Laura Bush Needs Loven

If Laura Bush's roast of the President at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner is any indication, the first lady needs someone to (in the words of Chef) make sweet love to her down by the fire:

"George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney.
He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day,
'George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to
stay up later.' I am married to the president of the United States, and here's
our typical evening: Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I'm
watching 'Desperate Housewives' -- with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife."

She went on to say:

One night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes
and I went to Chippendale's. I wouldn't even mention it except Ruth Ginsberg and
Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there. I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's
Secret Service codename is now "Dollar Bill."

First: If Lynn Cheny only got the name "Dollar Bill", she is one cheapskate. Her husband is the Vice President of the U.S.A. and a former CEO of Haliburton. Can't she afford to slip a five in there sometimes?

Second: The media of course thought it was all very funny. After all, who doesn't like seeing the president getting ripped on? Jay Leno practically built a career doing nothing but.

But I saw it for what it was. A desperate cry for help for all the woman of politicians that they are not getting the sexual satisfaction that they so justly deserve. We have a 2.3+ trillion dollar budget this year. Can't we afford to get each of these women a nice vibrator? Maybe a couple nipple rings? I mean, is that too much to ask? Hell, I'm sure the Secret Service would chip in just so they don't have to go back to another Chippendale's show.