Prayer Not So Useful

From MSNBC: Power of prayer flunks an unusual test.

Apparently, not only does prayer not help reduce problems after heart surgery, God actually smites people who know others are praying for them slightly more often:)

From the article:

"The study looked for any complications within 30 days of the surgery. Results showed no effect of prayer on complication-free recovery. But 59 percent of the patients who knew they were being prayed for developed a complication, versus 52 percent of those who were told it was just a possibility."

I'm not entirely sure why God would punish those who actually knew that others were praying for them. Perhaps because he wants them to pray on their own and not outsource it to others. Perhaps he just likes the bitter irony. I know I do:)

What I do know is that we have a definite decision in round 489,954,543,543 of the Science v. God fight. Hands down this round goes to Science.

Agent Orange != Tang

Agent Orange victims gather to seek justice

I think I have mentioned this one before, but I'm just baffled at the stupidity of the government sometimes. Agent Orange was defoliant used mostly in the Vietnam war to clear jungle. We dumped about 20 million gallons of this shit over the country. And, surprise surprise, dumping that much of a chemical that more or less instantly kills plants isn't so good for us humans either. Wow. I'm shocked I tell you. SHOCKED!

Its the same for DDT back in the 50s and 60s. People actually used to let their kids run around outside when it was being sprayed because the government told them it was ok. I'm guessing that would be about as healthy as taking a good lick from the inside of an ant trap, but sure! Why not?

I can just imagine that friendly neighborhood government official in charge of spraying assuring everyone it was ok:

"DDT is perfectly safe. Just because it is a poison that kills insects is no reason not to stand outside and let it rain down on you like mana from heaven. Pay no attention to all those dead bald eagles in the corner. One has nothing to do with the other."

V for Vendetta

Last time, I mentioned that I would write my thoughts on V for Vendetta tomorrow. Well, I guess that whole wheel of time has turned and it is time to put up.

WARNING: There are some spoilers in here. Don't read if you care.

The basic plot of the movie is the idea that after a horrible biological terrorist attack in the UK and other terrorist actions around the world, the people of the UK vote in a completely xenophobic government that controls every aspect of their lives: They control the media, listen in on conversations at will, and generally trample all civil liberties in their ruthless pursuit of power and control. Homosexuals, immigrants, and Muslims were all rounded up by the government and sent to camps where they where either executed or "rehabilitated" (I'll leave it to your imagination to guess what that involved).

Its a interesting take on what people would willing give up for a feeling of safety. In a lot of ways the government they are describing is the Peoples Republic of China or the USSR before the fall of communism.

I'm still trying to decide if I think something like this could really happen in the US.

On the one hand, I doubt it. Just look around now: Despite 9/11, people (at least the majority of people) still stand up and say that the government should not have the right to listen in on conversations whenever they want. We have the most independent press on the earth that sees into every part of the government.

And yet... Its not as far fetched as it sounds. I bet if got people to answer honestly, you could get at least 10-20% of the population to agree to sending homosexuals and Muslims to a "rehabilitation" camp. The Bush administration has admitted that they have paid new's personalities to cover administration actions/plans in a favorable light. Conservatives are still making arguments like "if you are not for the government's every action, you are for the enemy". Listening in on overseas calls, reading email, gathering records about what I read at the library. All are steps down the path to the totalitarian state of this movie.

Recent Movies

Sue and I watched A History of Violence last weekend, and since I am stuck several hundred miles away from my Sue with a lot free time on my hands, I thought I would go to the theater here in Wisconsin and see a movie that Sue had no interest in seeing with me: V for Vendetta.

First off, I'll give you my reviews:

A History of Violence

B/B-/ A fascinating movie with some unbelievably great acting that is mared by the fact that in their effort to confront the violence of the character they use gore as the primary means to shock the audience. However, the direction is excellent with a laser-like focus and relentlessness that keeps you watching this house of cards fall apart in such a short period of time.

V for Vendetta

A-/B+. It had a few rough spots and few scenes that didn't seem to make sense from the audience's perspective. But the overall plot was quite good, the visuals were stunning, and as always Natalle Portman is fantastic. Plus, the subject matter of the movie itself was just plain fascinating. The idea that citizens really would willing trade civil liberties in exchange for protection is interesting to me at least.


WARNING!!! BIG SPOILERS AHEAD. If you are interested in seeing either movie without a lot of foreknowledge and my goofy thoughts in the way, don't read any farther.


