Typical Day in My Inbox

Unlike most everyone on the planet, I have had the same email address for the last 9 years. In my more naive days, I used to post my email address with most of my posts to newsgroups, web logs, or whatever else I was accessing on the web. These two facts mean that any glance at my inbox is very disturbing. Its disturbing not just for the quantity of spam I receive in a given 8 hour period (164 today), but also for the contents on those emails. I thought a quick browse through just the subject lines might be enough to prove my point.

"Earn your degree online All degre (their spelling, not mine) levels, wide range of majors."

I get about 10 of these every 8 hours. I have a degree, but thanks. And if I didn't, I don't think my employer would be impressed with a university that consists of a computer and a laser printer. My office at home is a university if that is the only criteria.

"You can save up to 70% on <insert some drug that increases erections> !"

I get about 30 of these every 8 hours. Hmmmm... yes, buying prescription drugs that can increase my risk of a heart attack, stroke, and blindness from someone I will never see or have never met DOES sound like a good idea. Not to mention the chance of having an erection for 12 hours straight.

"SPERMAMAX does not increase Dihydrotestosterone or show any incident of gynomasticia."

Thank God you told me that in the subject line. Because next to Avian Flu and Bears, that was my number one concern in life right now...

"Indulge your wife all the year round with Generik Viagra."

See now, that just unprofessional. You send all this money to rent an illegal zombie bot network to send out millions of spam, and you can't take the time to spell check your offerings? Sorry, but that sort of spotty attention to detail just turns me right off to whatever you are offering.

"Very sad German statistics say in average"

Uh...ok...


The rest are really too graphic to even post here. Lets just say they nearly all match the following template:

<male fantasy girl> <verb that describes something perverse> <some thing to stuff into a person that may or may not be sanitary> <some place to stuff things in>

Trust me when I say you don't want to read them.