Sue's Birthday!

It's Sue's Birthday today!

Everyone call her and tell her how awesome she is as she crosses into her 30s.

Time for some Campaigning

Its that time again.

jibjab.com: Time for some Campaignin

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe E3 Game Trailer

Saw today that they are making a Mortal Kombat game where you take on the characters from the DC universe. Which is all well and good I guess, expect that Superman is in the game.

Ummmm...ok, stupid question time, but how in the hell does Sub Zero (or anyone else from MK) hurt Superman? He's all impervisous to harm and stuff!

Nuke the Fridge

Remember a few month ago when we were making fun of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Especially that scene with the A-bomb and the fridge?

Well, it turns out we weren't the only ones: Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary both have entries for the phrase "Nuking the Fridge", used to describe the movie equivalent of "Jumping the Shark" in TV.

I especially like the definition from Urban Dictionary:

A colloquialism used to delineate the precise moment at which a cinematic franchise has crossed over from remote plausibility to self parodying absurdity, usually indicating a low point in the series from which it is unlikely to recover. A reference to one of the opening scenes of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which the titular hero manages to avoid death by nuclear explosion by hiding inside a kitchen refrigerator. The film is widely recognised by fans as a major departure from the rest of the series both in terms of content and quality.

Weekend soon!

I'm excited for this weekend. Luau on Saturday at Mike's (why does "luau" NEVER look right to me no matter how much I type it?), followed by Wicked on Sunday at MSU's Wharton Center (yea, yea, yea...I like musicals. SUCK IT BITCHES!)

Fuck it's taking forever to get here...

Stupid work. Why does work have to be all stressful and hard and stuff?!?!?!?!?!? Although since lunch all I have done is get a good buzz on, win 3 games of Wii bowling and called into a conference call. Luckily I was sober by then ;-)

Oil Prices

I've said before, everyone in the US should have to take a macroeconomics class. But lately I think that's not enough. People always seem to want a simple answer to every problem. Even if they understand that stuff is complex, they don't seem to want to think about it. They want to blame it on the first scapegoat they can so they can focus their anger and get their government to DO something.

Oil is the latest example of this; Everyone is on the "speculators are to blame" bandwagon. McCain, Obama, the media, everyone. Except for... oh...the government themselves!

NYT: Speculators Aren’t Driving Up Oil Prices, Report Says

And then there is the ever present drive to drill along the US coast. Now don't get me wrong, I'm actually in favor of it. But politicians would have you believe that if just started drilling today everything would go back to the way it was by the end of the week. But wait! Once again a government report would beg to differ:

http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/ae/otheranalysis/ongr.html

“The projections in the OCS access case indicate that access to the Pacific, Atlantic, and eastern Gulf regions would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas production or prices before 2030....Because oil prices are determined on the international market, however, any impact on average wellhead prices is expected to be insignificant."

Batman was Awesome

The Dark Knight was awesome. Heath Ledger's Joker stole the show. Dark and evil and a perfect psychopath. Scary stuff all the way around.



SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the movie, you want to stop reading now!



Paul and I were discussing the scene where the two ships are rigged to explode based on what the other ship did. Call me cynical, but I have trouble believing that both would do nothing. I just can't imagine that among 400+ passengers not one would stand up and turn that key in order to protect their....whatever (spouse, children, etc.). If it was just me on the boat, I like to think I couldn't pull that trigger. But to protect Sue, you can bet that I would have turned that key...

But I wonder what everyone else thinks they would have done. Obviously its impossible to say for sure, but what is your gut reaction?

Going to see Batman tonight

Eric and I are going tonight since I had to work all weekend. I am very excited. Christian Bale is hot and awesome and I have loved him since this:







The Best movie ever!! With a lot of hot boys! Christian Bale is a triple threat! Mmm!

30 days to Here

And this makes 30 (days anyways). If you took the "miss 2 posts" square in your office pool, congrats!

Once More, My Nerdiness is your Entertainment

Astrodome Hit With Code Violations

When I read this headline my first thought was "I wonder what sort of computer code they use to run the Astrodome?"

Sigh...

Dr. Horrible

Neil Patrick Harris? Awesome.

Combined with Joss Whedon writing and directing? Awesome

In a musical? Trifecta baby!


Apparently Whedon was REALLY bored during the writers strike and came up with this idea for a supervillian musical.

Important Note (from their FAQ):

ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!

"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:

ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)

Ann Arbor Art Fair

We went out to the Ann Arbor Art Fair today. Just like every year since we have been back, we go, walk around for four hours and don't buy a thing.

Part of the issue is that at the Ann Arbor fair, the typical painting (the only art I'm usually looking for) starts in the $800-$1200+ range. That's just tough for me to justify, no matter how much I may like an artist's work. To make up for that, whenever I find something that really speaks to me for some reason, I do try to actually tell the artist. I like to think they find that almost as nice as getting paid for their work.

I'm always curious why paintings are so expensive. I can imagine its something like the market for jewelry: I don't sell very often, so I need to make a fair amount on each sale to justify all of my fixed costs. Combine that with the fact that there is a very limited supply of each artist's work and I guess I can understand it. Still, I always question if asking for half as much would help you sell more than twice as many.

South park vs reality

Compare these videos:





For me, the South Park one is really funny; the second (original) is just plain creepy.

Its not just me right?

Fun at Showboat!

Eric and I went to Chesaning Showboat again this year in my hometown yesterday. We went with my sisters and my friend Mo, her hubby Tim, and Tim's brother Phil. It was tons of fun! Chesaning actually gets good bands now.

The opening band was the Sick puppies who were awesome!! I think they put on the best show of the night. I really enjoyed their music. Plus they had a hot woman bassist that all the boys wanted a piece of. She was dressed in black and red goth garb, yeah for ladies in rock!!

Next was Finger 11, who were pretty good. I really do like their music, but the show they put on was really mellow. The lead singer was clearly drunk which was funny. The drummer was very entertaining too, he did little tricks and poses.

The last group was Seether, which Eric and I love. They put on a pretty good show as well, but again the show was very mellow compared to their albums. It would be upbeat for a few songs but then back to extreme mellowness. All in all it was a good show. The funny thing was that Seether who is a goth, alternative rock band and they decorations were icicle Christmas lights, seemed a bit pansy.

