Picture Worth a Thousand Words

I scanned this off the front page of the Huntsville Times from Thursday. Does anyone but me think there must be a very amused editor somewhere? Ok gang, time to add your favorite captions for this image. I came up with: Who doesn't? With a mouth that can open that wide, I should think so. Add another "o" to that shirt and we can talk. (Trust me that it says "Bob")

Mornings are odd

I had one of those rare mornings today where I'm driving to work, but my brain is not really turned on yet. I blame this on the switch from my usual Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs cereal to a wholesome English muffin, but that is not the point of this blog.

Its a rather weird feeling in general when my brain is not fully keeping up with the world around me, but this morning it was particularly noticeable for some reason. I had the peculiar (at least to me) feeling that I was seeing the world outside my head a bit different this morning. Its hard to explain. You know that scene at the very end of the first Matrix movie where Reves is fighting Agent Smith in the hallway and everything seems slower to him? It was sort of like that.

I had at least two moments where I realized that I just turned into a lane where traffic might be coming from without actually looking to see if anyone was coming (or at the very least not remembering whether I looked or not). What was odd was I had a sort of disconnected thought of, "wow, I could be dead now if anyone was coming", but without the usual rush of flight or fight hormones that come along with such near misses when driving. And once I realized that I was not getting scared, it dawned on me that perhaps something was not quite right with my world view this morning. Its like I was calm and collected in a way that I am rarely in everyday life. Very weird. I might need to start sleep depriving myself on purpose to see if it can make a big difference to my outlook. Although like nearly every college student I know, I spent most of my time in college as a insomniac and I do not remember it being all that enjoyable. I certainly don't remember being all that calm (competitive N64 Golden Eye play will make you a very angry, bloodthirsty person if you let it).

Reviews

I thought I would review a few things Eric and I have purchased or seen lately.

First of all, we just got an iPod Shuffle as a belated Valentine's gift. It is a smaller version of the iPod for only $99.00! It holds 512 MB of songs. I love it since it is so small and you don't have to worry about a cd skipping if you want to go out walking with it.

Secondly, we saw the movie Constantine. It sucked. We saw all of the previews and thought that it might be good. The idea for the plot was a good idea, they just made it into a bad movie. It was boring and lame. I was glad to see Gavin Rossdale (Bush lead singer) in a movie! What a sexy rocker! Keanu Reeves just was not cool enough to make this movie good.

Chris Rock is my New Hero

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/22/oscars.rock.ap/index.html

According to this article, Chris Rock made the comment, "The (Oscar) awards don't really affect anybody's lives in the crowd," Rock said. "Meanwhile, the Nobel Peace Prize, there's no one there. Nobody cares what the scientists are wearing. What are you wearing Professor Allen? 'Pants!' "

Thank your God (or god, I'm not sure which it should be here. Is it correct to use the proper name here when you are referencing multiple gods? Maybe it should be "deities" or someth... Wait, lets get back to the point I was trying to make. You remember the part before the parentheses right? No. Ok, it said "Thank your God...") there is at least one guy in show biz who realizes that all the hype we as a society lavish on celebrity is a huge F&#KING WASTE OF TIME.

Oh and I liked this quote too: "Don't thank God. God's busy working on the tsunami, so leave him alone." Here here. Like God gives a shit who wins "best supporting animal actor (mammal or bird) in a play about people dealing with the horrors of being unable to afford the REALLY good coffee at Starbucks" or some other useless shit like that. He's got more important things to do, like smiting the wicked and making sure conservatives have something to complain about.

New Slashdot.org Poll shows what geeks really respect

Favorite Hominid Development

Hilarious. Simply Hilarious.

No Hockey

I forgot to blog about this yesterday. The hockey season was officially cancelled yesterday:(

Sigh... I love hockey and I am sad to see the season cancelled. But owners have basically come out and said that they will lose less money if they cancel the season. That's not a good sign for the future of the sport. I remember that it took baseball almost 5 years just to recover to their previous attendance before their strike.

FAT (and not with a PH)

How fat are we as a nation if Amazon.com is selling Defibrillators to individual families?

