Bachlor Party Recap - Post 2

Bloody, beaten, and smelling like industrial paint, our heroes (and they are heroes! Anyone who returns from war is a hero. No matter how many times he was shot or screamed like a little girl) move on to some more low key events.

2:00pm - Start drinking and playing cards. When Mike complains we are bringing him drinks too fast, I make statement that "if you don't throw up tonight, we haven't done our jobs".

3:00pm - We watch the first five minutes of the MSU/OSU game and immediately assume all is lost (turns out we were right).

3:05pm - Head to Mongolian Barbecue to cook some raw meat.

3:30pm - Mike is deputized as an official boob inspector. He retains the badge the rest of the night.

6:00pm - head to Canada. On the way our car learns the new insult "You know how I know you are gay?" thanks to (1) a discussion of our weight and (2) people who shall remain nameless stating that Journey was a good 80s band.

7:30pm - reach border. Guard asks us where we are going. Kien gives the now immortal answer of "The bachelor party". Not "A bachelor party". Oh no. This is THE bachelor party! Surprisingly, this answer does not get us strip searched. I think unless we actually used the words "bomb" "Canada" and "hockey" all in the same sentence, that guard was not going to stop us.

9:30pm - Check in, get everyone smelling sort of fresh (as fresh as people who have eaten at MBQ can), and head out to the strip club.

10:00pm - Arrive at Million Dollar Salon. Place is dead, prices are way too much for drinks, and worse they only have 6 girls on rotation at the moment. Boo! On the plus side, I will say they had some impressively flexible girls:)

10:15pm - Start survey of the table of what they like best about chicks: Tits, ass, or legs? In a shocking (at least to me) result, tits and ass are tied at 4 each and legs gets one vote.

10:30pm - We've seen the entire rotation, so we decide we need a new venue. Head out to Rush Bar to get drunk on cheap beer ($2 for a Molsen? Sign me up!)

11:00 - 1:30pm - Everyone gets good and drunk. Mike is a complete pimp. He single handily gets girls to talk to each of the single guys in our party and manages to get 5 girls to dance for him. Committed guys keep getting crappy test tube shots from this incredibly tall/hot waitress. So easy to get us to do stuff when you dress like that! The other waitress is even hotter (schoolgirl outfit and pigtails!) but I just cannot bring myself to buy her girlie drinks.

I only vaguely remember what went on here. I do remember alcohol causing me to have ADHD and wandering around all over the bar. Also, while I was not quite the pimp that Mike was, I certainly was feeling no fear of chicks by this point.

1:30pm - OK, time to get our boy some lap dances. We head to Cheetahs (now THAT is a strip club name!) and are immediately glad we did.

2:00pm - Mike's gotten two lap dances.

2:05pm - Mike is throwing up in the bathroom.

2:30pm - Jeff, Mike, Josh, and I head back to the hotel to crash. Mike is wiped from throwing up and I'm just flat out tired.

I know other things happened, but I was fast asleep in my room after this. Make them write a blog if you want to know.