Funny Balloon Hats For The Win!

So, this is a funny picture and a fun story (no surprise, but alcohol was involved)

Sue and I were bored last Saturday night (after seeing Wicked, the cool musical in NYC that afternoon), so we decided to go to our Gym's member appreciation party to sate our love of free food. The theme was Mardi Gras and it was supposed to be at the outdoor pool, but somehow it ended up being in their basketball court (way too prom-like depressing, if you ask me). We get there and are pleased to find open bar for beer and wine, but mostly depressing older people packed in to the space. The DJ is predictably lame, so we decide to slam one or two, get some dinner and get out of there. Semi-cool is the person on stilts with long pants who is making balloon hats and animals for the adults (no kids allowed at party). After her second glass of wine, Sue suggests we get some hats before leaving. I'm a bit buzzed too, so I agree and ask the balloon lady to make me "anything w/ horns, viking, devil, bull, I don't care." (wanted to say, "I'm horny tonight," but didn't want to make the hired entertainer uncomfortable). She gives me a contemptuous look, but goes ahead w/ her version of a viking hat (below). Sue asks for whatever she wants to make and gets a cool twisty snork (remember the snorks!?) thing.
We proceed to get many compliments from party goers on our hats, even though I keep hitting ppl cause my damn horns stick straight out to the side (Sidenote: 10 min later the DJ plays the lame electric slide, but the highlight was seeing the chick in stilts doing it too!)

We ditch the party and decide to go to blockbuster and have "Hot chicks kick ass movie night" renting Aeon Flux (a'ight) and Ultraviolet (bit lame), but wear the hats inside the store. Made the clerk laugh and that was worth it enough for me.

In life, you have to make your own fun (but not your own balloon hats)

ps - as an added bonus, feel free to make this a "caption this picture contest" =)

pps - note the chic plastic stars sue stuck on her temples she got from the party

More stupid spam

I received the following spam email today. It was amusing enough that I felt the need to share:

One of our agents has been trying to contact you regarding your home.We have some awesome news. Although it has taken some time, our agent havefound 0 companys that are able to r e f i n a n c e for you.

Well, that's sort of depressing. I was all excited and ready to refinance. No really! Its all I think about! And then you go out of your way to tell me that you found zero agents. That's just mean. How do you live with yourself? Couldn't you have just ignored me? Or just offered me some low cost drugs and girls getting raped by some sort of barnyard animal? You know, to sort of ease the blow? Now I will have to live vicariously through all my other friends refiancing while I just sit here and cry over this email:(

Screw you spam emails!

DRUNK POST! W00T!

Good lord I am drunk. I'm in bed at the hotel watching something on some channel that is really funny. I really wish I knew what channel I was watching and what time it is. The show is about the fact that chicks do not like being called a cunt. And in a way that is completely beyond me, they are making it really funny:)

I'M DRUNK!

They just said what channel I am on: HBO. And the show is Lucky Louie. Just so everyone knows, that show is hilarious!

Drinking with the boss is awesome. Gambling with the boss, not so much. I lost a bunch at some Indian casino here in Wausau.

I'm too drunk to write a good rambling blog.

JACK DANIELS! GOOD!

Fox news is depressing. Time to change the channel back to something fun.

Nothing on worth watching. I give up. Time to give up and go to sleep. Sorry for the lack of any point.

40% of you will never get this

Apparently my egotistical rantings about how you either are great at software programming or not was not just my ego talking. According to this PHD paper, a group of researchers have come up with pretty simple test that can weed out the (and I swear their PHD paper actually includes this line), "programming sheep from non-programming goats."

Basically, they decided that there are three models that people need to be able to conceptualize:

• assignment and sequence
• recursion / iteration
• concurrency

They claim that even good programmers have great difficultly getting a good model of concurrency (which I will attest is one of the most difficult concepts to wrap your head around in CS). But they also claim that simply testing students for a mental model of assignment and sequence before they ever see a single programming book is an excellent predictor of CS aptitude. For example, this is the very first question on their test:

Read the following statements and tick the box next to the correct answer.

int a = 10;
int b = 20;
a = b;

The new values of a and b are:

[ ] a = 20 b = 0
[ ] a = 20 b = 20
[ ] a = 0 b = 10
[ ] a = 10 b = 10
[ ] a = 30 b = 20
[ ] a = 30 b = 0
[ ] a = 10 b = 30
[ ] a = 0 b = 30
[ ] a = 10 b = 20
[ ] a = 20 b = 10