Movie review

This past weekend Eric and I went to see the new Will Smith Flick Hitch. What a great movie! It was hilarious! Will Smith and Kevin James are very funny in this movie. Any movie that opens with two weiner dogs has to be good:) But really, if you haven't seen it and you like a good comedy then go see it. The very end has a little funny "extra" which you have to just stay and watch.

Valentine's Day

ValentIne's Day is really just an overemphasized card holiday. It is "celebrated" to make men spend tons of money on things that women don't really need but want as a sign that they are loved for at least one day out of the year. The history of it is not that romantic or happy but you can learn more about on the History Channel web site.

Still, I am a romantic at heart and I am in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man that makes me feel loved everyday. This blog is for Eric. I don't want to make anyone puke, but I believe that Eric and I are truly soul mates. It was strange but when I first met him I knew that he was the one and it was like finding that missing half of your heart. Now I don't NEED a man to make me feel whole, that is not what I am getting at, but I do believe that having that special person in your life just makes life better. I still have to say again that the secret to a good and happy marriage is laughter! We laugh everyday at least once, usually many times.

Here are the lyrics to a beautiful song by Martina McBride that sums up how I feel about my dear Eric:

Born To Give My Love To You

I don't know what brought us here
Something in the stars said you and me
I don't know where this feeling comes from
Surely it was meant to be
For I have known you even in my dreams
My eyes are open, my heart can see

CHORUS:As sure as stars light the midnight sky
As sure as children wonder why
As sure as newborn babies cry
I was born to give my love to you
Born to give my love to you

Heaven must be holding on
To all the love I'm feeling now
Here we are this is the moment
I believe it's our turn somehow
Hearts together, hands across the night
One forever, finally in sight

(REPEAT CHORUS)I was born to give my love to you
(I was born to give my love to you)
I was born to give my love to you
I was born to give my love to you

Travel to the Mountain (Time Zone)

I'm in Phoenix again for a few days this week. All and all a very boring trip, but then again I am a boring guy so that is to be expected.

Thankfully, Boeing's incompetence with their own hardware means that I am going to get to come home two days earlier. They spent about 7 hours today trying to determine why the helicopters software would reboot every minute or so. Boring for me just sitting their hoping it would come back up, but entertaining from the point of view of watching them stand around it scratching their heads and mumbling about how "I've never seen it do this". It was like watching frustrated monkeys trying to get to a banana that was just out reach.

The finally gave up around 6:30 pm tonight. And they did not have high hopes for tomorrow either, so we are heading home rather than waste any more money. Sigh...gotta love this government work.

Superbowl Prediction

The current Vegas line is the Patriots by 7 points. I'm going to put my prediction up right here that the Patriots will win by at least 10 points.

TurboTax Sex Line

According to this article from news.com, apparently one of the 1-800 numbers listed as a phone number to purchase additional tax products in the latest version of TurboTax contains a typo. Instead, it directs you to a number that lets you talk to interesting young ladies for only 99 cents a minute. I can just imagine what those sorts of calls are like.

Caller: Hi, I'm looking to purchase some additional services.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Wouldn't you like to know what I am wearing first?

Caller: Ummm......well.....no. That's all right. Lets just talk about the additional services I need to purchase.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Well well...Right to the point. I like that in a caller... what did you have in mind big boy?

Caller: How did you know I had a weight problem? I mean....never mind that...look, I just want to get some additional software.

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: Would you like to get access to my soft breasts or my soft <bleeped for the kids out there>?

Caller: What the hell is this? Listen, I need some SOFTWARE. Not soft breasts or soft <bleeped because it is funny to bleep>. SOFTWARE!

Interesting Young Lady in deep throaty voice: OK, ok. Authoritative! I like that... Ok, we have a large selection of titles to choose from. Would you prefer something like Cum guzzling Republicans? Or something more like euro anal...