A History of Violence -

The obvious message is that your past always catches up with you. We see this again and again as the people from the lead characters past return to his current life. They throw off the balance of everything he has worked so hard to build in his small town.

More subtle is the undertone that once you accept violence as a solution to a problem, it is difficult to switch to anything else. Like violence is a road down which each step make it harder and harder to turn around and go back to where you came from. Acceptance from his wife and children, friends, and coworkers becomes more and more difficult with each action he takes. And once the associates from his past force his old personality to the forefront, the main character seems to have difficultly returning to the simpler, humbler, and much less aggressive persona that he had built up.

There is also a little hinting at the idea that not all violence is bad. You know that saying that men sleep safely in their beds at night only because other men are willing to commit violence on their behalf? ( Mark Twain I believe) Well, this movie certainly continues to enforce my ideas about that.

I'm tired. V for Vendetta's review can wait until tomorrow.

Wisconsin, Here I Am

I'm in Wisconson this week for HR paperwork, training, and meet and greets with my new company. So far everyone seems nice enough, but I've met what seems like a 100 people so they are all starting to blur together. I remember a Marcia, a Patrick, someone named Dan, and Matt. However, not one last name has stayed with me. I hope there aren't too many people with the same first name in this group:)

Wausau is a nice enough place to visit. Everyone speaks quickly again (thank god!), and they certainly have that Midwest friendlyness going on in full force. Actually, in the morning it is a little off putting. For the love of God leave me along and let me code and sip my pop in peace! Stop being so damn personable!

Hunting Quail like a VP

Good for 5 minutes of entertainment or so:

http://www.quailhuntingschool.com/flash.php

OMG that is awesome!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/8122/?cpg=wnrss

HOLES!

I cut a hole in our living room drywall yesterday. And not a little, spider could crawl through it hole either. I'm talking a hole big enough that we could have shoved Bob through it if need be. Our roof leaked when we first bought the house and I am sure that most of you are aware that water and drywall/latex paint don't exactly get along:) In actual fact, water and drywall are like mortal enemies! Like Pat Roberson and any sane American.

Anyways, on to the point of this blog: I was standing there with a big knife in my hand looking at the wall and thinking, "I can't do this....I can't do this..." when Sue looked up and said something to the effect of, "Do you know the procedure? Well then, I trust you can do it".

1/2 hour later I had the new piece of drywall in. I love that girl:)

Hard to Motivate

Sweet Jesus it is getting hard to stay motivated to do any good work here. Since I know I am quiting in 2 weeks, my urge to try to be the best and get the fantastic pay raises I have come to expect here is no longer holding my urge for sloth at bay. It is a effort of will just to stay here for the required eight hours a day!

On an unrelated note, I started a new blog yesterday (Coding From The Midwest) that will contain my more software engineer specific rants, data, examples, etc. Most of our readers will find this mind-numbingly boring or useful when you just cannot fall asleep at night, but if you make your living ordering around the gnomes that power every digital circut, you might find some useful stuff.

Top Ten Things We Will Miss/Look forward to

Thinking about our upcoming move, Sue and I are thinking about all the things we miss from Michigan and all the things we are leaving behind. Here is our list so far:

Things We Will Miss From Alabama

• D, Uncle R and all of the rest of the HPP. Also all of the Tybrin folks that really made us a part of their families :)
• Guthrie's Chicken - A store that only makes fried chicken and it comes in a box meal form, very delicious.
• Almost nonexistant property tax - 0.5 mils is insane.
• Dirt cheap land - My house and yard are going to cost about 1.5 to 2 times what they cost here.
• Dirt cheap housing - see 7.
• Living in an area with more PhDs than McDonalds per square mile. There is something to be said for a town with so many REALLY smart people around. Just don't leave the county and everything is fine.
• Being 4 hours from Atlanta. I really dig Peachtree street (but I cannot say which one). 1150 is a awesome club. But our Paul Van Dyke curse started there, so I have mixed feelings.
• Hard-core, balls to wall arguments with right-wing nut jobs. You just can't find right wing nut jobs like this in Michgan. Ok, you can, but they tend to live in Dexter and still light crosses on fire on peoples' lawns. Best to avoid thoe folks when possible.
• More GREAT mexican resturants than you can shake a stick at. I don't even like mexican food that much, but DAMN.
• Alabama Fall and Spring. Although I'll be the first to admit that its hard to tell when one ends and the other begins. BTW: There is no winter here. Period. End of discussion.

