Bachlor Party Recap

Mike is officially ready for marriage now that we have had his bachelor party. Some of it is a bit hazy for me, but here is what I remember:

9:00am - Arrive for our manly event of the day: paintball!!!! Manly-ness some what reduced by all the whining about how fucking early it is.

9:30am - Finally have all the equipment and paint and all the rules explained to us. We all decide to not enforce their standard 20' rule (this will haunt us later). Time to go to war!!!! We divide up into teams as follows:

Team A (winners)
Konrad
Eric
Sergei
Sasha
Jeff

Team B (losers)
Mike
Kien
Josh
Chris
Frank

First event: Attack the house. One team defends a flag behind a small house. The other is trying to take the flag or kill all the defenders. The house is surrounded by trees and a lot of old cars. Team A defends first.

9:35am - Kien is the first guy hit. And boy is he HIT: 2 shots right to the top of the head. He looks like a candy raver for the rest of the morning :)

9:45am - Defenders manage to kill all the attackers just before time runs out (I'm the only defender left). Teams switch positions.

9:46am - three guys on my team are picked off in the first minute while running in the open. Defenders laugh and point at us.

9:55am - Once again, I'm the last one left alive, but this time it's 4 on 1. I'm starting to think the 20' rule might have been a good idea. The 4 have me pinned behind a car, and I can't see where anyone is.

10:01am - I call them pussies to try and get them out in the open.

10:02am - There haven't been many shots, so I start to stick my head up to see what is going on. Mike has snuck up to about 15' feet away and blasts me in the forehead. I scream "OOOOWWWWWW!!!THAT HURT!!!!" Leave pride on the field and continue to next field.

10:30am - Next field is the "pipe field". Shorter field with lots of PVC pipes set up mostly at random to act as barriers. Team A consistently dominates this field. Some of it is lucky shots and some is better strategy.

11:30am - Next field is the "Lego" field. Lots of large plastic boxes strewn around the field, with a set of PVC pipes running along each side of the field. Once again, team A dominates (with one exception). We consistently take control of one side or another of the field, then proceed to roll up the rest of field killing everyone.

noon - Ref suggests we try one final game for the bachelor called "zombie". Mike and Konrad defend a castle (with all the expected ramparts and higher levels). Everyone else starts at middle of the field and attacks the defenders. Attackers only die from head shots, and they only have to run back to the middle of the field before attacking again. Go until the defenders cry uncle.

All I will say is that it was ugly. We clocked in a twisted ankle, several shots to the hands, head, and masks, and a painful shot to the groom's neck that finally ended the game.

12:30pm - Last event. Last man standing tournament. Mike was way ahead in kills, but in the end Josh got in a lucky shot from across the field to finish the winner.

1:00pm - Tired, sore, sporting welts that look like cigar burns, and all thanking our lucky stars we never took a shot in the goodies, we head to Mike's uncle's house for a little R&R.

Tomorrow: Second half of our night.