We had a lot of fun and got to see our great friend's Mo and Tim and as an added bonus Phil! We wish they lived closer. Wisconsin is just far enough away. Afterwards of course we went to the Family Tavern (bar) in Oakley, the even smaller town next to Chesaning, for $4 pitchers of Amberbock! Oh yeah! Cheap beer rocks!!

Miss USA Falls Again

Didn't I just get done making fun of this last year?

3 year to be less useful

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-07-12/

There was a time when I thought about getting a MBA degree; I minored in business after all. I'm actually really glad I minored in it. Micro and macro economics were probably the single best classes I took in college in terms of broadening my outlook a lot on how the world actually works (as anyone who's heard my long ramblings about the role of government in regulating pollution or how cutting taxes to increase growth is a good idea in the short term but a horrible long term idea). Hey, don't roll your eyes! I like this stuff!

Still, I think I'm firmly on the tech side of the equation now. Management is for other people. I make a horrible manager. For one thing, organization is not my strong point. Two, like most true engineers/geeks I tend to flip that bit in my head that records "You are an idiot" pretty easily. That makes it tough to manage other people without sounding like a dick:)

Get Smart

Sue and I saw Get Smart last night. Funny movie. Steve Carell is hilarious.

And when did Anne Hathaway become hot?! Lots of leg for the guys who like that, although when Steve Carrell kissed her it did feel a little weird (and not the good weird in my happy place).

Then there is this shot which is so quick you can't even really see it in the movie. But leave it to the internet to get a still shot of it up a day after the movie is out. Apparently the devil wears sexy underpants!

Wilhelm Scream

I was reading on the Freakonomics blog the other day about the "Wilhelm Scream", one of the the most repeated stock sound effect in movies. Watch this video for a bunch of examples:

One missle too many

NYT: In an Iranian Image, A Missile Too Many

Scroll to the bottom of this article for an amusing look at why you can't always trust pictures, even when they appear in the LA Times.

401(k) blues

God damn it... I got my 401(k) quarterly statement today and man did it suck. It looked something like this (numbers made up):

Totval value: X
Total deposits: $1000
Change in share values: -$1050
New total value: X - $50

SON OF A BITCH!

Bisexual Music

I know its been out for forever, but I can't believe I haven't commented on Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs

I love this song!

Any music that encourages bisexual curiosity in women is automatically "awesome" in my book. Its a shame more music doesn't take this tack.

Note the important thing about this song is the curiosity. I don't like lesbians. They're useless to me. I like ladies who are into dudes but are OK with occasionally making out with a girl if they are drunk enough or its their man's birthday:)

Yet another missed post

Dang it this whole posting every day thing is HARD!

I've got nothing to post today. Nothing at all. Maybe tomorrow.

Off to Ohio

Had a lot of fun at Mike and Joyce's yesterday. And lets just forget that I cried out like a girl when I was zapped by Jay's machine (did that sound dirty to anyone else?)

Sue and I are off to Ohio today for my nephew's birthday. Should be fun, except for the whole "I have to get up at 5:00am to drive down" crap.

On the plus side, I'm up early enough for McDonald's breakfast! mmmmm......McGriddles.....so bad for me and soooo delicious...drool.

Darwin Still Hard at Work

AP: Teen Decapitated at Six Flags amusement park

I would feel sorry for the kid, but really its just natural selection hard at work. Any retard stupid enough to have "hopped two fences and wandered into a restricted area where he was decapitated by the Batman roller coaster" really shouldn't be reproducing.

I like this part especially:

"All authorities know is that the teen hopped the fences to take the shortest route to the Batman ride from where he was..."

Fucking genius.

By the way: how the hell do you not notice the roller coaster car barreling at you at 50 miles an hour? Wouldn't you at least think, "hey, I wonder what all these big metal tubes are for? Maybe I should look around BEFORE I walk under them."

Abridged Indiana Jones 4

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script

Hilarious!

Real Evolution in a Lab

Biology was always my worst science subject (physics for the win!). But this was just too interesting not to post:

arstechnica.com : Tracking adaptation as bacteria evolve

A scientist with way more patience then I could ever muster has been tracking the evolution of 12 strains of E. Coli in his lab since 1988. He has now had over 44,000 generations play out.

The most fascinating thing was a change in one of the cell lines at around 33,000 generations:

The bacteria are growth-constrained by low levels of glucose, and most lines have evolved so that they burn through the glucose as quickly as possible, then wait for the next daily infusion. About 33,000 generations in, however, one line of bacteria did something else entirely: it began to digest the large amounts of citrate present in the media. This is more startling than it sounds, as E. coli is sometimes defined by its inability to metabolize citrate.

So now we have real scientific proof that a trait can evolve in a organism that wasn't present before through only mutation. That's a HUGE deal for the evolution camp.

Makes me want to run out and buy this shirt from xkcd.com:

Californication

(Can you tell its summer and we are trying out different shows to fill the NetFlix void?)

Another show we just finished watching is Californication.

Another show that I just love. Its witty, dry, angry, and sexy; full of characters that hate themselves, ruin their own lives, but always have something interesting to say. Watch it. You'll love it.

Diary of a call girl

New show to watch on Showtime: Secret Diary of a Call Girl

One word to describe it: SEXY!



First off, we all know about my fetish for British girls, especially when they say "knickers". That's just plain hot.

Second, its about a call girl who actually likes sex and is just happy to be paid to do it! DOUBLE HOT!!!

And finally, there is all the dressing up sexy, dirty talk, and generally hot interactions with the clients.

Oh how I love this show.

Missing Post

Yea, I missed posting yesterday. Sue and I atteneded one of my cousin's weddings yesterday and I just plain forgot in the hurry to get there on time.

It was a a great wedding. And we learned about a new and interesting group call The Vitiaim String Quartet. They are a string quartet (duh) that perform covers of various pop songs. For example, the parents walked down the aisle to the sound of Guns and Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" by a string quartet. At dinner we listened to several DMB songs covered by them as well.
Their music is available on iTunes if you are interested in checking it out.

