Flags at Half Mast

I noticed today that flags throughout Huntsville are flying at half mast. Does anyone know why? Did someone important die that I didn't read about?

The Dark Tower

I just finished book seven of The Dark Tower series this afternoon (the last book), and I am here to tell you that I officially hate Stephen King. HATE HIM! Hate him with a passion that I had previously reserved only for Shawn Hannity, Michael Savage, Evangelicals, Jack Thompson, and Fear Factor.

I don't want to ruin the books for anyone else, but let me just say that if you are reading a Stephen King book and he tells you that the important point of the story is over and you want to stop reading even though there are only 5 pages left, that the point of a story is the journey, not the ending, blah, blah, blah, you should put the book down and step away from it slowly. In fact, tear those last five pages out and burn them so it will no longer be able to tempt you to just read them. Because otherwise you are going to finish that last page and do what I did:

Scream at the top of your lungs, "NOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CANNOT FUCKING END IT THAT WAY!!!!!! FUCK YOU STEPHEN KING!!!"

And then you will hear a voice that I can only assume is Stephen King's whispering in your ear saying, "See? I told you so."

Another Classic Quote

Another soon to be classic quote from OverheadInTheOffice:

"I am a guacamole of knowledge into which you may dip the nacho of need."

Hooray!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Today is Eric's 27th birthday! I hope that you have a great day today Eric! I love you!

9 Years

I know it is wrong to kiss and tell, but it was 9 years ago today that Sue and I had our first kiss at the little waterfall on the Red Cedar River just south of the Administration building on the Michigan State University campus.

Just wanted to tell her in a public forum that I was so glad she said "yes" to both my first question there ("Would it be alright if I kissed you?") and my second question exactly 3 years later ("Will you marry me?").

Girls of Geek

Just because R asked for it:

http://www.girlsofgeekdom.com/index.php

Not sure I believe these girls are all geeks, but it is nice to dream. And the calendar might be a nice present for that single geek you know.

Programmer Truisms

From the Un-Dynamics of Software Development

1. It is still the Wild, Wild West out here and anything goes.


2. You are the best programmer.


3. Many programmers are intellectual bullies and egomaniacs.


4. The mean time between the time you start speaking and someone flipping the bozo bit (the bit that a programmer flips in their head to stop listening to someone they feel is an idiot) on you is ten seconds.


5. When someone says the schedule is going to be missed, they are never lying.


6. Change is a constant, but people will seldom thank you for changing their code.


7. A lot of bad software is being written by people who don't read.


8. People believe too much of what they read.


9. Authors are not smarter than the rest of us; they just read more.


10. Managers should not make technical decisions, but do.


11. If a manager says I am not technical, be prepared to spend a lot of time explaining things to them so they can make decisions they shouldn't be making.


12. Managers hire experts and ignore them all the time.


13. Messengers get shot more often than not.


14. Leaders have to lead; sometimes you will look behind you and find that someone is actually following.


15. Programmers hate to read another programmer's code; if they volunteer to review your code, it is not to do you a favor.


16. There really are programmers ten times faster than everyone else.


17. Every man is in some way my superior, as long as he doesn't keep reminding me.


18. Programmers are emotionally attached to their code, but never say this out loud.


19. Everyone talks about constructive tension but doesn't want you disagreeing with them.


20. Benevolent dictators build the best software.


21. Decisions are, more often than not, emotional.

Tucson Hiking

I finally got my pictures developed from my hiking adventure to Tucson. This
is the best one of the bunch:

If you look closely, you might even notice that I was in the picture. Now, I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "That Eric is REALLY short". Either that or you are thinking, "That is one big cactus". The second thought is correct. For those who thought the first thought...well...you're an idiot and I'm sorry.

Here another:

That there sure is one giant cactus I'm standing next to at the start of the trail.

<Austin Powers voice>Does that make you horny baby?</Austin Powers voice>

Sexiest woman alive?!?! C'mon!

