Saturday, August 13, 2005

Ramblings of Eric: Part 7 - Current Beliefs

Now that I have waited long enough to ensure that you have all forgotten the contents of my last rambling post, it's time to delve into some REALLY personal stuff. First up: disclaimers.

- The views in this blog are mine. They don't necessarily reflect what Sue or anyone else for that matter believes. They are mine and mine alone.

- I'm not trying to convince anyone that my beliefs are right. That would be a ridiculous waste of all our times.

- If you are just going to post some sort of comment about how my beliefs are wrong because such and such book says so, save us all some time, go away, and get a life while you are at it.

OK, lets start with the big thing right up front: I do think there is some higher power. Some thing beyond just you and me. Don't ask me who or what or where. Just...some thing. But that is about as far as I am willing to commit to right now. I often wonder what it must be like to be so FUCKING sure that your religion is right. My brother (and my parents and grandparents ) would tell you that they are Missouri Synod Lutheran (what I grew up with). Not just Christian. Not even just "Lutheran". I can't figure out whether the Hindus or Buddhists or the whatever have it right, and yet my family members are 100% sure that their particular little sect has it 100% correct. It just pisses me off. I WANT to be that sure. It would so much easier to not question it. Just go with the flow.

But I can't. I just can't anymore. I've learned too much. I've seen too much history of people doing horrible, unspeakable things in the name of religion to be able to just blindly say that the Bible (or whatever spiritual text you are interested in) is 100% accurate. Even my brother would admit that the earliest copy we have is at least 200 AD or so.

How ARE they so sure? What I hate even more than the fact that they (not just my family. I mean the conservative right in general) are so sure is that they confuse my unwillingness to commit to their particular belief to be the equivalent of me saying that they are wrong. I'm not saying they are wrong. If you believe in the Christian God, I 100% support your right and your desire to do so. Just don't make me commit to it. I'm not there. I'm not ready. I've been there, seen it, and said to myself that I'm not sure. There it is again. That FUCKING confusion that permeates everything about this topic.

I've rambled enough for now. I actually feel worse after spilling this one out. Less sure of myself. Fuck it. I'm going to bed.

4 comments:

Sue said...

I like that "Fucking" is bolded and capitalised twice in this blog...

I agree. It is one thing to say you are christian or Jewish, but one tiny sect? I never got how your family or others can say that this tiny little sect, a tiny percentage of this world, is exactly right. How can you say that with something so complex and intricate as religion. It is like you are undermining the God you say you believe in. The world is so complex and yet you choose to believe your little religion is exactly right for an ego boost. They also say that you are going to Hell if you do not believe in all of their rules.

The Christians that do this are all wrong. I have seen so many families have out's because of things like this. Usually half or more of the children of parents this strict that I know end up not believing in Christianity at all or not believing in God at all. See if they would lighten up a little, then maybe they would have more bodies through the turnstile...

R said...

I think that religion, like any other construct of society (market economies, political processes, the self-serve checkout line at Wal-Mart) are susceptible to manipulation by people who are greedy.

Religion is not the common thread of all the terrible shit that has gone on in the world. The common thread is human beings; human nature.

Sometimes it is easy to misinterpret unequivocal faith in a certain religion to be condescending or egotistical. I mean, to be able to say that I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that my faith is the one true faith certainly rings full of ego and lack of acceptance of anything to the contrary, but as long as I'm not forcing you to believe what I do and accepting it as the absolute truth, what's the harm?

Expression of religious faith should, I agree, have its limits. For example, why expose someone to your religion by condeming them? Shouldn't there be a better way to introduce someone to a religion than saying, "Well, if you don't want to go to hell, read this..."?

I don't think it should piss you off that your family has a 100% ardent belief in some kind of faith. You may just be sensitive to this issue, I don't know why, and you take their expression of faith the wrong way.

Religion isn't for everyone. Instead of fighting this clear confusion that you have, why not find something that you ARE 100% sure of - Sue, for instance - and construct and live your life around that keystone?

Sue said...

I agree that the you should believe whatever you want just don't force it on others. You can discuss it, just do it in a neutral way, not believe me or you will die!

As far as Eric's family goes, we question them because they don't even look into other religions and they do not want to have a civilized discussion. If you don't do what they do, then you are going to hell. Plus I question them because it seems like they believe in what they believe in because it is simple. They were all raised this one particular religion and it would be too hard to change religions. I also question their faith because they condemn everyone that goes against their faith, but when they do, they do not say a thing. They are still mightier than us even though we live more by their religion then they do and yet we are evil because we question this sect.

I just question most of the little sects that have developed off of Christianity because they are all dead certain that their little rules are right even though they all believe in the bible and are supposed to be living by what it says not some weird interpretation that some guy saw some hundred years ago. Most American relgious people these days are huge hypocrites. They say they believe in one thing, yet they do another.

In general, it just seems that our world is so far gone that it doesn't matter what your religion is. Whatever we all come from is sick of us and Earth will explode either from the rath of a higher being or by our own human stupidity.

Anonymous said...

I think Earth is listed under "comedy central" is god's cable TV.....