UPDATE: They also have their own web site: http://www.vitaminrecords.com/web/page.asp?pgs=products&catid=20

Parents and God

It finally happened today. I was talking to my Mom and for whatever reason, the subject came up of whether I believe in God.

Ah crap...

I told that I'm just not sure. Even that (which is probably widely optimistic in describing my outlook) caused my Mom to pause for several seconds before laying down the "you know you won't be going to heaven if you don't believe" speech.

Ah crap...

I don't know where I am. But I do know that people who are SO DAMN SURE make me uncomfortable. Maybe because I'm jealous. Maybe because I question how anyone can be so sure of something like that. Maybe because I used to be that person.

BAH...

Economic Stimulus Check

We FINALLY got our economic stimulus check this week. Apparently the fact that I mailed in a check for what I owed as opposed to using direct deposit combined with the fact I always send my tax return in around April 12th ("but...but...It's my money!") means we were last on the list of people to get a check.

Since we owed a bunch, we got $1200 bucks. I'm trying to come up with something cool to buy with this. Any suggestions?

Things I already thought of and rejected:

1) Bribe Mike to steal me a penguin from the zoo - Penguins are dead to me thanks to their association with a certain team from Pittsburg.

2) Stuff for you - I'm WAYYYYY too selfish for that:)

3) Knight Rider GPS - Cool, but automatically disqualified for its association with "the Hoff".

4) Some sort of canon I can use to scare childern off the lawn - and maybe get them to turn their damn radio's down.

Come on readers! Think!

One of my Crazies

Sue and I have always joked that the way to stay together is to expose the other person to your crazy a little bit at a time. Below is an example of one of my crazies that I managed to hide from Sue for a few years.

That's right. At least in the comfort of my own home, I nearly always sort them out into equal sized piles before eating them. If they don't add up to even numbers, I'll eat them one at a time until they are equal numbers. Then, I will eat one from each color until they are all gone; repeat from the bag as long as I can.

Sue finds it hilarious that even if she messes the piles all up, I will inevitably resort them before eating again even though it makes no sense why I do this:)

Corrupting Youth

Fun story: Last weekend Sue's mom and step dad flew out to Vegas, so we volunteered to keep Sue's two sisters with us for the weekend.

Of course, I also got roped into PC repair duty (it happens. I'm sure whenever anyone has a sick penguin, they bring it to Mike). We ran to Best Buy to buy a few things for the PC and while we were there, Sue and I picked up the latest Seether disc. Being the inpatient folk that we are, we popped it into the CD player on the way home to listen to it.

The first three songs play on the drive home. All are pretty tame and I'm not really thinking too much about the lyrics when the fourth song starts.

And now the funny part:

We've just gotten off the freeway. The first verse is pretty quiet and we've come to stop waiting to turn. Suddenly the chorus of the fourth song starts up. The lyrics are something like this:

"FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME! Dig it up and whore me out. FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME!"

Even better: We didn't think about the fact that the chorus would repeat again in about 1 minute later:)

Even even better: Our car stereo has had an issue for years where sometimes the volume knob does the OPPOSITE of what you want it do. When the second verse started, this was one of those times;)

iPhone Geek

Konrad needs one of these for all his lady friends...


http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/ladies/a581/

Girls LIKE to be treated that way

NewScientist: Bad Guys Really Do Get the Most Girls

First off: You just know the guys who set up this study were just dumped for some guy on a motorcycle or some asshole in a band.

Second off: Apparently I'm 1/3 evil.

From the article:

The [evil] traits are the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism...People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators.

Narcissism? Check:)

But being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life, says Peter Jonason at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. "We have some evidence that the three traits are really the same thing and may represent a successful evolutionary strategy."

Note to self: Try being slightly more evil and see what happens. I'll need do some charting of course to see if it works. And a control of some sort. Where did I put my evil copy of Excel and that good twin again...

Work Work Work

It's been a while since I last bitched about work. I'm a little afraid you all think that I have this perfect job where I am stress free, working in my underwear at home, making a bunch of money, and then shut it all off whenever I want.

Sadly, that about as far away from the truth as you can get without approaching from the other side.

Like any job, I have good days and bad days. Lately it seems like I have WAY more bad days then good though. And it all boils down to one reason:

I fucking hate Matt.

Matt is the sort of developer that makes every other developer want to cock punch him...repeatedly...with a 2x4....that's on fire. Matt is one of the only people on Earth that given to chance to kill him without anyone finding out, I would really do it.

Its not that Matt isn't smart; oh how I wish it was that simple. Instead, Matt is a really smart guy who has the managerial skills of a rabid bear and the social skills of 3rd grader.

Good example: Yesterday I had a conversation with Matt that went something like this:

Matt: I think we should rename everything in the project to use this format < some technical garbage >

Me: We could I guess. I think this other format is simpler though, and we already have a bunch of code that uses it.

Matt: Really? Are you sure you we shouldn't just use my naming convention.

Me: Yes really. The current names are fine.

Matt: <long pause> OK. I'll ask some other people and we can talk about it later.

Translation: I don't like your answer, so I'm going to change the spec anyways and force you to change everything later.

And this is how it is with every decision on the project. Matt is one of those guys that can't let stand any decision that wasn't the one he would have made, even if the decision is really fine in the grand scheme of things. Things like naming internal tools, internal code layout, table formats: everything has to be "Matt's way" or it is wrong.

I fucking hate Matt.

Blogging

My lack of blogging lately has made me angry. Angry and bitter that I can't be more funny/clever on a regular basis. So once again, here I am pledging to write one blog every day for 30 days. We all know its a lie. But play along for a while. Maybe start a pool about how long I can really write a blog a day. Maybe encourage me. Whatever turns you on.

Creepy with a capital C

Custom Creature Taxidermy - Fantasy



WTF! Taxidermy isn't creepy enough already? We had to creepy it up some more?

<shivers uncontrollably>

That is just plain f$%ked up. Who on this earth would want to create those sorts of things as a job?