Um, I am not sure who voted but Esquire magazine named Jessica Biel the "Sexiest woman alive." Eric and I agree that someone was drunk and high when they thought of this or else the magazine was turned down by the real sexy women. I would have to say that Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Garner (pre-pregnancy that is) are the sexiest women alive. If I were a lesbian or bi, I would love to get some of the Angelina action... ;) Those big tasty lips, and that long hair, not to mention the buliging bust... but, I digress ( you are welcome Eric). We do not think Jessica Biel is that hot. She has no boobs! There are many other women that are hotter. I guess we think women are sexy if they are strong, muscular, have big boobs (natural, none of that fake crap that never moves, EWWW) and beautiful. Jessica Simpson, Brittany Spears, Catherine Zeta Jones, Eliza Dushku, etc. What about these Jay and Silent Bob strike back ladies?

Sick Dog

[Currently listening to: Green Day - American Idiot]

Poor Bob. Our dog has some sort of skin bacterial infection that makes him scratch and bite at his skin almost constantly. It is so bad that he has started biting out chunks of hair from his front paws. It makes him look like the undead, as the following picture clearly shows:

On the plus side, Bob spaced out on Benadryl is pretty funny to watch.

Some Trance Links

[Currently listening to: Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral]

Thanks to my pal Sebastian (via Paul. Got to give props for the intro), I've discovered several new sites for downloading some really good hard trance. This makes me a happy developer at work and a happy gamer at home (I tend to kill the background music for most games and pump in whatever trance I'm listening to instead. It makes WoW or Civilizations III a whole new game:) ). Check out:

http://www.tranceaddict.com/livesets.shtml - I especially like the first Paul Van Dyke set on this page.

http://edmm.ca/ - Thanks to Paul and Sebastian, I'm a huge fan of the sets by "Preacher" on this site. They are really good stuff.

http://www.ladybass.net/ - A female DJ from Toronto that I really dig. I don't remember where I found her, which seems odd. Her music is very hard trance/jungle. Actually, if you have ever seen that Strong Bad email on techno, it describes pretty much what her music sounds like (including the obligatory old movie quotes).

http://www.djbolivia.ca/ - One of my co-workers swears by this guy as "software developer friendly" trance. His sets have names like "memory leak" and "exception handler". Not my sound, but whatever.

What's Wrong with these people?

Alabama State Sen. Hank Erwin, R-Montevallo, recently called Hurricane Katrina a punishment from God, saying New Orleans and the Mississippi Gulf Coast "have always been known for gambling, sin and wickedness. It is the kind of behavior that ultimately brings the judgment of God."

So the damage to your fine state of Alabama means what exactly? How about the thousands of people who live in that area but don't support gambling, sin, and wickedness? How about that other hurricane that hit the oh so red state of Texas the other day? Apparently God's aim sucks. Look, if God wanted to punish the gay folks, he would just blast them with a lightening bolt or cause all of their penises to drop off. This "natural disasters as an act of God" horse shit make me think we are still living in a time when we thought lightning was thrown by Zeus from a mountain. Stop being such pretentious ass holes and assuming that you know the will of God.

Of course, its an issue that all Christians have trouble with. How do you reconcile the idea that God is all knowing, all powerful, and loves everyone with any natural disaster? Surely God could have built a world where thousands don't die for no reason greater than warm water in a spin cycle. Its a difficult question. True evil is something that you can perhaps explain as human nature running against God will, but how does one justify natural disasters?

Nothing to Write About

MSU LOST to UofM! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I knew that the whole "our defense sucks but we run up more points that you" stategy was going to fail sooner or later.

I just noticed it has been more than week since our last post, and I still don't really have anything to talk about. I've been insanely busy at work the last couple of days trying to teach our customer how to use our code base so that they can get rid of us without actually telling them how to use our code base. Its stressful and annoying and I hate it. But since I write almost all of my blogs while I am at work reading the news, it effects my output.

Thank God its Friday

I was surfing around at work doing anything but actual work when I ran across the following from Overheard in the Office:

"It's about time to not come to work for a couple of days."

Ramen sister. Ramen.

Today has been just one of those days. First, its casual Friday for everyone but me. Why just me you say? Because I had to deliver our program's monthly review today to our Major, which means dressing in above average business casual. Any day that I am denied dressing like a slacker pisses me off right off the bat. Second, I did not know that I would be delivering said presentation until I got to work this morning, which meant I had to drive back home, change into something presentable, then drive back to work. With my Jeep that mean about $3:). Third, said meeting was 2 hours long of which I spoke for about 10 minutes. The rest was spent spinning my ID badge in various yo-yo like manners and trying my best not to think of anyone naked (engineers...<shudder>)

That's combined to put me in a sour mode that makes work rough. Bah. Just keep telling yourself, "One more hour and I am out of here...59 minutes 50 seconds and I am out of here...".

