McCain + Wedding Crashers

Last weekend Sue and I were catching up on some Netflix movies when I had a truly horrible thought:

Is it possible that we as a nation could REALLY elect a guy who was, even for the briefest moment, in The Wedding Crashers?

Nuke the Fridge

Remember a few month ago when we were making fun of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Especially that scene with the A-bomb and the fridge?

Well, it turns out we weren't the only ones: Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary both have entries for the phrase "Nuking the Fridge", used to describe the movie equivalent of "Jumping the Shark" in TV.

I especially like the definition from Urban Dictionary:

A colloquialism used to delineate the precise moment at which a cinematic franchise has crossed over from remote plausibility to self parodying absurdity, usually indicating a low point in the series from which it is unlikely to recover. A reference to one of the opening scenes of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, in which the titular hero manages to avoid death by nuclear explosion by hiding inside a kitchen refrigerator. The film is widely recognised by fans as a major departure from the rest of the series both in terms of content and quality.

Batman was Awesome

The Dark Knight was awesome. Heath Ledger's Joker stole the show. Dark and evil and a perfect psychopath. Scary stuff all the way around.



SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the movie, you want to stop reading now!



Paul and I were discussing the scene where the two ships are rigged to explode based on what the other ship did. Call me cynical, but I have trouble believing that both would do nothing. I just can't imagine that among 400+ passengers not one would stand up and turn that key in order to protect their....whatever (spouse, children, etc.). If it was just me on the boat, I like to think I couldn't pull that trigger. But to protect Sue, you can bet that I would have turned that key...

But I wonder what everyone else thinks they would have done. Obviously its impossible to say for sure, but what is your gut reaction?

Get Smart

Sue and I saw Get Smart last night. Funny movie. Steve Carell is hilarious.

And when did Anne Hathaway become hot?! Lots of leg for the guys who like that, although when Steve Carrell kissed her it did feel a little weird (and not the good weird in my happy place).

Then there is this shot which is so quick you can't even really see it in the movie. But leave it to the internet to get a still shot of it up a day after the movie is out. Apparently the devil wears sexy underpants!

Abridged Indiana Jones 4

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script

Hilarious!

Sex! (and the City)

Sue and I went and saw Sex and the City this weekend. I really owed her for Indiana Jones, plus the 100 other action movies I have taken her too without any girly movies to offset.

First off, I was one of ten men in the whole packed theatre. Seriously. And as a man if you have never been in a room with 150 women vs. ten guys, let me just tell you it can be a little scary. I was worried I would be clawed to death if I laughed at the wrong moment.

All in all it was an enjoyable movie. Lots of girl power moments of course, but I laughed plenty and left thinking it was just like the TV show (which I liked), but an hour longer. Sadly, it did have one naked penis shot that I could have lived without. And what can only be described as the fakest tits I have ever seen ("um, aren't those supposed to, you know, move and stuff?").

Also: Sue thought my poll from this weekend was sexiest, so I've added one for the ladies as well.

Indiana Jones and the Sucky Movie

Paul, Sue, and I all went and say Indiana Jone and the Temple of the Crystal Skull last Friday. As you can guess from the title of this blog, our experience was less than stellar.

It sucked. It sucked for a whole host of reasons. More than I can even count.

1) Physics. Seriously. I don't ask much from my action movies. All I ask is that you be consistent. You know; if something is so magentic that when I throw it in the air it shoots across the room, it should be that way when it is in my pocket as well.

2) Monkeys: Yes, that's right. Monkeys attack Nazis, and only Nazis. Just saying that out loud should be enough to let you know something about this movie.

3) Guns vs. a Whip: How the fuck do a bunch of people with guns not kill a dude with a whip?

4) Generally bad script: Its not even that acting was that bad. The script was horrible. A barrage of one liners followed by huge elaborate scenes built around those one liners.

Not the Bradys

This post requires one of those warning labels that Konard posted last month:

Not the Bradys XXX Trailer (NSFW)

What is really scary is that this is not just a funny trailer someone whipped up. Its a honest to God full length porn movie!

BLOG!!

I couldn't think of a title, sue me!

Eric and I have had an action packed weekend so I am writing 2 blogs to recap! Friday night we were bored and went to dinner and a movie. We saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" with Jason Segel, one of our favorite actors from one of the greatest shows ever, "How I Met Your Mother". It also has Mila Kunis from "That 70's Show"; we are glad she got another job. It also had many other funny actors and actresses in it.

This was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while. It was funnier than Super Bad and I would say a tad funnier than Knocked Up! Go see it! And watch How I Met Your Mother too! You will not be sad!

Fanboys

Is it wrong that I both want to see this movie and BE these peoples?



And why must Star Wars and Star Trek fans always fight? Shouldn't our nerdiness bring us together instead of break us apart?

Ninja Cheerleaders

I can't believe this is a real movie coming out this summer: Ninja Cheerleaders

And yet, there it is on IMDB: IMDB: Ninja Cheerleaders

This is the synopsis from the web site:

April, Courtney and Monica are three beautiful, intelligent and tough college freshmen. They are finishing their first semester at Los Lomas Malas community college, the armpit of community college's. They must do well on finals to gain entrance to an Ivy League University, cheer at the big game and rescue their Sensei, who has been kidnapped by the mob, all by midnight so they can compete in the all-city strip off with the hopes of winning college money. All the while, dodging nosy cops, keeping their parents at bay, dealing with a perverted coach and smiling, talking or fighting their way through a slew of odd characters.

Seriously? That's the plot of the movie I would have written in sixth grade. Who the hell is green-lighting films in Hollywood these days?