As someone who does this for a living, I have trouble believing anyone could get this wrong (the correct answer is (2) by the way). Yet when these UK researchers ran their students through a set of questions like this, fully 39% would fail the test. 39%! And weirdly the things you would expect to affect this, like overall intelligence, GPA, or access to computers has absolutely no effect on this number! Its almost like the good programmers are different not because we are smarter, but because we have a natural ability at creating consistent models of machine logic. Moreover, this number appeared to the researchers to be very difficult to move. Even after 3 weeks of tutoring, "there is very little movement from consistent to inconsistent". That is, either you have a consistent model of assignment, or it is very likely you will never have one!

Ok, all well and good so far. But it begs several questions

1. If this really is a great predictor, would it be ethical to require it from freshmen CS?
2. What if the school decided that this test would be their entrance criteria for beginning CS classes?
3. Would your answer change if I pointed out that the test was not 100% accurate (It's more like 80%)?
4. Given this information, is it fair that most engineering schools now require at least one programming class on all students? If we know that at least 30% of students are not wired to understand this stuff, is it fair to make Mechanical Engineers learn Java?

It Really Works!

Sue and I hate cleaning. We hate it with a passion. So anything that can help us reduce the number of times we have to clean anything in the house is just plain awesome in our book. Enter our newest bathroom contraption:

http://www.automaticshowercleaner.com/home.asp

I was wholly convinced this thing was going to be completely worthless, but Sue's intuition told us to give it a try (or it may have been the large amout of lime buildup in our shower that she had just cleaned). I figured if it meant we only had to clean the shower half as often, it would be worth it.

Well, it has been almost 3 weeks so far, and let me tell you that this thing is worth it! Since we started using it, I have not seen a single water mark or lime deposit anywhere in our shower. Ah sweet technology! How did we ever live without this?

Better Mac Ads

Mac Ad Spoofs

Safe for work as long as you have some headphone:)


I know that lately all my blog is good for is links to other people being funny. However, I am once again jet setting to some fabulous destination for work next week (Wisconsin!). So rest assured that I will make some sort of wildly personal, angry, and bitter post next week based on the Wheel of Rambling (tm) while in nothing but my boxers from a hotel room in the midwest at 3:00 in the morning (just like every other trip!).

Another Hilarious Link

The Microsoft Interview

Photoshop Fun

When nerds, photoshop, and movie posters come together:

Computers in Movies

First Party Pictures

Paul and Sue Pics!

Pictures from the party start at the seventh picture in the series.

Cell Phone prevents late-night "I never should have left you you stupid B$%$" drunken calls

ABC News: New Cell Can Tell If You're Drunk

I love this additional feature that the engineers thought to add:

The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity - and probably your dignity, as well.

Sadly, I have to say that I have never made a drunk call to an ex-girlfriend. But I have said some amazingly stupid things around people when I drunk. So I think what this phone needs is a way to prevent from talking to certain people AT ALL after a certain time and alcohol level.

I'm thinking something like a Tazer system! Something that could give me a large enough shock so that I am knocked unconsciouss (or at least left as a smoldering pile of club wear on the floor for a few minutes). And remember that it has to be able to cut through the fog of drunkenness: we are talking about a pretty good zap here if we are basing it on how invincible I usually feel when I am drunk. You would probably need something like those portable defibulators. Now I'm thinking! It could shock you unconscious, and then revive you when the person had left the immediate vicinity. It's the perfect plan with no side effects! Now all I need is investors and a way to work the words "Web 2.0" in somehow and I will have a gold mine!

House is Offically Warm

Our house warming party was a huge success if I do say so myself. Drinking, food, beer, shots, and more karaoke than you can shake a whole Japanese auto company at! Oh, and we also established beyond a reasonable doubt that I am the greatest Apples to Apples player alive. Pictures will be coming soon (just as soon as everyone sends them to me or ours are processed by snapfish.com; whichever comes first).

A few people missed our party for reasons as yet unknown. Know that you are on THE LIST now! And also know that THE LIST is not easily appeased.

I also received my official invite to my 10 year high school reunion today. Sue asked if I was sure I wanted to go. HELLZ YES I’m going. Time to get a new suit and get rid of some of these feelings of uncoolness I have been carrying around since the day I left high school. Well adjusted living, here I come!