And this from the website:

"This artist deals with death, in what is considered by most, an unconventional manner. She does not view a dead animal as disgusting or offensive. She feels that all creatures exhibit beauty in death, as well as in life, and pays homage to them by reincarnating them in her works of art."

I see. So the way you express the beauty of their death is to rearrange and mix all their parts with the parts of several other animals into something straight out of a Stephen King novel?

Fucking weird.

Lack of blogging

There has been a severe lack of blogging lately, and I have only me to blame. We've had a whole bunch of interesting things going on to. We've just been too lazy to write anything.

Quick run down:

* Worked a ton of hours
* Had Paul here for several days of Wii playing and general guy time.
* Went to the Detroit Electronic Music Festival.
* Baked to 350 degrees at a Tiger's game
* Started watching Big Love
* Realized I NEVER want 3 wives
* Offered Sue and her two sisters to Jay in return for Jenn and a pair of mules at Joyce's birthday

And that's just what I can remember off the top of my head.

Cool game (not pitiful attempt to cover Penguins shame)

Want to see if you can balance the budget better than the fat-cats and slim-cats in Warshington? Here's your flash-based chance:

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/features/budget_hero/

GO the WINGS!!!

Woot! They did it and won the Stanley Cup! I love hockey, ecspecially when Detroit or MSU wins!!!

Sex! (and the City)

Sue and I went and saw Sex and the City this weekend. I really owed her for Indiana Jones, plus the 100 other action movies I have taken her too without any girly movies to offset.

First off, I was one of ten men in the whole packed theatre. Seriously. And as a man if you have never been in a room with 150 women vs. ten guys, let me just tell you it can be a little scary. I was worried I would be clawed to death if I laughed at the wrong moment.

All in all it was an enjoyable movie. Lots of girl power moments of course, but I laughed plenty and left thinking it was just like the TV show (which I liked), but an hour longer. Sadly, it did have one naked penis shot that I could have lived without. And what can only be described as the fakest tits I have ever seen ("um, aren't those supposed to, you know, move and stuff?").

Also: Sue thought my poll from this weekend was sexiest, so I've added one for the ladies as well.

Fellatio to Hilter

I found this fun game the other day while trolling around slashdot.org (which by the way has the geekiest site name ever). Basically, it finds the click path between any two articles in Wikipedia as of March 3rd, 2008. According to the guy you wrote this application, it takes an average of 4.573 clicks to reach any article in Wikipedia from anywhere else.

For example, the link path between "fellatio" and "Hilter" is

Fellatio-> Condom->2003->Human shield->Hilter

Amusing to say the least;)

How to break a condom

http://arstechnica.com/journals/science.ars/2008/05/21/robo-gigolo-discloses-the-nature-of-condom-failure

Durex scientists built a sex robot to try to figure out why condoms break. The article actually has a picture of it too!

Take note! This is the important part: Their conclusion was the only way to really break a condom is to use one without enough lube. Yet another great reason to use plenty of lube.

The weirdest thing about this article is that it mentioned that they figured out the issue based on condoms that people had returned. What sort of sick, sick person saves a used broken condom and then returns it to the manufacturer? Who the hell are these people?

Indiana Jones and the Sucky Movie

Paul, Sue, and I all went and say Indiana Jone and the Temple of the Crystal Skull last Friday. As you can guess from the title of this blog, our experience was less than stellar.

It sucked. It sucked for a whole host of reasons. More than I can even count.

1) Physics. Seriously. I don't ask much from my action movies. All I ask is that you be consistent. You know; if something is so magentic that when I throw it in the air it shoots across the room, it should be that way when it is in my pocket as well.

2) Monkeys: Yes, that's right. Monkeys attack Nazis, and only Nazis. Just saying that out loud should be enough to let you know something about this movie.

3) Guns vs. a Whip: How the fuck do a bunch of people with guns not kill a dude with a whip?

4) Generally bad script: Its not even that acting was that bad. The script was horrible. A barrage of one liners followed by huge elaborate scenes built around those one liners.

Up North Photos

FYI: I've uploaded all our pictures from the Up North trip last weekend to my myspace account.

Inspirational Posters For a Tuesday

Happy, happy, happy

Happy anniversary to us!!

Today we celebrate 7 years as man and wife. Go us!! I love you more and more everyday Eric!!!

Quote of the Day

Sue: "You're my sugar daddy!"

Me: "I'm not your sugar daddy. At best, I may be your Splenda daddy."

Summer Tan Lines

Just so everyone is prepared when they see me in shorts this summer:)

Mike's Birthday Photos

I uploaded all our photo's from Mike's birthday to my myspace account

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=44780954&albumId=1699899

Not the Bradys

This post requires one of those warning labels that Konard posted last month:

Not the Bradys XXX Trailer (NSFW)

What is really scary is that this is not just a funny trailer someone whipped up. Its a honest to God full length porn movie!

Wikipedia Editors Never Been Laid

I was looking at the Wikipedia article for foreplay yesterday because of this xkcd comic, and I laughed out loud when I read the following needed a citation.

Stimulation can be achieved by mouth, hands, sex toys like dildos or vibrators, or common household objects like feathers or ice cubes [citation needed]

I was sorely tempted to add "[5]: Any porn ever made" as the citation:)

Tournament of Hotties Winner

You may recall a post last month about a "Tournament of Hotties". Well, they have a winner:

Tournament of Hotties Champion - Hayden Panettiere

What? WHAT????

Don't get me wrong. I like a hot chick who wears a cheerleader outfit in a sci-fi show as much as the next geek. But COME ON!

I'm sorry, but if I had to choose between Hayden Panettiere and, say, Elisha Cutbert or Eva Longoria or even Adriana Lima, Hayden Panettiere would be given the highest number from my "take a number for sex" device (I'd still do her of course. I just wouldn't want to waste my best stuff on her).

Also, what the fuck is that picture of her licking the Stanley Cup? That's not hot (note: picture of her licking a woman's clothed boob near the bottom: HOT!)

The Kroger Variety Hour

I was shopping around Kroger today and I came across this sign.

Somehow I immediately imagined a TV show where pies perform various song, dance, and talent routines.

And then I thought, "that's the dumbest thing you have ever thought of".

