FUCK Work Today!
I'm having one of those days where I want to take my monitors and chuck them out the front door of our office, then run them over repeatedly with my car. I keep having a day dream where I am in that scene in Office Space where they are beating the shit out of that fax machine, except in my daydream it is my computer. Woh to the first person who knocks on my door and asks me a stupid question.
While I am on the subject of stupid questions, I have to bitch about this. I know these only apply if you are a technical person. Sorry to all my liberal arts friends:
1) I don't know how many times I've had the following conversation at work:
I'm having one of those days where I want to take my monitors and chuck them out the front door of our office, then run them over repeatedly with my car. I keep having a day dream where I am in that scene in Office Space where they are beating the shit out of that fax machine, except in my daydream it is my computer. Woh to the first person who knocks on my door and asks me a stupid question.
While I am on the subject of stupid questions, I have to bitch about this. I know these only apply if you are a technical person. Sorry to all my liberal arts friends:
1) I don't know how many times I've had the following conversation at work:
Dumb Employee: I'm seeing an error when I do such and such.
Me: What does the error message say?
Dumber by the minute Employee: Um, I can't remember.
Me (in my head): Well, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!?!?
Rule 1: DON'T ASK ME TO HELP YOU WITH AN ERROR IF YOU CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCKING ERROR WAS!
2) Don't come ask me a question without having looked into it yourself first. Every time you come in my office to talk about something, you break my "coding zone" (R knows what I am talking about). This is the second most common problem I have:
Dumb Employee: I'm trying to do such and such in my code.
Me: OK, that sounds reasonable.
<Walk to their office and start looking at their code>
Me: What does this function do?
Dumb Employee: I don't know.
Me: Well, ok. What is stored in this variable?
Dumb Employee: I don't know, someone else wrote it (translation: I am not motivated to actually understand the code. I just churn it out by copying and pasting other code.).
Me (In my head): I'M TOO BUSY TO TEACH YOU HOW TO FUCKING CODE YOU USELESS MONKEY. IF YOUR TOO FUCKING LAZY TO LEARN HOW THE CODE WORKS, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU!
Ahhhhhh.... Now I feel a little better. Liberal use of the word FUCK in all caps always takes some of my edge off.
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1 comment:
I don't even mess with other people's code. If I'm tasked with taking legacy code and building on it, I'll tell my boss, "Ok, give me a few days to rewrite this garbage. And before you ask, I know it's garbage because I didn't write it."
Fortunately I don't supervise any noobs here at work so I'm rarely bothered when I'm in the zone. But I've had projects that make use of classes and structures within those classes and structures within those structures within those classes, and linked lists and double pointers and functions and methods scattered about twenty different source files and once I have all that shit in order in my head, it's like a fragile house of cards. Any asswipe can bust in my office and ruin my concentration. Then when they leave I look at the fallen pile of cards on my floor and say fuck it and go home.
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