6 days and counting

My excitement for this weekend's big house warming party is growing by the hour. Drinking, a bon-fire, high-school and college friends together as one, AND I don't have to drive anywhere afterwards? Fantastic!

Speaking of drinking, the Miss and I want some feedback on the sorts of drinks we should have. We already have a bunch of alchohol on hand: wine, rum, vodka, Irish Cream Liqueur, and Jack Daniels. I'm going to insist on some Red Bull and Jagermeister to round out the selecction of course, but other drinks do people like? Beer is the most glaring omission at the moment, but it goes bad so fast and I drink so little that we probably won't have much on hand. Besides, no two people on earth can agree on beer anyways (beer is like pizza toppings that way).

Post your favorite drinks in the comments and rest assured we will have the ability to make it:)

Employed again

Hello all, just wanted to let you all know that I have a job again! I took a job at the University of Michigan Medical Center in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit. I am very excited! The unit specializes in transplants and another procedure that not many hospitals do. I will be getting great training and will be learning a lot of new stuff! I start July 10 so I still have some time to chill and party a little. Unfortunately I have to work the night shift but I think that it won't be too bad just 3 nights a week. I plan on buying Michigan State University scrubs to wear at some point...

Ramblings of Eric: Part 5

So it's not late at night and I haven't had the nearly illegal amount of caffeine that usually precipitates one of these, but I'm still going to pour some ramblings out of my head.
If you are wondering why this is rambling 5 even though I have previously published a part 6 and 7 its because I started writing this last year but never got around to publishing it. Ah well. For the record, I have to call them all ramblings because I read a couple of really good writers on the web and I do not pretend to have their sort of talent, voice, or ability to string together coherent sentences.

So anyways, today I want to ramble about my love of "Angry White Music" (copyright © 1998, All rights reserved in Guam). Examples are things like Tool, NIN, A Perfect Circle, Crossfade, Our Lady Peace, Nirvana, Linkin Park, etc. I was thinking this over today and I came up with a few reasons why I like this sort of music.

On a primitive level, it speaks to that part of my base nature that wants to get out of my car when someone cuts me off and beat the living shit out of them, leave them as a bloody pulp on the side of the road while I drag his woman back to my cave car for a rough quickie. Watch High Fidelity sometime; the scene where Ian comes in to talk to Rob to convince him to stop stalking him is what I am talking about.

Or sometimes it is that feeling that creeps over me every time I’m in an airport like I am right now as I write this: no matter how many people you squeeze in next to me, I’m still very, very alone in this world (only when I am traveling without Sue of course). Or maybe just that depressing feeling that like almost everyone on the planet I have accomplished nothing in my life that anyone will want to record in a history book.

Then there’s the emotion. I know its cliché, but music is supposed to talk to you. You know: that gut feeling you get when you connect to the feelings of the writer. I like all sorts of music, but the stuff I can really get into is something that I can scream at the top of my lungs while telling the world to F%^K OFF!

There is a tiny part of the back of mind laughing as I write this. It’s telling me, “HA! Look at yourself Eric. You know ‘the man’ everyone is always talking about? Check yourself! You’re it” (My brain sometimes speaks in 90’s hip hop slang. Don’t ask me to explain why). And me is of course right. What reasons do I have for being angry at the world?

Not much I would say at first glance. Yea, I had shitty high school experience. Who didn’t? Mine was probably worse than almost any of the people who read this blog (think early in a Revenge of the Nerds movie). I dated an emotionally crippled insane loony in high school. I still dream about people I have not seen in 6-10 years more than anyone else; a clear sign I have issues. College was better, but I still hold a lot of anger toward my high school peers. Fucking dicks.

So yea, I’m angry inside. I’m angry at all the people would had it a lot easier than me. I’m angry at the society that makes people who are smart social outcasts. FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL! FUCK YOU IF YOU WERE ONE OF THEM! FUCK THE SYSTEM! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Ah, I feel better now.

Take my foreskin, please

CNN: Parents take circumcision fight to court

My god. There are so many things wrong with this story that I HAD to blog it.

* First off, this kid is eight now. It's a little late to be deciding this, isn't it?

* "The child's mother wants him circumcised to prevent recurring, painful inflammation she says he's experienced during the past year."

I had to hold my genitals in sympathy after reading that sentence. Sorry, but I have to go with the mother on this one: If there are ANY actions a person can take to prevent painful inflammation of any penises, by God we should be doing them!