Pastafarians

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

OK, I'm clearly slipping to have missed such a hilarious parody on the internet for so long. The first time Sue and I read the description of this yesterday we laughed so hard that we cried a little.

Anyways, for those who don't want to go through the trouble of reading the entire site, I'll sum up. In response to the Kanas City school board allowing intelligent Design, a physics student made up his own religion and demanded that Kansas City school board also teach this system. The main tenets are a follows:

• The Universe was created by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster. All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by this being.


• According to the pastafarians, the monster created the world starting with a mountain, trees and a midget and continues to guide human affairs with his "noodly appendage." Heaven is depicted as having a stripper factory and a beer volcano.






• They refuse to use the word "evolution". Instead, they say things like "logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence".


• Their prayers to "Him" are typically ended by "Ramen", instead of "Amen". For example, one of their chants is: "Flying Spaghetti Monster, Pie Saucus Domine, Ramen"


• They believe it is disrespectful to teach beliefs in Flying Spaghetti Monsterism without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia


• Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. The graph below showing the inverse correlation between the pirates and global temperatures proves it!

Napolean Gates

Bill Gates Goes to College

The video is a litte grainy and the sound sucks in places since it is a hand held video taping a projector at Microsoft's developer conference, but it is hilarious if you like Napolean Dynamite.

Slurpee turns 40

Salon.com: The Slurpee at 40

Why must I read articles like this when I am living 300 miles from the nearest 7-11?!?!? Why God! Why?!?! How I miss that rush of completely empty sugar calories, caffeine, brain freeze that only a Coke slurpee can deliver...

According to the article, "Here in the United States the drink is most beloved in Detroit...". Wikipedia also points out that more Slurpees are consumed per year in Detroit then anywhere else in the USA. I think both of these articles must have been based on older data. I'd be willing to wager there was a significant drop in total consumption in that region right around the time Sue and I left:)

University Research Into Stupidity

Backpack designed to generate power from walking

I happen to see this article on Yahoo News about this backpack that researchers at the University of Pennsylvania that can generate electricity just from the act of walking with it. Cool I thought. I could use something like that for my IPod, or my cell phone at just the right moment. But then I got to this:

"Humping along just under 85 pounds (38 kg) of weight in the backpack can produce up to 7 watts of electricity"

85 pounds? 85 POUNDS? Are you kidding? Do you know how many batteries I can carry around and still be under 85 pounds? What ivory tower dumb ass thought this one up? Oh right...University of Pennsylvania ivory tower dumb asses.

Don't forget about the pets.

I love pets! I love my dogs. They are like family. Katrina was a horrific storm and it caused a lot of physical and emotional pain. The humans that stayed down there were just plain stupid. They should have all left. They had four days to get the hell out of dodge. I feel for the pets. They had no choice. They were abandoned and betrayed. Their owners stayed during the hurricane and were able to leave after, if they survived, but the government did not let anyone take pets with them on buses to leave the area. So after the hurricane there were poor, innocent dogs just wandering the disgusting waters of New Orleans looking for a familiar face or for a meal. Pets were drowning in the water because they could not make it to a safe area or they were trapped in homes or tied up by chains. It angers me and it saddens me. All those pets and animals did not need to suffer in this way. The Humane Society is trying it's best to find and rescue as many abandoned pets and animals that they can. Please donate if you can. I commend the Humane society for all of it's work. Adopt a pet if you can to help save some of these animals that need a home and want nothing more than a chance at life and love. I would adopt more dogs if Eric would let me. I think everyone's life would be better with a pet. They love unconditionally and they make you smile at least 1000 times a day.

Labor Day is Confusing

Every year I have the exact same thought on Labor Day:

This is supposed to be the day that we celebrate the labor of all the hard working individuals of this country. How exactly are we "celebrating" labor by all sleeping in and having the day off? :)