Things We Miss From Michigan and look forward to again

• The MSU and U of M party possee' s and all of the other friends in MI. Both of our families.
• Slurpees! By corelation: 7-11.
• Not having to drive 4 hours to visit a major city. I'm getting older, fatter, and lazier and driving four hours for fun is getting to be more than I care to invest.
• No nipple tape. I admit its been a while since we have seen a stripper, but if the mood strikes me I like to know that I can see a nipple in all its glory any time I want.
• CANADA! Left leaning, European ideals about sex, fun, and drinking. Young 19 year olds drunk and dancing in the club. People who actually appreciate Trance music.
• Gambling - Poker, slots, more casinos run by indians than you can possibly imagine, instant scrach off tickets, and a state wide lottery to punish people with false hope and no math skills.
• Proffesional Sport Teams: GO WINGS! And the Pistons. And uh... yea... we have the Lions. And the Tigers...uh...hmm...yea...uh...GO WINGS! I can finally make that Simpson's joke about, "How about those local sports teams?" without sounding like an idiot.
• MSU - Ah, sweet Alma Mater. I don't care what my friends say. MSU is just as good a school as UofM. Stuff it Kelly, Chris, and Shelle! MSU HOckey RULES!
• Snow - I know it is nostalgiac to think this way, but I miss snow. Ice skating, snowmen, and skiing!
• Paczkis - Sweet, delicous, Polish doughnuts. Michigan has a huge polish population and they make thousands each year. I love them so much that Sue's Mother has shipped us a dozen every year we have been here just so we would not miss out.
• All of the culture that Detroit, Toronto and Chicago have to offer. All of the great museums and musical shows/concerts that come each year. Ecspecially the car show and the Electronic music festival (Detroit is the birthplace of electronic music!). I can't wait to go the Detroit zoo and see Dave Matthews in Comerica park.
• Being in a state the appreciates the american car and will buy American cars. Not having to live in a state where everyone one has a Toyota with an American pride bumper sticker on it.
• Meijer's! I miss Meijer's. I love it's 24 hour greatness. They started the buy everything in one location thing when it began in 1962. Fucking Wal-mart stole the idea in 1988. Fuck Wal-mart and fuck Sam Walton. Hendrick Meijer rules. I refuse to shop in Wal-mart ever again.
• The Mackinaw Bridge and Mackinaw fudge. Mmm...fudge. If you have never been to Mackinaw then you have not had real fudge. By relation Moose tracks ice cream.
• REAL LAKES!! Only Michigan has real lakes.
• Pokey sticks! If you went to MSU, then you understand.
• Four distinct seasons. If I wanted to sweat to death then I would go to a sauna. Not natural.
• Being in a blue state again and not living in the Bible belt.
• Not having any dry counties. WTF is a dry county??? Plus being able to buy liquor and milk and eggs in the same location.
• The Hash bash in Ann Arbor. A place where fans of marijuana can come together and be merry.

Holding Everyone's Hand

One thing I will NOT miss about my job is holding the slow peoples' hands during development. Today in a fit of complete stupidity, one our developers came and bothered me saying that the build was broken on his machine.

Fuck.

First off, there is the fact that every time this dude gets the source code from our server he has this issue. He's one of those people who responds to unexpected issues much like I imagine a cave man would: stares blankly, grunts, shakes monitor, scratches head, wonders aloud, "why no work?". You get the idea.

So he comes to my office to tell me that one of the projects (lets call it project B) in the code won't build (yet again). I ask him all the usual questions:

Me: You got all the code from the server right?

Him: <grunt>

Me: You did merge the changes into your code right?

Him: <grunt>

Me: OK, lets go have a look. <scroll through errors> Well lets see, project B is not compiling. mmmm...Well, it says here that project A that project B depends on did not compile.

Him: Yea, I noticed that but I didn't think it was an issue.

Me: <stare blankly at him wondering why he was allowed to reproduce, followed by a long sigh>...Lets see why it did not compile.

Him: <Stares blankly>

Me: <Picturing said developer as Daffy Duck being shot repeatedly during the "You keep out of this; He doesn't have to shot you now" bit> The error says you failed to link. You are probably defining a method but not implementing it anywhere (DUMBASS).

Him: But I did implement...er...hmmm...it no here...

Me: <Wander out without saying more. I don't want to have to write the method too.>

Days like this make me glad I will be working alone and from home soon.

