Holding Everyone's Hand

One thing I will NOT miss about my job is holding the slow peoples' hands during development. Today in a fit of complete stupidity, one our developers came and bothered me saying that the build was broken on his machine.

Fuck.

First off, there is the fact that every time this dude gets the source code from our server he has this issue. He's one of those people who responds to unexpected issues much like I imagine a cave man would: stares blankly, grunts, shakes monitor, scratches head, wonders aloud, "why no work?". You get the idea.

So he comes to my office to tell me that one of the projects (lets call it project B) in the code won't build (yet again). I ask him all the usual questions:

Me: You got all the code from the server right?

Him: <grunt>

Me: You did merge the changes into your code right?

Him: <grunt>

Me: OK, lets go have a look. <scroll through errors> Well lets see, project B is not compiling. mmmm...Well, it says here that project A that project B depends on did not compile.

Him: Yea, I noticed that but I didn't think it was an issue.

Me: <stare blankly at him wondering why he was allowed to reproduce, followed by a long sigh>...Lets see why it did not compile.

Him: <Stares blankly>

Me: <Picturing said developer as Daffy Duck being shot repeatedly during the "You keep out of this; He doesn't have to shot you now" bit> The error says you failed to link. You are probably defining a method but not implementing it anywhere (DUMBASS).

Him: But I did implement...er...hmmm...it no here...

Me: <Wander out without saying more. I don't want to have to write the method too.>

Days like this make me glad I will be working alone and from home soon.