Programmer Truisms

From the Un-Dynamics of Software Development

1. It is still the Wild, Wild West out here and anything goes.


2. You are the best programmer.


3. Many programmers are intellectual bullies and egomaniacs.


4. The mean time between the time you start speaking and someone flipping the bozo bit (the bit that a programmer flips in their head to stop listening to someone they feel is an idiot) on you is ten seconds.


5. When someone says the schedule is going to be missed, they are never lying.


6. Change is a constant, but people will seldom thank you for changing their code.


7. A lot of bad software is being written by people who don't read.


8. People believe too much of what they read.


9. Authors are not smarter than the rest of us; they just read more.


10. Managers should not make technical decisions, but do.


11. If a manager says I am not technical, be prepared to spend a lot of time explaining things to them so they can make decisions they shouldn't be making.


12. Managers hire experts and ignore them all the time.


13. Messengers get shot more often than not.


14. Leaders have to lead; sometimes you will look behind you and find that someone is actually following.


15. Programmers hate to read another programmer's code; if they volunteer to review your code, it is not to do you a favor.


16. There really are programmers ten times faster than everyone else.


17. Every man is in some way my superior, as long as he doesn't keep reminding me.


18. Programmers are emotionally attached to their code, but never say this out loud.


19. Everyone talks about constructive tension but doesn't want you disagreeing with them.


20. Benevolent dictators build the best software.


21. Decisions are, more often than not, emotional.