And then I thought, "Is it? Or is it the most delicious thing you have ever thought of!"

BLOG, part 2

Another blog of our weekend adventures. Sunday night we went to see My Chemical Romance at The Fillmore (formerly The State Theater) in Detroit. It was freakin awesome! They put on a great show! They remind me of Smashing Pumpkins and that is why I love them!! Of course I think the lead singer Gerard Way is a cutie so I didn't mind staring at him all night. He is very animated when he performs too. We had main floor seats but we stood in the section that did not involve moshing. Why do people mosh? It looked very painful and idiotic. Anytime your junk and head are in immediate danger is not a good time!! But I digress...

It was a lot of fun and they played all of my favorite songs. Eric and I dressed in our favorite black clothes so we could blend in ;) And we were not the oldest people there. There were quite a few people are age that went to see the concert plus all of the parents that took there kids. Plus we got to drink too!

We also met one of the coolest and cutest 7 year olds ever! I hope my kids are like him. His mom took him to the concert because he loves MCR. He was dressed in all black with a white and black neck tie. His mom said he is very smart and very artistic and he just started listening to the band on his own. He started listening to the Ramones when he was 5 and he is an up and coming talented artist.

BLOG!!

I couldn't think of a title, sue me!

Eric and I have had an action packed weekend so I am writing 2 blogs to recap! Friday night we were bored and went to dinner and a movie. We saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" with Jason Segel, one of our favorite actors from one of the greatest shows ever, "How I Met Your Mother". It also has Mila Kunis from "That 70's Show"; we are glad she got another job. It also had many other funny actors and actresses in it.

This was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while. It was funnier than Super Bad and I would say a tad funnier than Knocked Up! Go see it! And watch How I Met Your Mother too! You will not be sad!

Fanboys

Is it wrong that I both want to see this movie and BE these peoples?



And why must Star Wars and Star Trek fans always fight? Shouldn't our nerdiness bring us together instead of break us apart?

Back home

Hello all,

Eric and I just got back from our friend Nicole's wedding in Houston, Texas. That is another state we have visited. The weather was beautiful. Most of the weekend it was sunny and 70's. Mmmm warmth... We had a lot of fun. Mike, Joyce, Kien and Courtney were able to go to the wedding too so that was even better.

Eric and I rented a car and got to drive a Pontiac G6 all weekend. I loved the car; it had a sun roof! Of course, Mike copied us and rented the same car ;) I guess it is popular for rentals.

Houston looked like Michigan. Trees everywhere. They had lots of Mexican restaurants though. They say that everything is bigger in Texas, except for their road signs!!! Argh. I also must say that they end parties too early. The wedding had to end at 10:00pm, what is that??? So of course we continued on at a local bar ;)

Here are our pics. Our camera died just before the reception so we are missing those and some of our pics are fuzzy so we need a new camera. Guess that will be our next purchase. Overall it was good food, lots of drinking, and good friends!!!

Clintion Shooting in Church

Does anyone else read the headline for the following article and think it wasn't written very well:

Clinton: 'Not relevant' last time I went to church, fired gun

It sounds like they are questioning her about the last time she performed a drive by at a church:)

(Note: I stole the idea for this blog from Sue. I'm sorry)

Daily Caffiene Protects the Brain

BBC News: Daily caffeine 'protects brain'

From the article:

Coffee may cut the risk of dementia by blocking the damage cholesterol can inflict on the body, research suggests. The drink has already been linked to a lower risk of Alzheimer's Disease, and a study by a US team for the Journal of Neuroinflammation may explain why.

Given how much caffiene I consume in a given day, it is possible that my brain will NEVER die. I imagine I'm going to end up like one of those talking heads in a jar from Futurama:)

Things OK as long as they are Addictive and Dangerous

NY Times: Bill to Regulate Tobacco Moves Forward

So I'm perusing this article just to see what sorts of regulations they are planning on when I hit this golden nugget of a quote from John Dingell, a representative from my state:

Representative John D. Dingell, a Michigan Democrat, acknowledged that the bill was not perfect. “In a perfect world, we’d ban all cigarettes,” he said. “But the hard fact of the matter is that there are a lot of jobs depending on this. And more importantly, there are a lot of people out there who are addicted to this and they've got to have their fix.”

Apparently this guy is a complete dipshit.

First, he basically said that he is OK with dangerous products being released to people if jobs are on the line (asbestos isn't so bad, right?). Secondly, isn't that second part just a good reason to make every drug legal? After all, there are plenty of people who "got to have their fix" of crack everyday. Why don't we apply the same logic to that?

Wisconsin People are Obsessed with the Packers

I'm in class today helping my employer's education services group demo some new stuff we are doing to process forms. As an example, they downloaded the Wisconsin Income Tax form (see here).

Look at this screenshot I took of the bottom of the first page and tell me that is not just a little crazy.

Tournament of Hotties

If your like me and you don't care that much about basketball, you may find all this NCAA hype a little much. Luckily, there is another tournament going on that may be a bit more interesting to you ;)

subwaychatter.com: 2008 Tournament of Hotties

(Warning: Its not unsafe safe for work per say, but it does have a lot of pictures of scantly clad girls. Surf at your own risk. Also, the site provider Yahoo will randomly block the site every once in a while for using too much bandwidth.)

Here are my picks:

Movie Bracket:

ELISHA CUTHBERT v JESSICA BIEL - No contest. If I ever get around to building a sexbot, its going to look exactly like Elisha Cuthbert.

JESSICA ALBA v KATE BECKINSALE - Jessica Alba never really did it for me (except that scene with the whip in Sin City). Meanwhile, Kate Beckinsale was in Underworld as a bad ass vampire chick. HOTNESS.

Overall winner: Elisha Cuthbert

TV Bracket:

EVA LONGORIA v HAYDEN PANETTIERE - Tough one for me. Hayden Panettiere has that whole Sci-fi babe thing going for her, which is awesome in my book. On the other side, Eva Longoria is pure Latino hotness. Have to go with Eva on this one.