Caller: <click>

Step 1 for my New Year's resolution

I bought John Digweed tix for eleven50 in Atlanta, GA for April 2nd from Groovetickets.com!! I am so freakin excited I have to jump up and down whenever I think about it! It is Digweed! So which of you mofo's are going to join us, come on, you know you want to! If you don't know who Digweed is then you can go to Amazon.com and preview some of his tracks from Bedrock or Stark Raving Mad, my two fave discs from him. "Heaven Scent" is my favorite song from Bedrock!

If you want to have tons of fun, go to John Digweed's website at the above link, click on "studio", and then click on "mix a track" and you can mix your own techno track.

Strange Sight

Today I was driving to work behind a dude in a truck. The truck had a US Marines bumper sticker, a "God Bless America" bumper sticker, and a large American flag sticker. All well and good, except he was driving in a Toyota Pathfinder. For whatever reason I found that funny.

NBC, Teens, and Sex

Yesterday Sue was watching that NBC special with Katie Couric about teens and sex in the current generation. Am I the only one who thinks this huge scare about teens having so much sex is a big joke? I just have trouble believing that kids today are having THAT much more oral sex than kids of the previous generation (or the one before that, or the one before that, etc.). Every time one of these shows is on it is always second and third hand accounts of acts (READ: RUMOR). And it's always something like, "I heard these kids went to a party where a whole goat was shoved into a girl's ass while she was blowing the entire male population of Rhode Island" or some crap like that. Its basically just playing on the fears of parents when you tell them stories like that, because you are using hersey to drive your point home.

News Flash 1: Teens had sex in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 1825, 1492, and any other year you can think of.

News Flash 2: Oral sex was not invented in the 80s and 90s, and folks have probably been doing it since the day they figured out how to say the word "oral".

More Civilizations

Joy of Joys! Firaxis annouced today that they are creating a new Civilization IV game to be released in late 2005. Civilization I, II, and III are probably my favorite games of all time!

Weekend Recap

Lessons from this weekend:

1) Apparently I am very sexy when I am fixing computer equipment.

2) I SUCK at answering questions of the form, "If so and so were a <Insert noun here>, what sort of <Insert same noun here> would they be?". Even if they are multiple choice.

3) I am awesome at matching nouns to adjectives however.

4) Canadian beer is GOOOOOOOD.

5) As a corollary to (4), apparently my skill at DDR is proportional to how much alcohol I have consumed (to a limit I have not determined yet; More research is needed...Quickly Sue, to the beer-mobile!).

6) The theory that there are only two degrees of separation between most people in the US is in fact true. Finding that person in between is REALLY hard, but apparently leaving wedding invites out is a good way to improve your odds.

Bunch of Reviews

Music:

The new Papa Rouch CD "Getting Away With Murder" kicks serious ass. Go out and get a copy right now.

The new Ferry Corsten CD "Global Trancemissions 2" kicks ass. Go out and get a copy if you like trance.

I've noticed that I have trouble finding really good CDs of hard house and hard trance. I have plenty of regular trance, which I like. But that stuff is not upbeat enough to keep me awake at work lately. The only CDs I have that have enough hard house and trance are by Bad Boy Joe (Best of NYC Afterhours: Feel the Drums) and Louie Devito (NYC Underground Party, Vol. 3). I need more. Anyone know of any good ones?

Movies:

Garden State is one of the better movies I have seen in years. I already knew Zach Braff was a brillant comedic actor due to his work on Scrubs (best show on T.V. hands down), but this movie shows he is also a brillant writer and director all in one shot. There are so many shots of random stuff that makes you realize just how ridiculous our lives are these days. Also, the soundtrack (thanks Dana!) kicks ass, although it is slow and meloncoly. Not something I would recommend listening to when you are feeling suicidal or driving:)

We can only hope for the best...

As you know, today Bush is being reinstated as president for four more years. I will not watch one second of it. I disagree with everything that man stands for and all of the actions he has taken. What appalls me the most is that he has no remorse for any of the mistakes he or his adminstration has done. He said just recently in an interview that since he was re-elected that the American people agreed with every action he took and that now he has the right to run with any policy he has in the works. He did not win the election by much. The strongest men in life are not afraid to admit their mistakes and they fight with words, not guns. War is brought on by the weak minded. My anti-inauguration is this blog with peace quotes. I got these quotes from a website of peace quotes. Please take the time to read at least one.

