How to break a condom

http://arstechnica.com/journals/science.ars/2008/05/21/robo-gigolo-discloses-the-nature-of-condom-failure

Durex scientists built a sex robot to try to figure out why condoms break. The article actually has a picture of it too!

Take note! This is the important part: Their conclusion was the only way to really break a condom is to use one without enough lube. Yet another great reason to use plenty of lube.

The weirdest thing about this article is that it mentioned that they figured out the issue based on condoms that people had returned. What sort of sick, sick person saves a used broken condom and then returns it to the manufacturer? Who the hell are these people?

Indiana Jones and the Sucky Movie

Paul, Sue, and I all went and say Indiana Jone and the Temple of the Crystal Skull last Friday. As you can guess from the title of this blog, our experience was less than stellar.

It sucked. It sucked for a whole host of reasons. More than I can even count.

1) Physics. Seriously. I don't ask much from my action movies. All I ask is that you be consistent. You know; if something is so magentic that when I throw it in the air it shoots across the room, it should be that way when it is in my pocket as well.

2) Monkeys: Yes, that's right. Monkeys attack Nazis, and only Nazis. Just saying that out loud should be enough to let you know something about this movie.

3) Guns vs. a Whip: How the fuck do a bunch of people with guns not kill a dude with a whip?

4) Generally bad script: Its not even that acting was that bad. The script was horrible. A barrage of one liners followed by huge elaborate scenes built around those one liners.

Up North Photos

FYI: I've uploaded all our pictures from the Up North trip last weekend to my myspace account.

Inspirational Posters For a Tuesday

Happy, happy, happy

Happy anniversary to us!!

Today we celebrate 7 years as man and wife. Go us!! I love you more and more everyday Eric!!!

Quote of the Day

Sue: "You're my sugar daddy!"

Me: "I'm not your sugar daddy. At best, I may be your Splenda daddy."

Summer Tan Lines

Just so everyone is prepared when they see me in shorts this summer:)

Mike's Birthday Photos

I uploaded all our photo's from Mike's birthday to my myspace account

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=44780954&albumId=1699899

Not the Bradys

This post requires one of those warning labels that Konard posted last month:

Not the Bradys XXX Trailer (NSFW)

What is really scary is that this is not just a funny trailer someone whipped up. Its a honest to God full length porn movie!

Wikipedia Editors Never Been Laid

I was looking at the Wikipedia article for foreplay yesterday because of this xkcd comic, and I laughed out loud when I read the following needed a citation.

Stimulation can be achieved by mouth, hands, sex toys like dildos or vibrators, or common household objects like feathers or ice cubes [citation needed]

I was sorely tempted to add "[5]: Any porn ever made" as the citation:)

Tournament of Hotties Winner

You may recall a post last month about a "Tournament of Hotties". Well, they have a winner:

Tournament of Hotties Champion - Hayden Panettiere

What? WHAT????

Don't get me wrong. I like a hot chick who wears a cheerleader outfit in a sci-fi show as much as the next geek. But COME ON!

I'm sorry, but if I had to choose between Hayden Panettiere and, say, Elisha Cutbert or Eva Longoria or even Adriana Lima, Hayden Panettiere would be given the highest number from my "take a number for sex" device (I'd still do her of course. I just wouldn't want to waste my best stuff on her).

Also, what the fuck is that picture of her licking the Stanley Cup? That's not hot (note: picture of her licking a woman's clothed boob near the bottom: HOT!)

The Kroger Variety Hour

I was shopping around Kroger today and I came across this sign.

Somehow I immediately imagined a TV show where pies perform various song, dance, and talent routines.

And then I thought, "that's the dumbest thing you have ever thought of".

And then I thought, "Is it? Or is it the most delicious thing you have ever thought of!"

BLOG, part 2

Another blog of our weekend adventures. Sunday night we went to see My Chemical Romance at The Fillmore (formerly The State Theater) in Detroit. It was freakin awesome! They put on a great show! They remind me of Smashing Pumpkins and that is why I love them!! Of course I think the lead singer Gerard Way is a cutie so I didn't mind staring at him all night. He is very animated when he performs too. We had main floor seats but we stood in the section that did not involve moshing. Why do people mosh? It looked very painful and idiotic. Anytime your junk and head are in immediate danger is not a good time!! But I digress...