VANESSA MARCIL v STACEY KEIBLER - Honestly, I didn't have any idea who either of these women were. I had to look them both up. Vanessa Marcil is from Las Vegas, and Stacey Keibler is from the WWE. Neither really does anything for me, but if I have to vote I guess I would give it to Stacey Keibler.

Overall winner: Eva Longoria

Music Bracket:

JESSICA SIMPSON v CANDICE HILLEBRAND - No question here. Although I would demand that Jessica Simpson not ruin the sex by speaking.

SHAKIRA v CARRIE UNDERWOOD - Another tough one. I think Carrie Underwood is prettier overall, but Shakira has the hips and flexibility thing, not to mention the non-country music sound, so I'm giving it to her.

Overall winner: Jessica Simpson

Modeling Bracket:

GISELLE v ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - Just for being so pretentious as to have only one name, I'm giving it to Alessandra Ambrosio. Plus, I don't think that Giselle has the prettiest face.

ADRIANA LIMA v MARISA MILLER - Adriana Lima no question. I've had a huge crush on her ever since I first saw her in a Victoria Secrets ad!

Overall winner: Adriana Lima

Bal En Blanc

Bal En Blanc kicked my ass this year. I feel like crap and just want to lie down and curse the sun for being so bright....

More to come later.

New Five Dollar bill

Look at all this pink and purple!



Our money sure is gay...

Cost of Medicine == Perceived Value

The Freakonomics blog has a fascinating blurb about a study on the placebo effect (by the way, this blog is really good most days if you like econ and/or understanding why people make the decisions they do . If you like that sort of thing, check it out).

NYTimes: More Expensive Placebos Bring More Relief

From the article:

The subjects were given an initial series of electric shocks and asked to rate the pain they felt after each shock. The subjects were then allowed to take a placebo pill that they were told was similar to codeine. In fact, the pill had no direct medical benefit at all. While half of the patients were told that their (false) treatment cost $2.50 per pill, the other half were told that their pill had been discounted to $0.10 per pill. They were then given a second series of electric shocks, and once again, asked about how much it hurt.

While 85 percent of the patients taking the $2.50 pill reported that the second set of shocks were less painful, only 61 percent of those taking the (identical!) $0.10 pill reported the shocks to be less painful. So the more expensive the pill, it seems, the larger its perceived effect — even when the pill actually has no medical effect!

Just goes to show how much the "you get what you pay for" mentality is ingrained in us.

How do I contribute to America?

Like most states, Michigan allows drivers to select a custom license plate in order to benefit specific charities. Some of them make a lot of sense, like dontating to a children's fund, veteran's fund, or a fund to protect wildlife hbitat.

All well and good until I came across this one:

According to the Michigan Secretary of State, this plate raises funds for "Proud To Be American". Is anyone else confused?

Scarlett Johansson For Sale

Buy A Date With Scarlett Johansson

Every guy is thinking the same thing:

1) Scarlett Johansson is offically a whore.

2) I can think of all sorts of ways that she could...entice...a lot of money for this charity.

3) When she says you will be her "escort", is she talking about the sorts of "escort" services that advertise on CraigsList and the back of the Metro Times? (oh I do hope so)

4) How much do I have in my bank account again?

Bad Idea

From The New York Times:

Fla. and Mich. Governors: Give Us Our Delegates

Florida and Michigan are demanding that either the DNC accept the results of their elections or pay to have them run a new election.

Now I know I am betraying my own state by saying this, but there is no way the DNC should give in to this pressure. Michigan and Florida both knew what the party rules said about moving the date of your primary. Hell, members from the state party helped draft and approve the rules!

The bottom line is they knew the consequences and they ignored them.

Change the rules for them now, and you can bet that in the next election both parties would have a full on revolt on their hands where every state would move their primaries forward knowing that the rules aren't going to be enforced anyways. That way leads to chaos.

Worse, you are really punishing Obama for following the rules the party set forth (no campaigning in these states, take your name off the ballot, etc). That just doesn't seem fair. It would be like changing the number of delegates that Rhode Island gets from 21 to 121 now that the election is over there.

Bottom line: It sucks my voice was not heard in the Democrat primary, but I don't blame the DNC. I blame my state legislature. You should too.

Tell me you Love Lost

Sue and I have just finished the first season of the HBO series Tell Me You Love Me. I generally like the show's deep characters and interesting take on married life, but it has a tendency to have these really unnecessarily long / uncomfortable sex scenes. Its hard to describe, but imagine if late night Cinemax skin flicks actually had deep characters and a plot and some interesting things to point out about the world.

The best part is that Sonya Walger is on the show. That's both really good and really bad.

Its good because:

• She is incredibly hot.
• She is desperate for a baby, so she is constantly seducing her husband to do her.

Its bad because:

• She also plays Penelope on Lost. I cannot watch Lost without picturing the Penelope character totally naked. Do you know how hard it is to take anyone's dramatic scenes seriously when you are picturing them naked?

Spoiler Alert

You know how I keep telling everyone, "I'm just not sure how a Democract can lose this year..."

I remember now:

CNN: Ralph Nader enters presidential race

Review: Neuromancer

I just finished reading Neuromancer by William Gibson, a classic sci-fi book from 1984 that pratically defined cyberpunk as a genre.

This is what books are supposed to be: deep, thought provoking, with intricate plots and even more intricate sub plots. If you like cyberpunk at all, I would recommend you go pick up a copy of this book (or just borrow mine). Also, according to IMDB they are making a movie of this book for release in 2009 that will star Hayden Christensen, so you know that will suck. Trust me that you want to read the book instead before that ruins your outlook on it.

Useless trivia: Neuromancer is where we got the word "cyberspace" from, widely used to describe the internet.

Gamer Comic FTW!

http://ctrlaltdel-online.com/

Ctrl-alt-del is a hilarious web comic with both really good art and really funny comics. If you are a gamer and you're not already reading this, get with the program already!

Start with this one and read until at least the current comic to get a feel for it:

http://ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20080202

Everyone gets to be a Victim

CNN Video - Shooter's girlfriend: 'He was a victim, too'

Text version

This is what is wrong with America. Everyone is a fucking victim.

If you walk into a crowded hall and randomly shot six people for NO FUCKING REASON and then kill yourself, I REFUSE to classify you as a victim.