Typical Day in My Inbox

Unlike most everyone on the planet, I have had the same email address for the last 9 years. In my more naive days, I used to post my email address with most of my posts to newsgroups, web logs, or whatever else I was accessing on the web. These two facts mean that any glance at my inbox is very disturbing. Its disturbing not just for the quantity of spam I receive in a given 8 hour period (164 today), but also for the contents on those emails. I thought a quick browse through just the subject lines might be enough to prove my point.

"Earn your degree online All degre (their spelling, not mine) levels, wide range of majors."

I get about 10 of these every 8 hours. I have a degree, but thanks. And if I didn't, I don't think my employer would be impressed with a university that consists of a computer and a laser printer. My office at home is a university if that is the only criteria.

"You can save up to 70% on <insert some drug that increases erections> !"

I get about 30 of these every 8 hours. Hmmmm... yes, buying prescription drugs that can increase my risk of a heart attack, stroke, and blindness from someone I will never see or have never met DOES sound like a good idea. Not to mention the chance of having an erection for 12 hours straight.

"SPERMAMAX does not increase Dihydrotestosterone or show any incident of gynomasticia."

Thank God you told me that in the subject line. Because next to Avian Flu and Bears, that was my number one concern in life right now...

"Indulge your wife all the year round with Generik Viagra."

See now, that just unprofessional. You send all this money to rent an illegal zombie bot network to send out millions of spam, and you can't take the time to spell check your offerings? Sorry, but that sort of spotty attention to detail just turns me right off to whatever you are offering.

"Very sad German statistics say in average"

Uh...ok...


The rest are really too graphic to even post here. Lets just say they nearly all match the following template:

<male fantasy girl> <verb that describes something perverse> <some thing to stuff into a person that may or may not be sanitary> <some place to stuff things in>

Trust me when I say you don't want to read them.

Moving on Up (in this case, North)

I've gotten a new software engineering job with a company in Michigan and I have agreed to take it. An old buddy of mine from my last job recommended me and we just could not turn down their offer.

I've lived in Alabama 4 years almost to the day now. Most of it has actually been really great (despite what the name of my blog domain might otherwise imply). Lots of new friends, great job, great coworkers, and new career for my wife. It feels odd to say that I may even miss it a bit.

My start date is March 20, and I have 6 months or so to make the move. So we will be here a bit longer until we can manage to sell my house. In the mean time, its time to drink, celebrate, and revel in our return to four distinct seasons.

Nod if you agree

I'm having one of those days where all the other developers around me actually look like they moving in slow motion because of how much work I can accomplish in a single hour. I love days like this:) This site sums it up.

http://smartest.ytmnd.com/

I Heart Sue Wilson

F-ing Work

Good god it has been a while between posts.

We are getting down to the wire here on my current project. I HATE this part of my job. All the stress of delivering a high quality product on time really makes me an unpleasent person to be around.

For one thing, there is the whole issue of telling people to get the fuck out of my office. Most days, I just go with it. People need to relieve stress or point out funny things on the web or whatever. But when I under the gun for a delivery, every second of the day seems precious (In case you are wondering, I'm writing this while compiling my executable, not just wasting time). I've come up with the following system to get people out during those times:

Stage 1) Wear large headphones. You don't have to listen to anything on them. Just wear them. With headphones, you can always pretend you aren't listening when they yell for you to come see something. Stage one will only deter the most worthless of conversations and then only with the people too lazy to even get up and come to your office. If someone overcomes this first hurdle, it's time for Stage 2:

Stage 2) Step 2 is all about minimizing the ability of the conversation to continue.

* Continue to do exactly what you were doing when the person comes into your office: typing, filing, eating, rubbing your head while you pat your stomach, whatever. The point is, what you are doing is very important and you can't be bothered with their stupid conversation enough to actually devote more than your brain stem to it

* Answer in the shortest number of syllabes possible. Try some of the following: "Yes", "No", "Cool", "Neat", "Thanks", "Penguin", "doh", "hm...", and "That sucks", (or just "Sucks" if you are really into it). You get the idea.

If those don't work, you have to move on to Stage 3.

Stage 3:

* Stop making any eye contact at all. Go back to working on whatever you were working on before they came in. Typing is very effective here. That clicking noise acts as a constant reminder that you don't care about whatever the person is talking about. No really. I don't care. Seriously. Can't you literally hear me not caring? What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!?!

So that's my system. Anyone have any other ideas?

Lets see...What's in the news today?

Six dead after Calif. postal center shooting spree

What is it about sorting small envelopes for eight hours a day that makes people want to go on a rampage and kill all their co-workers? Seriously? Is it the federal holidays? Why the fuck DO I get Columbus day off anyways?

