Ramblings of Eric: Part 5

So it's not late at night and I haven't had the nearly illegal amount of caffeine that usually precipitates one of these, but I'm still going to pour some ramblings out of my head.
If you are wondering why this is rambling 5 even though I have previously published a part 6 and 7 its because I started writing this last year but never got around to publishing it. Ah well. For the record, I have to call them all ramblings because I read a couple of really good writers on the web and I do not pretend to have their sort of talent, voice, or ability to string together coherent sentences.

So anyways, today I want to ramble about my love of "Angry White Music" (copyright © 1998, All rights reserved in Guam). Examples are things like Tool, NIN, A Perfect Circle, Crossfade, Our Lady Peace, Nirvana, Linkin Park, etc. I was thinking this over today and I came up with a few reasons why I like this sort of music.

On a primitive level, it speaks to that part of my base nature that wants to get out of my car when someone cuts me off and beat the living shit out of them, leave them as a bloody pulp on the side of the road while I drag his woman back to my cave car for a rough quickie. Watch High Fidelity sometime; the scene where Ian comes in to talk to Rob to convince him to stop stalking him is what I am talking about.

Or sometimes it is that feeling that creeps over me every time I’m in an airport like I am right now as I write this: no matter how many people you squeeze in next to me, I’m still very, very alone in this world (only when I am traveling without Sue of course). Or maybe just that depressing feeling that like almost everyone on the planet I have accomplished nothing in my life that anyone will want to record in a history book.

Then there’s the emotion. I know its cliché, but music is supposed to talk to you. You know: that gut feeling you get when you connect to the feelings of the writer. I like all sorts of music, but the stuff I can really get into is something that I can scream at the top of my lungs while telling the world to F%^K OFF!

There is a tiny part of the back of mind laughing as I write this. It’s telling me, “HA! Look at yourself Eric. You know ‘the man’ everyone is always talking about? Check yourself! You’re it” (My brain sometimes speaks in 90’s hip hop slang. Don’t ask me to explain why). And me is of course right. What reasons do I have for being angry at the world?

Not much I would say at first glance. Yea, I had shitty high school experience. Who didn’t? Mine was probably worse than almost any of the people who read this blog (think early in a Revenge of the Nerds movie). I dated an emotionally crippled insane loony in high school. I still dream about people I have not seen in 6-10 years more than anyone else; a clear sign I have issues. College was better, but I still hold a lot of anger toward my high school peers. Fucking dicks.

So yea, I’m angry inside. I’m angry at all the people would had it a lot easier than me. I’m angry at the society that makes people who are smart social outcasts. FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL! FUCK YOU IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEM! FUCK THE SYSTEM! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Ah, I feel better now.