News is officially crazy

WARNING: This post is rant. There is only one funny thing in it, and it is clearly shown below in block quotes so you can find it easily.

Does anyone but me think the 24 hour news channels have officially gone crazy? I mean, its seriously starting to make me think that there is some sort of conspiracy to deprive us of all of any resemblance of news.

First there is the whole Terri Schiavo thing. I never once during the whole thing actually heard someone come on any of the news programs and say anything about the legal decisions that the judges made. I heard people complain about the moral decisions. I heard people complain about the fact that a judge was deciding this woman's fate. I heard complaints that the judiciary in this country is out of control. But no one actually sitting and saying, "the law that applies to this case says such and such." Why can't we have THAT discussion on the news channels? Fuck, FOX had a "legal expert" on nearly every time I saw FOX News some where and they were always talking about everything BUT that. No all I heard was shrill cries of, "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER?!!?!?!" and equally shrill cries of, "WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING HER BY KEEPING HER ALIVE?!?!?!". As if they were in the third grade and volume was counted in the score of who won the debate.

Then there was the Pope. Despite the fact that I am not Catholic, I do understand that this is a big deal. I was even a little sad that he died. But for the love of God the news went F-ing nuts! You would think there were preparing people for the destruction of the entire world. And do I really need updates every 15 minutes on the Pope's urinary tract infection? NO! FOX news in its desire to be the most morbid of all the cable news actually declared that the Pope was dead 26 hours before it happened. Sigh... Hey here's a thought.... maybe we could CHECK our facts before we go on the air. Crazy I know... so crazy it just might work!

Did anyone else keep hearing that old guy from the Holy Grail as they watched the news coverage of the pope?

Media:
Here's one.

Pope:
I'm not dead!

Masses:
What?

News Media:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.

Pope:
I'm not dead!

Masses:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!

Media:
Yes, he is.

Pope:
I'm not!

Masses:
He isn't?

Media:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.

Pope:
I'm getting better!

Media:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

And don't get me started on the Michael Jackson thing. DAMN YOU OJ for teaching the media that people will actually listen to the day-to-day happenings of a celebrity's trial (I know, its debatable whether Michael Jackson even is a celebrity any more, but bear with me). Look, just tell me when it is over. I don't care if he shows up to court under an umbrella. I don't care if he shows up in court in pajamas. Hell, I don't care if he shows up in court on a unicycle with his head INSIDE a 5 year old's vagina. I don't care. I DON'T CARE!

Or how about the Sandy Burger story. For those who have not been paying really close attention, he was the Clinton advisor who stole and destroyed some documents from the national archives about terrorism during the 2000 New Years celebrations. I never ONCE heard anyone on the cable news mention that, "oh by the way: He only destroyed some COPIES of the documents. We still have the originals, so its not like he destroyed some vital government information." Nope, can't talk about that. No story there. We wouldn't have that conspiracy edge that we need to beat out the other channels for 0.1 Nielson ratings.