Knocked Up

Sue and I saw Knocked Up on Saturday afternoon. I thought this was hands down THE funniest movie I have ever seen. I actually laughed so hard I cried at several points.

This is a witty dialog movie, which is my favorite type of humor. None of that adolescent poop jokes crap. Real, honest to god, funny dialogue.

Oh and it has the funniest "high on mushrooms" scene EVER.

And a racism joke about black midgets. I mean, how can you NOT like a movie with a racism joke about a black midget?

Go see it while it is still in the movie theatres. Seriously. We need to pump money into movies like this so that Hollywood will make more.

To the movie-mobile!

President's Dog Best Actor in White House

Your tax dollars hard at work: Barney's Holiday Extravaganza

You know what's really scary about this video? I'm not 100% sure that Bush knows that the dog he is talking to ISN'T GOING TO RESPOND.

The Daily Show's version is way better: Barney's Holiday Extravaganza - The Daily Show Version

Side note: Notice that they never say the cat's name? There is a good reason for this. The cat's name is "India", which caused quite the little party in India a few years ago. Apparently some folks there don't like the President naming something that poops in the box, spits up fur, and could easily be punted 50 yards after their country.

The Departed

Sue and I went and saw The Departed on Thursday. Fantastic movie. If you like dramas at all or if you have liked even one movie with Jack Nicholson, go see this movie. It's one of the best movies Sue and I have seen all year.

V for Vendetta

Last time, I mentioned that I would write my thoughts on V for Vendetta tomorrow. Well, I guess that whole wheel of time has turned and it is time to put up.

WARNING: There are some spoilers in here. Don't read if you care.

The basic plot of the movie is the idea that after a horrible biological terrorist attack in the UK and other terrorist actions around the world, the people of the UK vote in a completely xenophobic government that controls every aspect of their lives: They control the media, listen in on conversations at will, and generally trample all civil liberties in their ruthless pursuit of power and control. Homosexuals, immigrants, and Muslims were all rounded up by the government and sent to camps where they where either executed or "rehabilitated" (I'll leave it to your imagination to guess what that involved).

Its a interesting take on what people would willing give up for a feeling of safety. In a lot of ways the government they are describing is the Peoples Republic of China or the USSR before the fall of communism.

I'm still trying to decide if I think something like this could really happen in the US.

On the one hand, I doubt it. Just look around now: Despite 9/11, people (at least the majority of people) still stand up and say that the government should not have the right to listen in on conversations whenever they want. We have the most independent press on the earth that sees into every part of the government.

And yet... Its not as far fetched as it sounds. I bet if got people to answer honestly, you could get at least 10-20% of the population to agree to sending homosexuals and Muslims to a "rehabilitation" camp. The Bush administration has admitted that they have paid new's personalities to cover administration actions/plans in a favorable light. Conservatives are still making arguments like "if you are not for the government's every action, you are for the enemy". Listening in on overseas calls, reading email, gathering records about what I read at the library. All are steps down the path to the totalitarian state of this movie.

Recent Movies

Sue and I watched A History of Violence last weekend, and since I am stuck several hundred miles away from my Sue with a lot free time on my hands, I thought I would go to the theater here in Wisconsin and see a movie that Sue had no interest in seeing with me: V for Vendetta.

First off, I'll give you my reviews:

A History of Violence

B/B-/ A fascinating movie with some unbelievably great acting that is mared by the fact that in their effort to confront the violence of the character they use gore as the primary means to shock the audience. However, the direction is excellent with a laser-like focus and relentlessness that keeps you watching this house of cards fall apart in such a short period of time.

V for Vendetta

A-/B+. It had a few rough spots and few scenes that didn't seem to make sense from the audience's perspective. But the overall plot was quite good, the visuals were stunning, and as always Natalle Portman is fantastic. Plus, the subject matter of the movie itself was just plain fascinating. The idea that citizens really would willing trade civil liberties in exchange for protection is interesting to me at least.


WARNING!!! BIG SPOILERS AHEAD. If you are interested in seeing either movie without a lot of foreknowledge and my goofy thoughts in the way, don't read any farther.


A History of Violence -

The obvious message is that your past always catches up with you. We see this again and again as the people from the lead characters past return to his current life. They throw off the balance of everything he has worked so hard to build in his small town.

More subtle is the undertone that once you accept violence as a solution to a problem, it is difficult to switch to anything else. Like violence is a road down which each step make it harder and harder to turn around and go back to where you came from. Acceptance from his wife and children, friends, and coworkers becomes more and more difficult with each action he takes. And once the associates from his past force his old personality to the forefront, the main character seems to have difficultly returning to the simpler, humbler, and much less aggressive persona that he had built up.

There is also a little hinting at the idea that not all violence is bad. You know that saying that men sleep safely in their beds at night only because other men are willing to commit violence on their behalf? ( Mark Twain I believe) Well, this movie certainly continues to enforce my ideas about that.

I'm tired. V for Vendetta's review can wait until tomorrow.

Hilarious WoW movie

You have to have played World of Warcraft for this one to be funny:)

FROST SHOCK!

Best of 2005: Movies I Saw

According to me (Eric).

I have to go with Serenity, because Joss Whedon is my master now. Better than Star Wars I & II certainly. Probably the best original Sci-fi movie I have seen since The Matrix. Damn Fox! DAMN THEM FOR DENYING ME MORE FIREFLY!

But Mr. & Mrs. Smith was also great (Angilina Jolie is on my five celebs I get to bang list). So was Hitch, Kingdom of Heaven, Rent, Jarhead, and Assault on Precinct 13. Even Star Wars and Batman finally turned it around this year, which given their previous track record was about as likely as Ashlee Simpson creating a song that I actually wanted to listen to.