Sunday, January 28, 2007

Tag, five things about me...

Hey all, despite the doubts, here goes for me: =)

1) I was a weird kid (still am). I was deathly afraid of the dark. I slept with a light on until 13 years old or so. I remember watching some kid's show at about 8 years old where there were these monsters that snuck into your room at night and stole your socks (think underpants gnomes, but they looked like mini Grim Reapers to me). I set up elaborate traps with yo yos so that they would go off if these "Sneakers" came into the room.

2) I was also a smart kid (but my imagination did run a bit too wild). Around 5-6 years old, I stopped eating many foods and most meat. My (very eager) mother took me to a therapist to get ideas to help me eat. They gave me an intelligence test, but didn't come up with a score because I was doing well answering questions way above my grade level, but I was getting too frustrated by missing some of them and they stopped the test early.

3) Also, as a kid, I sprained my arm at Disney World. I was about 12-13 and there were these cool one-person motor boats that go around the lake between the major hotels there. I was too young to go on them (you were supposed to be 14), but my dad, in an uncharacteristic display of coolness, lied about my age. I was doing find driving one (do you drive a boat?) until I was coming around a little island and, out of nowhere, WHAM another kid plowed into me with his boat. Looking back, I guess I was lucky not to be hurt worse, but I went to an Orlando hospital where they pronounced me sprained at the scene. It kind of sucked to have a sling at Disney World, but at least I got some good sympathy from family and from Pluto.

4) I played the rabbi in my high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. This was fun and I learned a bit of Hebrew in the process. I think I got the role because I was the only one who tried out who had a beard, but this was silly because the other actors got fake beards put on that were much bushier than my real one. The Drama Club (Thespians) had some wild nerdly hazing to join though. First, you had to memorize a speech from Shakespeare (Hamlet's advice to the players) and then the current members would make you recite it in odd ways. For example, I had to translate it into Spanish on the spot (what’s the Spanish for “periwig-pated” again?), or have to say only every other word, or keep adding marshmallows to your mouth every time you came to the word “the.” I still remember 90%+ of the speech, 10 years later.

5) Although raised Catholic, I can remember the exact moment I stopped believing. I had been part of afterschool Catholic classes (called CCD, which we assumed stood for Catholic Church detention). I had this one wacky instructor who told us that bar codes were the sign of the beast and that every computer has “666” written on the inside multiple times. However, what really sent me over the edge was the conflict with my scientific beliefs. I was just learning about biology and evolution (it’s basically a fact, get over it) when my teacher made his argument against evolution. He said, let’s assume the first astronaut on the moon had found a wristwatch up there and wanted to explain how it got there. An evolutionist would say “oh, it must have evolved the glass face to protect it from harm and the watch band to help it move around.” Whereas the creationist would come up with the simpler (and implied better explanation) that “God put it there.” This was (and probably still is) the dumbest thing I’d ever heard an adult say.

Bonus director’s cut things you might not have known about me:

A) I’ve ridden in a hot air balloon twice. Once in 5th grade my Talented and Gifted class had a field trip where I went with my dad on a hot air balloon. I wasn’t scared of the ride, but I remember being afraid that, if I look directly down, my glasses would fall off and I’d miss the rest of the scenery. Later, for my 8th anniversary dating Sue, I surprised her with a ride (heh heh). It’s pretty frickin sweet….
B) I was straight edge and basically drank no alcohol until about 20.5 years old. As for the time since then? Well that’s covered by a little thing we call the 5th amendment.

3 comments:

Sue said...

I was also afraid of the dark until I was about 16... My older brother liked to watch horror movies when we were home alone, which was a lot when my mom worked, and my mom believed in ghosts and would tell me all kinds of things she saw which scared the crap out of me. I was scared of the upstairs of our house until we moved.

Stupid priests....

Love ya Paul. Good to hear from you.

Eric said...

I was a weird kid (still am).

I can attest that this is true:)

I was also a smart kid

I can also attest that this is still true.

I’ve ridden in a hot air balloon twice.

I want to do that!

I was straight edge and basically drank no alcohol until about 20.5 years old

Was 20.6 years old when you got arrested? :)

Jordan Knol said...

I like that it was "Sneakers" who would steal SOCKS. Are there other articles of clothing you're afraid will come in the middle of the night and swipe your ... OTHER articles of clothing?

You were a great Rabbi, by the way.
~Dizzle
a.k.a. Tevye