* "David Llewellyn, an Atlanta attorney who specializes in circumcision cases,..."

Man, how would you like to go through life being known as the, "attorney who specializes in circumcision cases"? That's got to make the family proud...

* "Roger Saquet, director of the Non-Circumcision Information Center in Belmont..."

Speaking of weird jobs, how would you like to be the director of that center? Who the fuck would start a center like that in the first place? I would pay good money to get a hold of one of his business cards. I would frame it in my office and look at anytime I was thinking that I don't get enough respect for my job. One look at that card and I would feel so much better:)

IKEA, me likey...

So the big news in SE Michigan last week was the grand opening of the first IKEA store in Michigan. Eric and I wanted to go but waited until yesterday hoping that the traffic and crowds would be lighter since it is a 45 min drive to Canton. We were wrong. Their was a lot of people in that place and it is huge! There was a lot of imput and a lot to look at. I loved it! Our main goal was to find Eric a new desk and chair for work and we had great success. We also got a new comforter and several little home things we needed. I held back and could have spent a lot more money there. IKEA is my new favorite store. Move over Target, since the lamp I just bought from you was defective in the very last step I am very pissed that I have to take it back! That is my little rant... The only thing is that you have to assemble everything from IKEA but the directions are easy to follow and the parts are high quality. I was very pleased with my IKEA experience. You gotta love those swiss, they have a lot of great ideas.

MISSING: One Friend

Missing: one friend named Kelly U. We seem to have lost all contact information for this friend through a series of moves. If found, please call our cell phone and let us know how to get in contact with you.

Description:

• Female
• Tall
• Blond
• U of M graduate
• Can drink both of us under the table with one kidney tied behind her back.
• Answers to "five in a bed" on occasion.
• Answers all important questions with "maybe" ;)

The Internet is for (blank)...

Here is a link to a funny music video using World of Warcraft characters debating the *true* function of the Internet (NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

Njoy!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7997646050642417046&q=warcraft

Dave Matthews still rules!

Now that we have a cable modem again in our home we can blog and email more.

Eric and I went to see Dave Matthews Band Tuesday night at the DTE energy music theatre, formerly Pine Knob, and it rocked! They sound better than ever and they played a lot of older songs that I love! It ruled. We were front row, left side so I had a great view of Dave. He is so dreamy and I just love his voice!! Here is the set list from the show:

Satellite
JTR
Pig
Where Are You Going
Hunger For The Great Light
Everyday
Bartender
Grey Street
Grace Is Gone
Kill The King [Live Debut]
Raven
Tripping Billies
The Idea Of You [New Song]
Crash Louisiana Bayou

Encore: Sister (Dave solo song)
Dreaming Tree
Ants Marching

Grey street, and Raven are two of my all time faves as well as Ants Marching and Satellite of course! I am not the person to ask because I love all of the songs! It was also awesome that they played 2 brand new songs! Kick ass!

Won't SOMEONE think of the children

MSNBC: Bush urges federal marriage amendment

So good old George bush today urged the congress to pass an amendment to the constitution of the United States explicitly defining marriage as between a man and woman. Never mind that marriage has been and still remains an institution defined by the states. Never mind that the federal government has zero responsibility when it comes to defining marriage. Never mind that a federal court will never see a case asking it to define marriage. Never mind that Hell would have to freeze over and the entire eastern and western seaboards would have to float off into the ocean before there could even be hope that something like this could get 2/3rds of the Senate to vote for it. Never mind any of that. That's not my beef with this.

My beef is that the Republicans are too chicken shit to say why they really want to ban gay marriage. If they would come out and just say, "I don't want gay marriage to be approved because I believe it would validate the lifestyle choice they are making that I don't agree with", I could at least understand their position. I wouldn't agree with it, but at least I could understand their position.

But every time I hear one of them say it is to, "protect the institution of marriage" or that, "changing the definition of marriage would undermine the family structure", I throw up just a little bit in my mouth. Come on. Can someone explain to me how allowing gay people to get married is going to reduce or increase the divorce rate of hetrosexual couple in this country? How about children born out of wedlock? Infidelity? Anyone? You in the back; is your hand up? Oh, that's just a large hat:) Sorry about that.

Why does the fact that two people of the same sex want to bind their lives together in any way effect whether you, the straight couple, do the same? Or in a married persons case, continue to do the same? Am I just missing something there?