"In all of his suffering, as in all of his life and ministry, Jesus refused to defend himself with force or with violence. He endured violence and cruelty so that God's love might be fully manifest and the world might be reconciled to the One from whom it had become estranged. Even at his death, Jesus cried for forgiveness for those who were executioners: "Father, forgive them" "
--The Challenge of Peace

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." --Matthew 5:3

"Do you want long life and happiness? Strive for peace with all your heart." --Psalm 34:12,14

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." --Bertrand Russell

"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising." --Maya Angelou

"We should take care, in inculcating patriotism into our boys and girls, that is a patriotism above the narrow sentiment which usually stops at one's country, and thus inspires jealousy and enmity in dealing with others... Our patriotism should be of the wider, nobler kind which recognises justice and reasonableness in the claims of others and which lead our country into comradeship with...the other nations of the world. The first step to this end is to develop peace and goodwill within our borders, by training our youth of both sexes to its practice as their habit of life, so that the jealousies of town against town, class against class and sect against sect no longer exist; and then to extend this good feeling beyond our frontiers towards our neighbours."
--Lord Baden-Powell

"There have been periods of history in which episodes of terrible violence occurred but for which the word violence was never used...Violence is shrouded in justifying myths that lend it moral legitimacy, and these myths for the most part kept people from recognizing the violence for what it was. The people who burned witches at the stake never for one moment thought of their act as violence; rather they though of it as an act of divinely mandated righteousness. The same can be said of most of the violence we humans have ever committed." --Gil Bailie

"Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace.It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him." --King Baudouin I, King of Belgium

"When you're finally up on the moon, looking back at the earth, all these differences and nationalistic traits are pretty well going to blend and you're going to get a concept that maybe this is really one world and why the hell can't we learn to live together like decent people? "
--Frank Borman

"Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity." --Buddha

"Non-violence is a very powerful weapon. Most people don't understand the power of non-violence and tend to be amazed by the whole idea. Those who have been involved in bringing about change and see the difference between violence and non-violence are firmly committed to a lifetime of non-violence, not because it is easy or because it is cowardly, but because it is an effective and very powerful way." --Cesar Chavez

"We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace." --William Ellery Channing

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." --Winston Churchill

"Very few people chose war. They chose selfishness and the result was war. Each of us, individually and nationally, must choose: total love or total war." --Dave Dellinger

"Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." --Albert Einstein

I Got Nothing

I've been having writers block the last week or so. Its weird because Sue has had the last five posts in a row; an previously unheard of string of posts for her. So I'm just going to throw out a bunch of little things and hope that, like us, the whole is more than sum of its parts (did I just blow your mind?).

- NASA launched their "Deep Impact" probe on Wednesday (he he...probe). Does anyone but me see that name and think "porn movie title"?

- Sue and I are now officially addicted to Dance Dance Revolution (DDR). It is quite the aerobic workout (or I am really in horrible shape...its hard to differentiate between those two states). I have no idea what happened, but yesterday my feet and brain finally hooked it all up and I am now able to at least get through the light level on all the songs (although I will get a D on most of the hard songs). Still, that makes it a lot more enjoyable! Its easy to do that for an hour or two without even thinking about. My buddy Paul told me to remember that, "pain is just weakness leaving the body". That's a very good motivator, especially after the first day when I could not straighten my legs without a lot of pain. Sue and I are already looking for a deal on another pad so that we can both play together.

- Work has been better this last week. For about two weeks there I was in this sort of fog where I could not make heads or tails of the new system I was working with. Then just like DDR, it all just sort of clicked in my head. Its weird. One minute I cannot tell you anything about how it works, and the next it all just sort of makes perfect sense. Its weird. It's hard to imagine that the neural connections in my brain just went from a random set of connections to something that can sort out the stream of events out of the system I am working on. What is weirder is that somehow the neurons connect correctly without an outside teacher telling them when they have correctly fired. I don't understand it.