It was a lot of fun and they played all of my favorite songs. Eric and I dressed in our favorite black clothes so we could blend in ;) And we were not the oldest people there. There were quite a few people are age that went to see the concert plus all of the parents that took there kids. Plus we got to drink too!

We also met one of the coolest and cutest 7 year olds ever! I hope my kids are like him. His mom took him to the concert because he loves MCR. He was dressed in all black with a white and black neck tie. His mom said he is very smart and very artistic and he just started listening to the band on his own. He started listening to the Ramones when he was 5 and he is an up and coming talented artist.

BLOG!!

I couldn't think of a title, sue me!

Eric and I have had an action packed weekend so I am writing 2 blogs to recap! Friday night we were bored and went to dinner and a movie. We saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" with Jason Segel, one of our favorite actors from one of the greatest shows ever, "How I Met Your Mother". It also has Mila Kunis from "That 70's Show"; we are glad she got another job. It also had many other funny actors and actresses in it.

This was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while. It was funnier than Super Bad and I would say a tad funnier than Knocked Up! Go see it! And watch How I Met Your Mother too! You will not be sad!

Fanboys

Is it wrong that I both want to see this movie and BE these peoples?



And why must Star Wars and Star Trek fans always fight? Shouldn't our nerdiness bring us together instead of break us apart?

Back home

Hello all,

Eric and I just got back from our friend Nicole's wedding in Houston, Texas. That is another state we have visited. The weather was beautiful. Most of the weekend it was sunny and 70's. Mmmm warmth... We had a lot of fun. Mike, Joyce, Kien and Courtney were able to go to the wedding too so that was even better.

Eric and I rented a car and got to drive a Pontiac G6 all weekend. I loved the car; it had a sun roof! Of course, Mike copied us and rented the same car ;) I guess it is popular for rentals.

Houston looked like Michigan. Trees everywhere. They had lots of Mexican restaurants though. They say that everything is bigger in Texas, except for their road signs!!! Argh. I also must say that they end parties too early. The wedding had to end at 10:00pm, what is that??? So of course we continued on at a local bar ;)

Here are our pics. Our camera died just before the reception so we are missing those and some of our pics are fuzzy so we need a new camera. Guess that will be our next purchase. Overall it was good food, lots of drinking, and good friends!!!

Clintion Shooting in Church

Does anyone else read the headline for the following article and think it wasn't written very well:

Clinton: 'Not relevant' last time I went to church, fired gun

It sounds like they are questioning her about the last time she performed a drive by at a church:)

(Note: I stole the idea for this blog from Sue. I'm sorry)

Daily Caffiene Protects the Brain

BBC News: Daily caffeine 'protects brain'

From the article:

Coffee may cut the risk of dementia by blocking the damage cholesterol can inflict on the body, research suggests. The drink has already been linked to a lower risk of Alzheimer's Disease, and a study by a US team for the Journal of Neuroinflammation may explain why.

Given how much caffiene I consume in a given day, it is possible that my brain will NEVER die. I imagine I'm going to end up like one of those talking heads in a jar from Futurama:)

Things OK as long as they are Addictive and Dangerous

NY Times: Bill to Regulate Tobacco Moves Forward

So I'm perusing this article just to see what sorts of regulations they are planning on when I hit this golden nugget of a quote from John Dingell, a representative from my state:

Representative John D. Dingell, a Michigan Democrat, acknowledged that the bill was not perfect. “In a perfect world, we’d ban all cigarettes,” he said. “But the hard fact of the matter is that there are a lot of jobs depending on this. And more importantly, there are a lot of people out there who are addicted to this and they've got to have their fix.”

Apparently this guy is a complete dipshit.

First, he basically said that he is OK with dangerous products being released to people if jobs are on the line (asbestos isn't so bad, right?). Secondly, isn't that second part just a good reason to make every drug legal? After all, there are plenty of people who "got to have their fix" of crack everyday. Why don't we apply the same logic to that?

Wisconsin People are Obsessed with the Packers

I'm in class today helping my employer's education services group demo some new stuff we are doing to process forms. As an example, they downloaded the Wisconsin Income Tax form (see here).

Look at this screenshot I took of the bottom of the first page and tell me that is not just a little crazy.