Customers don't like Reality

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers"

As an engineer, I should not be allowed to be unsupervised on the phone with customers. Engineers have no ability to sugar coat things for a customer. Take this wonderful conversation I had with about 8 people from our biggest customer.

Them: We have two PCs in the remote lab. On one of them, the application starts in 40 seconds. On the other, it starts in 90 seconds. Why do you think that is?

Me: <short pause> well, it could be a lot of reasons. Off the top of my head...

Them: I think its your application.

Me: Well, lets look at it rationally: What is different between the two PC? Are they running the same software? Are they using the same configuration?

Them: Yes

Me: Well, then I don't think its the application. Maybe its your network...

Them: No its your application.

Me: <speaking as if talking to a 3 year old>I don't know what to tell you. If the app is the same and the configuration is the same, it can't be the application. They are running the same stuff! The results should be the same.

<Long Pause...>

Them: Well, there is one difference. On the fast one we load the software from the hard drive. On the other, we load it across the network.

Me: (thinking to myself: are you people retarded? You don't think that MIGHT be the issue?) Well, I think that explains it. The long pause is the time it takes to load the software.

Them: It can't be. Our network is great.

....

It devolves from there into me repeating that whatever is different between the PCs is the problem and them repeating it must be something in the software. I'll spare you the details.

...

Me: look, we can't both be right. Either it really is running the same software and really is using the same config or sometime about your PC/network is the issue. You go and figure it out and let us know. (Thinking in my head: In the mean time, I'll be sitting in my office not worrying about this because I already know your network is to blame).