I'm bringing Ramblings back. YA!

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogsphere rejoice. Eric is back with another "ramblings of the head" (tm) post!

<waits for thunderous applause to die down>

All the standard disclaimer apply. This is my thoughts and opinions alone. No one's elses. Get your own opinions you sheep:) If you are looking for funny or amusing you're reading the wrong post.

Sue doesn't label them as such, but she has managed to write the last couple rambling posts on our blog. And I've been secretly (why does that word not look right no matter how I spell it?) jealous of all the comments and rage her posts manage to bring out.

My turn.

I know I've brought this up with a few people, so I'm sorry that you have to read it here again. Don't think I'm attacking or picking on you in any way.

A while ago I wrote a post about things I regret doing in my life. What I found most interesting about that post was the reaction I got. Several people reacted something like this:

"Eric, you shouldn't regret the things you done. Don't carry all that baggage around. You're a good person. We all love you."

Each one told me some version of this. Different people emphasized different parts of that statement, but more or less that was everyone's reaction. In every case, I had the same thought:

<angry buzzer sounds> Ohhhhh I'm sorry. That answer is incorrect.

The point of that post was not to ask for forgiveness. It wasn't about disliking myself. Or about me feeling like my life would be better if I didn't regret these actions. Or thinking that I'm not a good person because of all these things I've done.

Everyone one of those thoughts was missing the point. Are you ready for the point? Ok here it is: Those regrets offer a window into me. The inner me. The me that thinks about the things he has done, wishes he could do them differently, then shrugs his shoulders and thinks that at least this regret means I have a chance at doing a better job in future.

That's why I carry this regret around. Because if I didn't, every one of those actions would be just as likely today as they were when I choose them on the first go around. I'm wiser now then I was at 17, but that wisdom was earned with this regret. I carry them with me to remind me of what could be every time I make a decision like that without thinking.

I don't WANT to lose my regrets. In some very important ways, they are who I am. Or at least who I aspire to be.