying that out loud should be enough to let you know something about this movie.
3) Guns vs. a Whip: How the fuck do a bunch of people with guns not kill a dude with a whip?
4) Generally bad script: Its not even that acting was that bad. The script was horrible. A barrage of one liners followed by huge elaborate scenes built around those one liners.
6 years ago
Posts
5 comments:
Monkeys attacked Commies, not Nazis this time. The worst part definitely had to be the Tarzan swinging with the monkeys to get back to the group. Seriously what the hell, we all knew George Lucas couldn't write a script to save his life now, but Spielberg should have had some input into the damn thing and said maybe we shouldn't do that.
Most absurd moment though was the survive the A-bomb in a lead lined fridge, damn why didn't we teach this and not duck and cover in the 50s and 60s.
I'm glad I didn't waste my time then. Thanks for the reviews peoples.
Yes, Konrad the A-bomb scene is the dumbest. Like that would happen!! George Lucas just loves to ruin movies. I want my time and money back from that movie.
I'm with you guys. Lucas just doesn't know how to direct or edit. He makes great actors like Harrison Ford, Natalie Portman, and Ewan McGregor look bad. That's not easy! His biggest problem is that he focuses on theatrics way way way too much.
Multi-dimensional beings, cool. Capoeira fighters, neato. Tiresias (Or whatever that old man's name was) makes a nice link to Shakespeare. But the way he did it all was very crude and obvious.
Lastly, the only thing I hate more than bad movie-making is bad science. I mean come on, riding a Fridge out of a nukular blast? I can buy out-running a shock wave in a fast car, (That's semi-plausible), but sitting in a fridge, you'll be cooked like a turkey inside that thing. Newsflash, Nukular weapons make shit hot.
Yea, I totally forgot about the fridge scene. Just the idea of him getting up after being flung via the shock way that far was ridiculous.
Post a Comment