And then she has to gall to say about the families of the slain victims, "I know what they're going through". What a fucking ego-nut. You're boyfriend just killed someone's son or daughter and you are going to pretend that because you were dating their killer for 2 years you know what that is like?

Events like this make me think gun control laws either need to be much stronger or we should just get rid of them all together. This half ass crap we have now is a joke.

Bob and Bella on the web

As part of Pedigree's yearly adoption drive, they have formed this mosaic made out of dog pictures. Anyone can add their pooch to it. I added Bob and Bella to it and it is pretty cool to check out. All of the individual pics make a large dog picture.

http://www.dogsrule.com/03Adoption/Million%20Dog%20Mosaic/Default.aspx?zjxj=01500004W1073469W602W0#empty

Bob's code: bob16
Bella: bella113

A Rose by Any Other Name...

Sue: "What's the male equivalent of roses on Valentines day?"

Me: "Beer. Or maybe tools."

What do you think the equivalent is?

Sex Toys Available in Texas again

Detroit Free Press: Federal appeals court overturns Texas sex toys ban

Can someone explain to me why a state was trying to tell people what they could / could not put in any of their holes in the privacy of their homes in the first place?

Personally, I fully believe that a "Right to Insert Things" should have been listed in the UN's Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Guess I know what my next letter writing campaign will be about:)

Random Trivia: Of course, Alabama is now the only state in the Union where the sale the sex toys is illegal. The lady suing the state to get back the right to sell them owns a "sex shop" in Huntsville, AL that Sue and I used to visit from time to time (mostly for gag and 3rd anniversary gifts).

Fate of TV

The New York Times has an nice summary article up about which shows will get any new episodes before the fall now that the writers strike is over:

NY Times: Strike Fallout - A Complete Guide To How Your Favorite Shows Are Affected

People Who Should Not Be Allowed to Vote

Super Tuesday Not For Bexar Voters

From the article:

SAN ANTONIO -- All the talk about Super Tuesday apparently caused confusion for many voters in Bexar County.

More than 1,000 calls poured into the Bexar County Elections Department on Monday from voters wanting to know where they could vote in Tuesday's primary.

Problem is -- Texas isn't holding a primary on Tuesday, like more than 20 states are.

I'm being 100% serious here: If you are not smart enough to determine when your primary is scheduled for, we should take away your voter registration card right now and BURN it.

Update: Sue pointed out to me when she got home that it is "Super Fat Tuesday!"

GoDaddy.com Beaver

In case you forgot to check it out after the Super Bowl:

Godaddy.com: Danica Patrick Exposed

I can see why that was rejected by FOX :)

Ninja Cheerleaders

I can't believe this is a real movie coming out this summer: Ninja Cheerleaders

And yet, there it is on IMDB: IMDB: Ninja Cheerleaders

This is the synopsis from the web site:

April, Courtney and Monica are three beautiful, intelligent and tough college freshmen. They are finishing their first semester at Los Lomas Malas community college, the armpit of community college's. They must do well on finals to gain entrance to an Ivy League University, cheer at the big game and rescue their Sensei, who has been kidnapped by the mob, all by midnight so they can compete in the all-city strip off with the hopes of winning college money. All the while, dodging nosy cops, keeping their parents at bay, dealing with a perverted coach and smiling, talking or fighting their way through a slew of odd characters.

Seriously? That's the plot of the movie I would have written in sixth grade. Who the hell is green-lighting films in Hollywood these days?

Drunk Blog 2008!

Sue is awesome! She came up with the name of this blog!!!!!!

We watched Live Free or Die Hard today on.....DUN DUN DUN.... our new 50" Plasma TV! And up-converter DVD player! OH YEA!!! I had a hard on through the entire movie!!!!!! FUCK YA!!!! I WANT TO HUG THE TV!

I'm drunk on Merlot!!!! Yuppie drunk fest!! Stupid french for having the last letter always be silent.

Now we are watching Groove. People are high in a much higher resolution.

Sue: "I DON'T NEED Internet Explorer HELP!!! YOU NEED HELP!!!!!!"

Sue: "Don't quote me all the time! Come up with your own funny stuff..."

Considering how drunk I am, I'm really impressed by how well I can type right now.

Sue: "HELLO CUTE BOYS!!!!!"

Sue: "Fuck you DISNEY! I FOUND A WAY AROUND YOUR DAMN SCHEMES! FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL COMMERICAL! FUCK YOU!"

I used caps lock too much in this blog

Presidental Ballot Thoughts

My favorite quotes from my Sue yesterday:

'Who the fuck names their kid "Mitt" anyways?'

'Damn you Democratic party for making me vote Republican so that my vote would count!'

'I felt dirty when they put an 'R' next to my name.'

Select a Candidate

Still not sure who to vote for and want to base your decision on more than 5 second sound bites and who has the best hair? Try out NPR's Select a Candidate tool.

According to this I should vote for Edwards or Obama.

You don't want to get sand in there.

From Ars Technica: Circumcision doesn't affect sexual satisfaction, performance

Thank God, cause I imagine putting that back on is a BITCH!

Besides, I never believed it could really get that much better than it already feels during the "happy moment". Hell, much more and I would probably be passing out during it:) Which no one wants. That last thing your girl wants when you hit the big O is for you to head butt her (picture scene from Superbad where Seth passes out into Jules head) ;)

Although that would get me out of cuddling...

Second Bar Olympics

My co-workers and I held our second bar-Olympics yesterday. It was testament to both our need to be men sometimes and our desperate need to get the f#$k out of the house.

Recap:

11:00am - Gather for events in Novi. We settle on 5 events: Darts, pool, bowling, hoops, and skee-ball.

11:30am - Lunch at On the Border. This is a decision that will haunt us the rest of the day.

12:00am - Before we get too inebriated, we decide that we should start with the event that will require the most coordination: darts. Surprisingly, due to a combination of luck and me being a complete point whore who can hit 20s pretty easily, I manage to get 2nd place in this event. 2 beers and more than a few questions of "why oh why did we choose Mexican food for lunch?", and we are off.

