The Heroin State

We all know New Jersey is the Garden State (thanks to the movie of the same name and the fact that the name is routinely mocked due to the fact that nothing will in fact grow in New Jersey). But did you know that New Jersey is also the place to go if you want to score that perfect heroin high? The AP reported today that:

"For the second straight year, DEA lab tests of samples bought on the street will show unprecedented levels of heroin purity. In 2002, New Jersey heroin was 71.4 percent pure, nearly twice the national average."

My favorite quote was from a DEA agent interviewed for the article:)

"You can't buy any better heroin in the world than you can buy in New Jersey," said Michael Pasterchick, special agent in charge of the Newark DEA office.

Of course, the article tries to make this out to be a public health issue. Something about addicts, overdoses, blah, blah, blah. I think they have the wrong take entirely. NJ should be living this sort of press up! All press is good press right? I mean, lets face it: NJ does not have a lot of other reasons to visit. They should create some sort of national advertising campaign based on this fact. I'm thinking a live, touring version of Pulp Fiction set in NJ :) With that sort of press, they could almost guarantee the hat trick. Once they have that, the endorsements will come rushing in. That's where the real money is in this scheme:)

Or create the first National Heroin Festival. Oh man that would be sweet! Think how jealous those bitches in Amsterdam would be if NJ were to win the "best heroin in the world" award THREE years in a row!

Quick Side Note: I'm really enjoying the fact that the word "blog" is not in the built in blogger spell checker, but "heroin" is.