I think it must be the stamps. That weird saliva activated paste they use must cause you go completely ape shit if you sniff too much. Or perhaps it is just the shame of being fired from the USPS. I mean lets be serious for a moment: In order to be fired from this sort of job, you would have do something like shove a live badger into the sorting machine...in front of the boss...while making ethnic slurs...then rape the sadly mutilated, dead badger....everyday...for at least a year...probably two because you get the union to defend you for the first year.

Bush to Say 'America Is Addicted to Oil' in Talk

Thank you Captain Obvious! Why is this even news? I'm expecting the next headline on CNN to be "Bush to say 'Americans like candy' in Talk"

Hilton profit up 62 percent on room rate hikes

I'll let you insert your own joke here. Think of something clever, then show off by putting it in the comments. If it can somehow involve her little rat/dog, 50 bonus points!

Funny

Funny WoW Comic.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=134

Actually, I just discovered this gamers comic today. It is GREAT!

3AM Ramblings

Warning: I read this all after I was finished and I cannot believe how much just flowed out of my fingers at 3:30. I had written the first paragraph below and I was wondering what I was going to type when it just started pouring out. And once it started, it could not be stopped. Sorry it jumps around a lot and is a bit heavy. If you want coherent and light, you should read something else:)

I'm in Iowa again this week validating some software we are writing. Because we are working second shift, my schedule has been completely f-ed up this entire week. I feel like I've been living like a vampire or something.

Like I said, it is about 3 in the morning here, so naturally rather than go to sleep like a rational person would, I feel the need to decompress by taking another deep look into my mind and the way that my brain works again.

<annoying game show announcer voice>Thaaaaaat's right folks. Its time to play.... WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? /clap Today's topic: regrets.
</annoying game show announcer voice>

Despite what I like to consider my very care-free outward appearance, I have a deep running hidden streak of regret of all sorts of previous actions in my life. Without revealing specifics:

1) Stupid/Mean things I have said to friends.
2) Stupid/mean things I have said to friends while drunk
3) Cheating on a girlfriend
4) Telling someone I loved them just to get a kiss
5) Kissing and telling
6) Fucking and telling
7) Putting friends into uncomfortable situations because of my actions
8) Using and discarding a very nice younger girl to go back to a girl who was completely wrong.
8) Leading on girls for attention
10) Being mean to someone just to get attention
11) Didn't believe someone who told me about a forced sexual experience.

And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head.

The worst thing about it is that most of the time I'm talking about things that happened 10 years ago. Why the fuck do I keep this guilt around for so long? When I finally do apologize for some of these things, the answer is usually, "Oh yeah, I had completely forgotten about that." So I'm carrying around this guilt and regret for nothing?! THANKS ASS!

But of course, for every rule like the above you need an exception. Mine is #8 & #11. I may never forgive myself for either one of those. sigh... I chatted with #8 semi-recently, and at least in her case I can positively say that my guilt is 100% deserved. I would say I am sorry again, but what's the use? It doesn't change that fact that I almost single-handily destroyed a young woman's trust of men. As for #11, she mentioned recently that I was the only person she ever confided that secret in before that moment. I'm sure that my reaction directly contributed to many of her later issues with trust, betrayal, and commitment.

You know that whole thing about love making you blind? Well, I can tell you that it always does for me. That's what lead to #8 in the first place. Sue may be angry at me for saying this, but I have been in love with at least 3 different women in my life so far. Real, blinding, I cannot explain the way I feel, I would step in front a bus for them, Princess Bride "wuv, truuu wuv" sort of love. The sort where I was planning a life together. Looking back on the first two, I can say with 100% confidence that it could never work (duh moron: The fact you are not with them pretty much means it did not work). Both were 100% the opposite of what I really want my partner in life to be. But at the time, no argument could change my outlook, no amount of motherly nagging could make me see the truth, and the fact that some truly wonderful women were right in front of my face made no difference what so ever.

Is it a rule that everyone has to date one person in high school who will do significant damage to their ability to commit to someone later in life ? Is that like something that the school counselors set up? I swear that everyone I know had this experience. Hell, I'm disturbed by the number of women I personally know who had a really bad sexual-related experience growing up (its easily north of 50%). What the FUCK is wrong with so many people?????

Great bumper stickers for the New Year!

You can buy these and other great stickers at http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/stickers.html

They have some great stickers and other fun things. This site makes me happy... I need the Flying Spaghetti Moster one.