1:00pm - Stop at Mongolian BQ for cheap beer. We eat here enough that we all bought 28oz mugs that we can refill for $2.50 with whatever is on tap whenever eat. Drain them and the lizard (twice; I have the bladder of an 85 year old man) and it's time for more events at Lucky's.

1:30pm - Round robin tournament of pool. My alcohol tolerance is clearly not what it used to be. Last year by this point I was just drunk enough that my pool skill was at its height. This year, I'm WAYYYYY past that point. I can't hit anything that covers more than 1/2 the table, and even then its sad how many I miss. I lose to every one of my co-workers and end up in last in this event.

2:00pm - Three games of Skee-ball. I've sobered up a bit for this event. I win two out of the three games, but end up in second only because the winner got some ridiculous high score on the first game (stupid random doubling of your throws).

2:30pm - Hoops: yea.....We all know I suck at hoops. Lets just move on.

3:00pm - Last event is Bowling. I can tell from my final score that I do way too much bowling on the Wii. And drinking; WAY too many Jack and Cokes by this point. All I can say is that the game is lot different when the ball doesn't weight 6ozs.

So my final score: 2 second place finishes and 3 last place finishes:( boooo!

Per tradition, we took of the tickets we had won during skeeball and hoops and bought a suitable trophy. Last year it was a Dashboard Hula Girl. This year: A stuffed GoBo Fraggle.

We should get the Detroit crew together to try this out. Although we may have to make it guys only. I don't think I could stand the shame of losing to a girl in Hoops or darts:)

New tv show

Eric and I got Showtime after The Tudors started so we just got the first few discs from Netflix this week. What a good show. And the lead actor who plays King Henry VIII is a hotty!! Oh my God!! His name is Jonathon Rhys Meyers and I like his darkness and the roughness of his character. He looked good with a beard even on the show.

Three things I have learned never to discuss with people...

With all the buzz going on lately for the presidential primaries, I'm a little bitter that my vote in the Democrat primary next Tuesday won't even count! Bah. Ah well. I can take some comfort in the fact that if Romney loses here on Tuesday, that will pretty much be the end of his campaign.

Now I just have to decide if I should vote for the Republican I dislike the least (McCain) or if I should vote for the guy who would have the most trouble beating the Democrats (got to go with Hunter here. Who the heck is this guy any ways?).

The guy I don't want to see nominated: Huckabee. I've seen him on the Colbert Report a few times and every time I've thought that, "this is a reasonably smart, charismatic guy who can woo with the best of them". Hell, if he wasn't such an die-hard right wing religious guy, I might even be able to vote for him. This is a guy who could beat a Democrat.

I guess it could be worse. Honestly, if I look over every president in my lifetime, I can't help but notice that when it comes to moral issues and social changes, the president really can't do a hell of a lot. Congress is too divided on the real issues for there to be any real changes to things like gun control, abortion, etc. So the fact of the matter is I'm voting for the guy/gal who will best handle foreign affairs and budget issues. Maybe throw Social Security (yea right...) and universal health care on the pile. But moral and social issues? Not a chance.

Now THAT is drinking!

Seattle Times: Blood-alcohol level of Woodinville driver breaks state record

She blew 0.47%! Holy crap that is impressive. Especially since .35 is the point where most people black out and .40 and above is about the level that 50% of the population would just stop breathing.

The record for highest blood alcohol level in Washington is now held by a 135 lbs 54 year old woman. If I was a man in Washington state, I would be flat out embarrassed by that. Men are supposed to be the ones who drink way too much!

I also like the fact that she had posted bail for another DUI charge THE PREVIOUS DAY!

Post New Years Update

There are multiple videos of me drunk and doing stupid things on the internet. It's like I'm a celebrity now!

Reports of me having sex on New Years Eve have been greatly exaggerated.

We got 15" of snow here at my house on New Years. I had to shovel the driveway just to get my car back on to it. Speaking of snow, the drive home REALLY sucked. It took us an hour and a half for what is normally a 40 minute drive. At several points on I-96, there was only one lane actually plowed. And I'm not sure a plow trunk ever made it to US-23.

Drunk blog

I apologize if the spelling in this blog sucks. I'm sooooooo drunk right now. W00t!!!!!! DRINKING!!!!!! For the win!!!!!!!

I'm going to fuck Sue now. Wish me luck!

We are staying at Mike's house now. This could be weird, but I'm going to just go with whatever I feel like doing; which right now is SEX!!!!!

Christmas for my Wife

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/12/26

Shows we've finished.

You can take LOST and The Sopranos off the list of shows that you can't talk to us about.

LOST drives me insane. It's like the show intentionally try to tell you nothing. Every time you think there is going to be a conversation about anything, you get exactly nothing. Oh I'll watch it because that is the sort of person I am, but I'm still angry about it.

Worst thing is people who told me, "oh, lots of things get answered this season". God damn liars. NOTHING gets explained. Nothing that matters anyways.

Wii vs. PS3

Found by Paul:

Offical Start of Winter

It's officially winter today. Do you know why? I fell on my ass after I slipped on some ice in front of our house for the first time today. Like that first robin the denotes the start of spring, me falling on my butt in front of the neighborhood kids really gets me in the winter spirit...

Good Documentary

I watched a documentary this evening called "Cocaine Cowboys". It's about the cocanine drug trade in Miami during the late 1970s and early 1980s. Its really interesting, especially the parts about how they got the drugs in, just how much money these dealers were making, and how that money changed the entire metro-area.

Something to watch.

Flow Chart to Heaven

From Wikipedia:

I'm not making any judgments about the chart below. The nerd in me just thinks it's awesome that someone made a flow chart to describe the Catholic belief of the afterlife:) Now we just need a sequence diagram of the conversations between us and heaven, and maybe a use case about praying and we will be ready to implement AfterLife (tm) v2.0!

Christmas Party Photos

Photos from the Christmas Party:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wilsone9/

And yes, I know my blog is rapidly devolving into nothing more than a photo gallery. Hopefully some actual thoughts by myself or Sue or even Paul will show up here again at some point soon.

Chicago Trip Pictures

Flicker: Chicago Trip Slideshow